# Are police procedurals becoming self-parodies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363 "2013-11-07T22:22:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![stanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@stanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stanger)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/41 "2013-11-09T15:40:01Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I never watched that show, but I’ll bet NCIS can give them a run for their money for the magic computer clichés. In both cases, maybe because it’s The Feds, we’re supposed to assume they can do just about anything. > > I especially love when they’re trying to keep some outside person (!) from cracking into their computer so they start typing really really fast, and meanwhile the display is going from one screen to another as if every third keystroke was directing to another program, and it just makes no sense at all. Cracks me up every time. > Roddy I remember an episode similar to this where two people were watching as someone was trying to hack into the system and one began to type furiously on the keyboard to try and stop them. Apparently, they couldn’t type fast enough, _so the other person started typing also - on the same keyboard, at the same time - in order to get enough keystrokes in to save the day_ If they are going to portray fantasy on these shows, why not just promote it as a crime fantasy series and be done with it. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/42 "2013-11-09T16:08:22Z")
> [@stanger](#): > > I remember an episode similar to this where two people were watching as someone was trying to hack into the system and one began to type furiously on the keyboard to try and stop them. > > Apparently, they couldn’t type fast enough, _so the other person started typing also - on the same keyboard, at the same time - in order to get enough keystrokes in to save the day_ > > If they are going to portray fantasy on these shows, why not just promote it as a crime fantasy series and be done with it. _NCIS_ [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/u8qgehH3kEQ/hqdefault.jpg "NCIS 2 IDIOTS 1 KEYBOARD") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ) ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/43 "2013-11-09T16:15:18Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > [You mean like this one](http://www.classmates.com/yearbooks/Southold-High-School/168477)? > > This is an example of why you shouldn’t think things are impossible or incorrect based solely on your own knowledge. If you think that someone has gotten their facts wrong, look up the facts before commenting. I enjoy doing genealogy and use that site a lot. They have a lot of yearbooks, but they are missing about 90% of the ones I would like to see. So Abby or Garcia could find the person they’re looking for but it would be more unusual than usual. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/44 "2013-11-09T16:49:46Z")
Saw a show recently where they wanted a DNA test and someone pointed out that that would take weeks. Wow! I thought all police lab DNA tests took a couple hours on TV. [The](http://www.localmemphis.com/story/backlog-of-rape-kits-will-cost-more-than-expected/d/story/oZfwo6N16UON3MSneH0nSA) [reality](http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/28/outrage-over-nationwide-rape-kit-backlog/). One ridiculous trend is the fast turnaround of real life stuff into fictional fodder for these shows. One recent [SVU](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3186484/) even did a two-fer: a Paula Deen-Trayvon Martin case rolled into one. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/45 "2013-11-09T17:49:04Z")
Thank you. > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Check out Charlie Brooker’s [A Touch of Cloth](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2240991/combined). > > For example: [the chase sequence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B67xhWEOVlA) ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/46 "2013-11-09T17:50:24Z")
> [@Accidental\_Martyr](#): > > _NCIS_ > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ) My [favorite](http://youtu.be/hkDD03yeLnU) ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/47 "2013-11-10T01:06:50Z")
I am actually more bothered by the fact that nobody ever uses a mouse. How would I know they are working hard if we don’t hear the keystrokes? ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/48 "2013-11-10T01:07:49Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > One ridiculous trend is the fast turnaround of real life stuff into fictional fodder for these shows. One recent [SVU](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3186484/) even did a two-fer: a Paula Deen-Trayvon Martin case rolled into one. When it comes to L&O that trend is approaching 25 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/49 "2013-11-10T01:15:18Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Check out Charlie Brooker’s [A Touch of Cloth](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2240991/combined). > > For example: [the chase sequence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B67xhWEOVlA) That’s hilarious, I’m watching the episodes now. It’s a worthy successor to _Police Squad_. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/50 "2013-11-10T01:39:33Z")
For anyone who enjoys _A Touch of Cloth_ check out [A Touch of Cloth: Charlie Brooker & Dan Maier in The Writers’ Room](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttEI6zrcAhA) where Charlie explains that, to check what they wanted to parody, they got editors to assemble DVDs of types of scenes from various shows. And how similar they all are once taken out of the narrative flow. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/51 "2013-11-10T14:48:54Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > I am actually more bothered by the fact that nobody ever uses a mouse. How would I know they are working hard if we don’t hear the keystrokes? The keyboard IS a lot faster, if you know how to type. Unless you are working in a browser … oh. Good point. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/52 "2013-11-11T12:33:15Z")
> [@j666](#): > > The keyboard IS a lot faster, if you know how to type. > > Unless you are working in a browser … oh. Good point. My friend uses vim bindings so he can use a browser (actually, his whole OS) entirely via keyboard and vim-lifted keyboard macros. It’s a lot faster than a mouse. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/53 "2013-11-12T00:53:25Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Saw a show recently where they wanted a DNA test and someone pointed out that that would take weeks. Nonsense, Dr. Warner on Law and Order: SVU gets results like this back in a couple of hours. 😉 I suspect medical examiners around the country suffer severe ocular muscle sprains from the eye-rolling they must do in response to her rapid-fire forensic findings. “You know that murder victim’s body I just posted for you? Well, the seminal fluid contains traces of a prescription drug used to treat hypertension in marmosets. And there was a tiny leaf stuck to his underwear, which I’ve identified as belonging to a plant that only grows on Avery Island, Louisiana. So you’d better check out Tabasco employees with access to veterinary drugs.” ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/54 "2013-11-12T07:58:35Z")
I was under the impression that a DNA test only takes about a day or so, but the limiting factor was that most DNA labs are swamped with weeks of backlog work. So in theory-land where you have your own personal DNA lab, you could get results fairly quickly. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/55 "2013-11-13T01:38:05Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > My friend uses vim bindings so he can use a browser (actually, his whole OS) entirely via keyboard and vim-lifted keyboard macros. > It’s a lot faster than a mouse. What are these vim bindings of which you speak? I have to use a lot of browser-based applications (read as: spawn of satan), that, as an only reasonably good typist, I find incredibly frustrating and time-consuming. Is there really a way I can get around this? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/56 "2013-11-13T02:27:19Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > Abby, zoom in on that bottom part. > Focus on the center section and enhance. > There it is. That’s the killer’s M.O. :smack::smack::smack: ---
**Author:** ![Vicullum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/6de8d8/32.png) [@Vicullum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vicullum)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/57 "2013-11-17T22:03:07Z")
There’s a [Reddit thread](http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/f2i7t/ive_written_for_tv_shows_like_csi_and_numbers/) from a few years back where one show writer explained why they have all of those ridiculous “zoom/enhance” or “computer hacking” scenes. Basically (1) most of their viewers aren’t tech-savvy and don’t know any better and (2) it really riles up those that are, so they get a good laugh at their expense. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/58 "2013-11-17T22:11:26Z")
I’ve started a separate thread on knife wound identification [here,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=708038) titled “CSI: Pointy Weapons”. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/59 "2013-11-18T06:44:41Z")
Imho, they’re the new zena/Hercules/highlander, where science has replaced magic. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363/60 "2013-11-18T14:29:06Z")
L&O-SVU must be right on top of a Hellmouth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-police-procedurals-becoming-self-parodies/673363.md?page=4)