# Are scalar weapons for real? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 4, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879 "2003-08-04T12:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/361 "2003-08-28T16:54:38Z")
Oh and welcome to the boards **Fire Fox 40**. We’re all having a momentary lapse here. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/362 "2003-08-28T17:02:01Z")
I forgot to add the “link”. [Here it is.](http://www.suite101.com/userfiles/4439/fester.gif) The link also includes testimony and some photos of the actual device in use. Scroll down for the info. ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/363 "2003-08-28T17:13:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\*Probably the ones with the patented _“wound warble effect”_ built right in. These of course were funded and developed by the **Physics of Heat and Resources Technology** (also known as PHART) department of the Institute where the fairly distiguished Prof. Calvin and somewhat renowned Dr. Hobbes did a majority of thier grant work. \*\* PHART was key in the development of specific aspects of the technology for the 1920’s style Death-Ray, but it wasn’t until Dr. Claude Pierre Rouge came from France and took over research that the functionality as a whole for the Death-Ray was overhauled and improved. Incidentally, after Dr. Rouge joined the team, it became the International Physics of Heat and Resources Technology Extended Department referred to as I. PHARTED. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/364 "2003-08-28T17:23:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\* These of course were funded and developed by the **Physics of Heat and Resources Technology** (also known as PHART) department of the Institute where the fairly distiguished Prof. Calvin and somewhat renowned Dr. Hobbes did a majority of thier grant work. > \*\* Prof. Calvin was still active in the death ray field up until the early 1970’s. Dr. Hobbes’ autobiography, “How Was I To Know It’ Worked?”, published in 1965, is highly important, as the only autobiography that any of the major death ray designers (and, contrary to what other members of the board have been suggesting, the Zottis were promoters, not designers, and they sold their shares of Consolidated Death Rays in 1959.) ever wrote, although it is somewhat controversial today, due to remarks made in it about Dr. Carlin of B,C, & B. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/365 "2003-08-28T17:29:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\* These of course were funded and developed by the **Physics of Heat and Resources Technology** (also known as PHART) department of the Institute where the fairly distiguished Prof. Calvin and somewhat renowned Dr. Hobbes did a majority of thier grant work. > \*\* Prof. Calvin was still active in the death ray field up until the early 1970’s. Dr. Hobbes’ autobiography, “How Was I To Know It’ Worked?”, published in 1965, is highly important, as the only autobiography that any of the major death ray designers (and, contrary to what other members of the board have been suggesting, the Zottis were promoters, not designers, and they sold their shares of Consolidated Death Rays in 1959.) ever wrote, although it is somewhat controversial today, due to remarks made in it about Dr. Carlin of B,C, & B. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/366 "2003-08-28T17:31:28Z")
It was so important a thought, I had to repeat it. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/367 "2003-08-28T18:11:23Z")
**Quinn, frixxx** , you (we) forgot to add that much of the early research on the device known as the **Transmorgrifier** was key in developing the technology associated with the “Death Ray”. - Because Dr. Hobbes never made public appearances, the Zottis were brought on board to lobby for the public funds. Early opponents of the Transmorgrifier likened the device to a refridgerator box with soda cans glued to it. However this early work also led to Homer`s design of the first artificial kidney (which opponents likened to a beer can with a whistle glued to it). In the end, these early designers had the last laugh as all of thier hard work eventually led to the oft aplauded and publicly acclaimed “Death Ray”. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/368 "2003-08-28T18:22:35Z")
**Quinn, frixxx** , you (we) forgot to add that much of the early research on the device known as the **Transmorgrifier** was key in developing the technology associated with the “Death Ray”. - Because Dr. Hobbes never made public appearances, the Zottis were brought on board to lobby for the public funds. Early opponents of the Transmorgrifier likened the device to a refridgerator box with soda cans glued to it. However this early work also led to Homer`s design of the first artificial kidney (which opponents likened to a beer can with a whistle glued to it). In the end, these early designers had the last laugh as all of thier hard work eventually led to the oft aplauded and publicly acclaimed “Death Ray”. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/369 "2003-08-28T19:31:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frixxxx \* > \*\*PHART was key in the development of specific aspects of the technology for the 1920’s style Death-Ray, but it wasn’t until Dr. Claude Pierre Rouge came from France and took over research that the functionality as a whole for the Death-Ray was overhauled and improved. Incidentally, after Dr. Rouge joined the team, it became the International Physics of Heat and Resources Technology Extended Department referred to as I. PHARTED. \*\* For the last time, it’s “Claude-Pierre” Rouge. His work came under scrutiny later on when his experiments with the death ray caused huge blackouts on the east coast. It came to light that he was pirating energy from California to power up his “Ferro-Enron Emitter Laser” (FEEL), rather than using PHART to further “death ray” research. He was arrested and brought to trial, where he plea bargained his sentence down to misdemeanor groping. After copping to FEEL, PHART was finished. The whole affair stank to high heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/370 "2003-08-28T20:47:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\ ***Quinn, frixxx** , you (we) forgot to add that much of the early research on the device known as the **Transmorgrifier** was key in developing the technology associated with the “Death Ray”. > > - Because Dr. Hobbes never made public appearances, the Zottis were brought on board to lobby for the public funds. > > Early opponents of the Transmorgrifier likened the device to a refridgerator box with soda cans glued to it. However this early work also led to Homer`s design of the first artificial kidney (which opponents likened to a beer can with a whistle glued to it). > In the end, these early designers had the last laugh as all of thier hard work eventually led to the oft aplauded and publicly acclaimed “Death Ray”. \*\* Three slight (but understandable) bits of confusion: 1. The Transmorgafier was refered to as a “$350,000 piece of cardboard”, and H. J. Simpson didn’t begin his work on the artificial kidney until 1971, at which point Hobbes was dead and Calvin in semi-retirement. 