# Are people afraid to say "died" or "dead" when talking about the deceased? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2023, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479 "2023-02-08T12:28:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2023, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/61 "2023-02-09T23:31:36Z")
_“She didn’t pass on, pass over, or pass out! She died!”_ Robert Newton in _This Happy Breed_. (1944) ---
**Author:** ![WellHelloThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9dc877/32.png) [@WellHelloThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WellHelloThere)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/62 "2023-02-10T00:18:43Z")
I will say “my (x) died”, but I am much more hesitant to say “your (x) died”. It sounds very blunt and potentially rude. That is just me. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/63 "2023-02-10T02:42:37Z")
Then there’s “lost the will to live”. What’s that about? Can’t see myself saying it. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/64 "2023-02-10T03:11:10Z")
As a description of the late stage process if you knew the details of someone’s last weeks it sounds sensible and plausible and possibly sensitive and polite to your audience. But as a generic euphemism for “died”, yeah, that’s pure BS. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/65 "2023-02-10T04:32:49Z")
> [@kitap](#): > > On reddit “unalived” is creeping in. ‘Sam unalived himself’ When I’ve seen that on Reddit it’s to get around the filters that will automatically remove posts that say “killed himself.” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/66 "2023-02-10T09:39:59Z")
Civilians pass away. Soldiers fall. Parents, spouses and children are lost. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/67 "2023-02-10T11:24:23Z")
> [@MrAtoz](#): > > I’ve also noticed people using “took his own life,” rather than saying “committed suicide.” I suppose it sounds less harsh. AIUI, the use of the phrase “committed ” is associated in some people’s minds with crime and includes connotations of blame - thus the motive to promote alternatives that don’t include such stigma. > **[My Son Took His Own Life. Here's Why You Should Stop Saying 'Committed Suicide.'](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/dont-say-committed-suicide_n_60393006c5b6371109dbc63b)** > > "I can’t bring my son back. But as a bereaved parent, I can ask one thing of the rest of the world." ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/68 "2023-02-10T19:04:57Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > That word is so far removed from the concept of death that if I had heard/read the word before reading your post, I would not have understood it as a reference to death. same is true for reorganization / restructure … for “ **the company went bankrupt** ” … you know some press releases really make it sound like the changed HQ or so … instead of being clear that they folded. > [@Alessan](#): > > Civilians pass away. > > Soldiers fall. > > Parents, spouses and children are lost. I recall in my youth (1960ies-70ies) to have heard the phrase “_Mein Mann ist in Stalingrad geblieben_” quite often (literally: My husband stayed in Stalingrad) … which is even more outlandish than “has fallen in Stalingrad” ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/69 "2023-02-10T19:16:41Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > same is true for reorganization / restructure … for “ **the company went bankrupt** ” > > … you know some press releases really make it sound like the changed HQ or so … instead of being clear that they folded. **[For US corporations, one often hears of two different classes of bankruptcy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bankruptcy_in_the_United_States#Chapters_of_the_Bankruptcy_Code)**: A Chapter 7 bankruptcy means, yes, the company has folded, everyone’s being fired, and all of the assets are being liquidated to raise cash that goes toward paying off whatever debt they can. A Chapter 11 bankruptcy does indeed allow for reorganization of the company and continued operation, the idea being that such a path is likely to lead to a better outcome for the company’s creditors than a full Chapter 7 liquidation. It’s not just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, either: the plan has to be approved by the bankruptcy court and by the company’s creditors, otherwise it gets converted to a Chapter 7 bankruptcy/liquidation. > **[Chapter 11, Title 11, United States Code | Chapter 11 overview](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapter_11,_Title_11,_United_States_Code#Chapter_11_overview)** > > When a business is unable to service its debt or pay its creditors, the business or its creditors can file with a federal bankruptcy court for protection under either Chapter 7 or Chapter 11. > In Chapter 7, the business ceases operations, a trustee sells all of its assets, and then distributes the proceeds to its creditors. Any residual amount is returned to the owners of the company. > In Chapter 11, in most instances the debtor remains in control of its business operations as a debtor in possess... ---
**Author:** ![WellHelloThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9dc877/32.png) [@WellHelloThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WellHelloThere)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/70 "2023-02-11T04:08:10Z")
How about “after a long battle”, as in Mr. Smith passed after a long battle with cancer. I always hate that one, as though you can fight a terminal disease. Its like if you drowned and they said"Mr. Smith lost his battle with the ocean today, during the hurricane." ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/71 "2023-02-11T05:12:06Z")
