# Are scalar weapons for real? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 4, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879 "2003-08-04T12:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/461 "2003-08-30T22:38:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by klockwerk \* > \*\*Has anyone managed to connect their 1920’s style death ray to their invisible pink unicorn? Would such a thing be possible? \*\* -You didn’t know? Unicorn “alicorns” are a key component of the 20’s style Death Ray, and have been since the Guiseppe Brothers experiments, the ones in which they were trying to make a cheap substitute for chewing tobacco, which led directly to the development of the original “infernal engines” of the late ninteenth century. It’s obvious in most depictions of a 20’s style Death ray- the long conical Force Projector Array, with radial fins much like those later popularized by George Jetson. That is, in fact, an alicorn- the spiral form of the naturally-grown horn, when coated with a thin layer of Beryllium, Unobtanium, and Eye of Newt, focuses the D-rays in that particular way so fondly admired by serious 20’s style Death Ray collectors. Standard Unicorn alicorns will work, of course, but Invisible Pink Alicorns are best- they give the longest range and fastest decimation rates (as seen in the Total Annihilation benchmarking tests that _Wired_ did a few years back) and, of course, they’re vital for the Tucker Death Chariot’s cloaking mode. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/462 "2003-08-30T22:42:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\* > Anyway, as a result of my experience, I have to believe that despite the persistent rumors, these documents have been lost permanently. \*\* The thing is, the Tucker Death Ray documents probably survive. However, since they aren’t part of the B, C, & B papers donated to Drexel University, it is believed that they are still in the hands of one of the B, C & B principals- none of whom will admit being responsible. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/463 "2003-08-30T23:00:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tramp \* > I believe the first literary mention of a 1920’s style death ray came in Stenbeck’s classic “The Grapes of Wrath”. Nah. It was H.G. Wells: > [@](#): > > No one would have believed, in the last years of the 1920’s, that human affairs, were being… ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/464 "2003-08-31T00:19:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*The thing is, the Tucker Death Ray documents probably survive. However, since they aren’t part of the B, C, & B papers donated to Drexel University, it is believed that they are still in the hands of one of the B, C & B principals- none of whom will admit being responsible. \*\* GQ, you are absolutely right about the papers…they do exist, I have them in a safety deposit box ins Switz…er…curses GQ, you almost had me. The Tucker Death Ray documents are actually written in code and currently believed to be the babblings of a man named Nostrodamus. But after seeding a PRNG with the sum of two independent RNGs, then subtracting every other letter after every other prime number, the 1930’s style Buck Rogers decipher ring can be used and the papers read like a Beetle Bailey comic. BTW, there is not a drop of blue tequila to be found in O’hare airport…AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/465 "2003-08-31T00:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frixxxx \* > **GQ, you are absolutely right about the papers…they do exist, I have them in a safety deposit box ins Switz…er…curses GQ, you almost had me.** You’re Dr. Carlin or one of the Barrises? > [@](#): > > \*\* The Tucker Death Ray documents are actually written in code and currently believed to be the babblings of a man named Nostrodamus. But after seeding a PRNG with the sum of two independent RNGs, then subtracting every other letter after every other prime number, the 1930’s style Buck Rogers decipher ring can be used and the papers read like a Beetle Bailey comic.\*\* Now, why would a serious scientist running a company write his papers in this manner? Especially considering that the papers that survive (due to McMurto copying them) aren’t written in this manner. ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/466 "2003-08-31T02:36:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\* > Now, why would a serious scientist running a company write his papers in this manner? Especially considering that the papers that survive (due to McMurto copying them) aren’t written in this manner. \*\* This history, of course, was pre-McMurto: The papers were discovered by the SS (Nazi regime) and a copy was smuggled out by one of their agents (1938). Upon reaching Berlin, the originals were rushed off to Adolph for review. In 1942, the Luftwaffe tried to mount the 1920’s style Death-Ray in the bomb bays but found that the radius of the weapon could not be supported and remain functional with any contemporary modifications. [Site](http://www.warbirdsresourcegroup.org/LRG/ju86.html) In 1944, the plans were coded to hide the knowledge of the 3rd Reich and stuffed in an archival vault next to the “so-called” Nostrodamus Prophecies since the Title of the document was Nicht-fur-Ray-aber-D3ath-verboten. These plans were discovered by the allies but they were stuffed into the docier of a Nazi sympathizer from France - Mdm Adele Rouge…who outwitted here allied captors, stole her docier and kept it until her death when it was left with the will to her son, none other than Claude-Pierre Rouge. Now, you know why he’s an expert in 1920’s style Death Rays. From here it shuffled around until it was stolen by the janitor one night to support his heroine addiction and fell into my hands while visiting EuroDisney 5 years ago. So, \*\* GQ \*\* that should straighten it out for you.:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/467 "2003-08-31T03:01:14Z")
Ahh, never mind. I was under the impression that it was Tucker papers, not general (if interesting) death ray papers. A “heroine” addiction, you say? ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/468 "2003-08-31T03:05:57Z")
Sure, he collected “Wonder Woman” figurines. Do you have any _idea_ how expensive a hobby that is? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/469 "2003-08-31T06:35:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > **Cervaise** , any idea of who did the fakes? If it was Joaquin Martinez Miro, you’ll regret not keeping them. No, not Miro, but as it turned out there was minor emotional compensation when we figured out who was responsible: a well-known artist with both a famous mischevous streak and [an oddly synchronistic name](http://www.artchive.com/artchive/M/man_ray.html). Sadly for my checkbook, what I bought was merely one of a hundred printings, so there’s really no chance of a resale to another collector. Still, it’s an interesting piece of work, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/470 "2003-08-31T15:08:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Gaspode \* > **Nah. It was H.G. Wells** Are you sure? Huxley mentioned death rays in an article he wrote in 1922. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/471 "2003-08-31T15:37:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _Organically posted by Governor Quinn_ > **Are you sure? Huxley mentioned death rays in an article he wrote in 1922.** It’s well established that Leonardo da Vinci invented not only the helicopter, but the 1920’s style death ray as well. The current owner of Leonardo’s Codex containing the plans is one Bill Gates, and I’d suggest that we should be careful lest Bill become aware of this discussion. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/472 "2003-08-31T18:16:52Z")
Bill Gate’s breath smell likes… [knock nock] excuse me [opens door without checking who it is] What the…? [fnord sounds and alot of hissing and zapping going on] Ow! Jebus! Will you watch where you point that thing? [konks doofus on head with his own malfunctioning 1930s style death ray] [searches pocketses of unconcious guy for ID] Alex Trebeck?! ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/473 "2003-08-31T18:17:00Z")
Like Mr. Gates isn’t already aware. I think it should be noted that the Evil Empire Mr. Gates has founded is but a lunar based gaint 1920’s style death-ray away from total global domination. Just so you are aware. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/474 "2003-08-31T20:52:57Z")
**Desmostylus** Interesting that you should mention Leonardo DaVinci’s research in death ray technology. Here is the title from one of his many manuscripts on the subject: \*\*1920’s pistola mortale del raggio - arma degli di distruzione enorme\*\* I think it is indicative of DaVinci’s genius that he actually used the term 1920’s !!! The prescience of this great thinker is truly astounding !! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/475 "2003-08-31T20:58:00Z")
Ah… He was on the Spice. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/476 "2003-08-31T22:36:06Z")
The Spice Channel? ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/477 "2003-08-31T22:40:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Ah… He was on the Spice. \*\* I heard that CHOAM had stockpiled these weapons for a raid on the House Atreides, but that could never be substantiated. Left them on Arrakis as I understand it…the Fremen got’em all ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/478 "2003-08-31T23:03:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolf\_meister \* > \*\ ***Tuckerfan** > The artist to whom you referred ( **Joaquin Martinez Miro** ) is probably best known for his work “chiens jouant aux cartes”. Critics have called this work “deliciously bad” and “outrageously hopeless”. The only other work that could even rival this was his “chiens jouant des billards” which was similarly received with snickers and muffled laughter. \*\* Really? I would have thought his “lézards terribles jouant des dards” would have taken that “prize.” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/479 "2003-09-01T00:00:18Z")
I inherited two of his “canards jouant au match de foot” from the same person who left me his death rays, his books on death rays, and his death ray film collection (from whence I saw Dr. Hobbes). It’s silly, but not too silly. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/480 "2003-09-01T00:02:45Z")
GQ You really should open an institute for the study and production of 1920’s style death rays. With the advances in material science in the last 80 years could really prove to be a revolution for death-ray’s [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=25)