2. Dr. Hobbes did make public appearances, but not until 1942, when FDR appointed him Chairman of the Board of Experimental Weapons. 3. It wasn’t the Transmorgafier that mattered so much, but, rather, the efforts of Dr. Hobbes and Prof. Calvin in 1920 to transform it into handgun form that mattered. ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/371 "2003-08-28T21:28:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\*Early opponents of the Transmorgrifier likened the device to a refridgerator box with soda cans glued to it. However this early work also led to Homer`s design of the first artificial kidney (which opponents likened to a beer can with a whistle glued to it). \*\* Which is why most '20s style Death Rays look like refrigerator boxes with beer cans and whistles glued to them. Rumor has it beer figures _heavily_ in most discussions about '20s style Death Rays. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/372 "2003-08-28T21:57:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Great Unwashed \* > \*\*That’ll be the experimental 1920’s style thought ray. > > Did it hurt much? \*\* Not as much as when I jammed my hand in the grinder because I lost my concentration on what I was doing thanks to that thought ray. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/373 "2003-08-28T22:33:55Z")
Ah, so the phrase “weapons of mass destruction” refers to weapons that actually **destroy MASS**? And these have been around since the 1920s, or is it only their **style** that’s been around? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/374 "2003-08-28T22:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by panache45 \* > \*\*And these have been around since the 1920s, or is it only their **style** that’s been around? \*\* Death rays have been around since the 1890’s, but the archtypical style associated with death rays was a product of the early 1920’s. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/375 "2003-08-28T22:44:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*Death rays have been around since the 1890’s, but the archtypical style associated with death rays was a product of the early 1920’s. \*\* Death Rays of the 1890’s are more properly referred to as “Infernal Devices”. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/376 "2003-08-28T23:38:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*Three slight (but understandable) bits of confusion: > > 1. The Transmorgafier was refered to as a “$350,000 piece of cardboard”, and H. J. Simpson didn’t begin his work on the artificial kidney until 1971, at which point Hobbes was dead and Calvin in semi-retirement. > > 2. Dr. Hobbes did make public appearances, but not until 1942, when FDR appointed him Chairman of the Board of Experimental Weapons. > > 3. It wasn’t the Transmorgafier that mattered so much, but, rather, the efforts of Dr. Hobbes and Prof. Calvin in 1920 to transform it into handgun form that mattered. \*\* Thanks for clearing that up. I may beg to differ point the second. I am quite sure that Hobbes has never made any public appearances…ever. Anything that appeared to be his image in a public setting has been disallowed and anyone claiming such nonsense will be dispatched to the nearest available bidet to have their eye sockets cleansed for a good fifteen to eighteen minutes. Thanks again. ---
**Author:** ![VernWinterbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c67d28/32.png) [@VernWinterbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VernWinterbottom)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/377 "2003-08-29T00:08:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*The Zottis were promoters, not designers, and they sold their shares of Consolidated Death Rays in 1959. \*\* The Zottis were such great promoters they’ve got you all thinking they had _real_ death rays. The Zottis actually were a circus act. They shot a man in a tin foil suit into a net from a big cannon-like thing that operated with a huge rubber band. It had “Consolidated Death Rays” painted on the side along with stars and lightning bolts. I saw the act myself years back when Clyde Beaty & Cole Bros. set up in the next town. The whole Zotti thing is a sham. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/378 "2003-08-29T00:29:12Z")
Strangely enough, it was a cat, wearing a tine foil hat, sealed in a box, gently manufacturing probabiltiy waves, which gave Dr. Calvin the final piece of the puzzle for portable death ray generators, popularly known as “Death Rays.” (What are ya gonna do? The public liked the short name…) For in the cat’s rather obvious manipulation of both the velocity and mass of subatomic particles that cemented the idea formulating in brain: A portable death ray generator can have no moving parts! After seeing the blindingly obvious, it took only 30 minutes t build his death ray generator, yarrr. Unfortunately, Dr. Calvin left out one very vital piece. The discomboobrulator. His machine did have amasing functionality, though, later being popularised as the “Transmogrifier” of fame in the New Punic Wars of 1927-1933 which are still being fought today by mercenaries in time machine tanks of dubious design. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/379 "2003-08-29T10:31:52Z")
Four more posts required before this thread becomes the longest. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/380 "2003-08-29T11:46:35Z")
It seems that research into Rayguns has been continuing to the present day in an attempt to improve on some of the classic models from the 1920s. Unfortunately it would appear that recent federal budget cuts have placed some research on the backburner. From [here](http://www.theonion.com/current_news1.html): > [@](#): > > UPTON, ME—In response to recent budget cuts, the National Science Foundation has reduced grants to individual recipients, including those of megalomaniacal researcher Dr. Edward Mortis of Brookhaven Laboratories. > > “My positronic raygun was nearly complete,” said Mortis at a press conference Tuesday. “With one gigagram of destructonium [a rare element mined from a meteor belt that passes Earth once every 29 years], I could have ruled the world!” Initial testing of the positronic raygun produced a sound like this: ZZZZZZSSSHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRAAAACK! ouch! It was hoped that later prototypes would sound more like this: ZZZZZZSSSHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRAAAACK! ow that really hurt! On a different tack, I would like to know if a 1920s style death ray is actually a 1920s death ray or is it a more modern death ray made in the style of a 1920s death ray? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=20)