> [@WellHelloThere](#): > > as though you can fight a terminal disease You certainly can, it’s just that you are guaranteed to lose. It’s pretty normal human psychology to lionize the good fight, even if it’s doomed to eventual defeat. People still make movies about the heroic stand at Thermopylae, which probably accomplished pretty much nothing in concrete military terms. ---
**Author:** ![WellHelloThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9dc877/32.png) [@WellHelloThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WellHelloThere)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/72 "2023-02-11T05:16:37Z")
I mean, ok. But you can’t hit a tumor. Maybe it is my own personal thing, but I don’t like the idea that you can fight harder against a disease like you could fight against a Persian invader. It puts too much on the person suffering from the disease. Its bad enough they are dying, dont make them feel like a loser too ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/73 "2023-02-11T09:06:52Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I just don’t take it as an accurate word, and in some ways going into death (i.e. saying someone died) sort of equates that one chose to go to hell and is there now, which is something we don’t know. Whoa, Nellie! I don’t plan on going to Hell when I kick the bucket. The odds are that Hell is _not_ in my future. I figure there’s a 50/50 chance an afterlife even exists, and if it does exist, there’s only a 50/50 chance I’ll go to Hell…unless God is more omniscient than I suppose, in which case, I’m screwed. As for using euphemisms for “dead”, I think it’s simply for the same reason we use use euphemisms to soften graphic descriptions of any other delicate subject in the presence of those who may be sensitive to the subject. For example, if QEII (before she shuffled off this mortal coil) was a guest at my house and Prince Philip arrived late and asked where his better half was, I would reply, _“her Majesty is in the powder room, powdering her nose”_, not _“Queenie’s in the crapper, taking a dump.”_ I’m not going to risk being _sent to the Tower._ ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/74 "2023-02-11T16:56:33Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > I figure there’s a 50/50 chance an afterlife even exists, just curious: how do you derive at a 50/50 chance for afterlife existing? why not a 1/99 chance (which seems more in line with what we see evidence-based concerning the topic) … don’t get me wrong - I know this is your belief-system, rather than hard knowledge but still … ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/75 "2023-02-11T17:34:08Z")
I would assume it’s because the question is a binary proposition: the afterlife exists or it doesn’t. Whether this is a sensible assessment is left as an exercise for the reader. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/76 "2023-02-11T17:48:33Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > just curious: how do you derive at a 50/50 chance for afterlife existing? I was joking. I believe the odds of an afterlife are virtually zero, based on science. I say _virtually_ to allow for some quantum effect we may not be aware of yet. ---
**Author:** ![Paxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/50afbb/32.png) [@Paxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paxx)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/77 "2023-02-11T18:20:44Z")
Besides euphemisms about people who are dead, there’s also the phrasing of future death. So, instead of saying “When I die …” or “After I’m dead …”, many people will say “When I’m gone” or “After I’m gone”. Also, if someone is planning their estate and discussing what will happen at death, I’ve heard the advisor say “If you get hit by a Mack truck tomorrow”, which provides a quick, relatively painless death along with an element of uncontrollable chance. (Assuming a person knows what a Mack truck is.) ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2023, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/78 "2023-02-11T18:48:17Z")
> [@Paxx](#): > > I’ve heard the advisor say “If you get hit by a Mack truck tomorrow”, I’ve heard, “hit by a bus”. (And i doubt it’s painless. But quick and unexpected is the idea.) ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2023, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/79 "2023-02-13T22:01:26Z")
I’m sorry that I didn’t pay better attention to it, but I could have sworn in the past several months while watching a documentary the narration mentioned about what will happen when the animal passes away. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2023, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479/80 "2023-02-13T22:18:00Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > > [@kitap](#): > > > > On reddit “unalived” is creeping in. ‘Sam unalived himself’ > > When I’ve seen that on Reddit it’s to get around the filters that will automatically remove posts that say “killed himself.” I saw it recently as a euphemism for murder. “I think Bob unalived Jeff”. And this was on a true crime subreddit. Might have been unresolvedmysteries. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-people-afraid-to-say-died-or-dead-when-talking-about-the-deceased/979479.md?page=5)