# Are scalar weapons for real? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 4, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879 "2003-08-04T12:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/541 "2003-09-04T18:44:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*True, and, in a bit of trivia, the Veeblefetzer company went back into business in 1996. They currently account for 3% of the U.S. death ray market. \*\* Right, and they were originally called United Death Ray Inc. They then chose a more ambiguous name (Floggemshortz-- by using a random character program (set to German sounding phonics)) but were eventually bought out by the Veeblefetzer Corp - hence the current name. In case anyone was wondering. Strange Item,-- I read on the internet last night that Hobbes was actually still alive and that the current “Death Ray” market is still influenced by his presence in the inner circles of the “Death Ray” market. If this is true that would put him at over 100 years old. Any truth to this? Where was his body buried? I want to see the death certificate!! ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/542 "2003-09-04T20:36:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*… > Really, for what his estimated street price of the unit is, one could buy a cheap Tuvian built death ray, with a burned out flux-capacitor off of eBay, replace the flux-capacitor with a high quality Cadet DD 24.5 flux-capacitor, a Hawking Standing Wave Generator, some OLCD displays, make your own carbon fiber panels, _save_ some $10,000 over his cost, and have slightly more powerful unit. Plus, since Tuvian-built units have known issues with them, you won’t have any surprises when you whip the unit out and instead of getting a satisfying “BZZZZZZZAP!” out of it, getting a mortifying “flurple.” Which, as I’m sure we all know can be anti-climatic in a “heat of the moment” situation. > … > \*\* Tuckerfan, Tuvian-built units: Known Issues Guns and Ammo, Sept 1960, pp 65-79, 82-85 "…The Aldron Suppressor was to allow a user to regulate the discharge on this style “Death Ray”. Developed by Dr. Henry Aldron, the “double trigger” was designed to allow the user to pull the first trigger to adjust the power before pulling the second trigger to fire. This combination seemed practical to our testers when one said, “…rather save some juice for the next target than wait for a recharge…” This option was quickly shot down when the functionality was affected by the tester releazing that a simultaneous pull rendered the gun useless. The power source would cause an internal dispersion and overload the Concordian directional beam array." I guess there was alot of “flurple” that day. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/543 "2003-09-04T21:18:07Z")
and a few Fnords too I’ll bet ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/544 "2003-09-04T21:32:09Z")
Does anyone have a spare Bendix Coil for my Mahoney JX-50? ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/545 "2003-09-04T22:40:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*Does anyone have a spare Bendix Coil for my Mahoney JX-50? \*\* I will not help you on this **Michael Ellis** , if all you intend to use it for is > [@](#): > > “…rule the world!! HA! HA! HA!” ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/546 "2003-09-04T22:49:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Hey! I just checked, and you _can_ still get [Jolt Cola!](http://www.wetplanet.com/jolt/index.html) \*\* I’m drinking it right now! Uh…to eliminate ignorance, don’t ya know? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/547 "2003-09-04T23:42:28Z")
I need to know–what is the best model/specification of 1920’s style Death Ray for eliminating giant ants? Like they had in Santa Clara? In 1950? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/548 "2003-09-05T00:06:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\* > Strange Item,-- I read on the internet last night that Hobbes was actually still alive and that the current “Death Ray” market is still influenced by his presence in the inner circles of the “Death Ray” market. If this is true that would put him at over 100 years old. > Any truth to this? Where was his body buried? I want to see the death certificate!! \*\* Prof. Hobbes, according to his autobiography, the biography by Watterson, and Cuyahoga County records, was born in Cleveland, in September (don’t have exact date on my right now), 1885. He died on February 8, 1967, in Palo Alto, California, of heart failure. The Santa Clara County Clerk has his death certificate. His body was shipped back to Cleveland, and he was buried on February 17th, with his (third) wife and (legitimate) children present. The confusion might come from the fact that one of his grandchildren is a promenent death-ray dealer in Ohio. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/549 "2003-09-05T00:36:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*Prof. Hobbes, according to his autobiography, the biography by Watterson, and Cuyahoga County records, was born in Cleveland, in September (don’t have exact date on my right now), 1885. He died on February 8, 1967, in Palo Alto, California, of heart failure. The Santa Clara County Clerk has his death certificate. His body was shipped back to Cleveland, and he was buried on February 17th, with his (third) wife and (legitimate) children present. The confusion might come from the fact that one of his grandchildren is a promenent death-ray dealer in Ohio. \*\* Of course, the uncontestable fact that Hobbes was experimenting with the electrical re-animation of dead tissue may not be entirely irrelavant. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/550 "2003-09-05T00:41:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*Of course, the uncontestable fact that Hobbes was experimenting with the electrical re-animation of dead tissue may not be entirely irrelavant. \*\* True, but the fact that 1) he hadn’t finished the device, 2) was suffering from termnial cancer, and 3) had (as hinted above) personal reasons for wanting to be dead, as well as the animosity of B,C, & B’s prinicpals. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/551 "2003-09-05T02:04:32Z")
The research of H West demonstrated that Hobbes’ revivification device would not have worked even if it had been completed. Many cranks have made much of the odd coffin in which Hobbes was buried. There are even claims that it was actually a working model of his reanimation chamber. These absurd stories persist depsite the facts being readily available. Originally, he had intended his entire coffin to function as a sled. Rather than pallbearers, his coffin was to be launched down a hill. It would gather speed, jump a precisely built ramp, and land in his grave. Unfortunately, the cemetery did not trust that this could be accomplished. They insisted that things would get out of control, the coffin would skip the track, or land in the wrong place etc. The engineering students who were in charge of Hobbes’ final ride offered demonstrations, mathematical proofs, and even filed a law suit. None of it did any good. The Gravedio Flyer was altered. The rails and radio activated controls were removed. The coffin was enlarged slightly, allowing Hobbes’ boyhood sled to fit beneath him in the coffin. ``` His epitaph reads "A rope in my hands, a friend at my back, the wind in my ears, this is my heaven." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/552 "2003-09-05T02:54:24Z")
The problem with Hobbes’ burial plans, in addition to what **DocCathode** said, was that it was originally ment for a graveyard in Cleveland that had to be closed in the mid-1950’s due to urban renewal. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/553 "2003-09-05T04:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frixxxx \* > \*\*I will not help you on this **Michael Ellis** , if all you intend to use it for is > > > [@](#): > > > > “…rule the world!! HA! HA! HA!” > > \*\* 'Twas only a jest, I assure you. A joke to bump the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/554 "2003-09-05T09:45:17Z")
Spare Bendix Coil… Anyone? Anyone at all? ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/555 "2003-09-05T09:49:55Z")
i was gone a few days and not only is this thread still around and have inspired a web site, it made someone change their username… ah, the 1920s style death rays must be something. ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/556 "2003-09-05T11:20:49Z")
There’s a website? Gotta link? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/557 "2003-09-05T11:33:31Z")
Bendix Coil, please? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/558 "2003-09-05T13:12:23Z")
Sadly, I ran out of Bendix Coils last Saturday, and I’m not getting another shipment of them until next Thursday. How about a Rubenstein Coil? ---
**Author:** ![frixxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@frixxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frixxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/559 "2003-09-05T14:16:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*Sadly, I ran out of Bendix Coils last Saturday, and I’m not getting another shipment of them until next Thursday. > How about a Rubenstein Coil? \*\* I’d like to warn you about your shipment of Bendix coils **GQ**. If my sources are correct, they’re coming from Mexico, there has been an issue wit the polarity being reversed do to a quality check not documented. Approximately 350 coils are affected. Now, the way to test this is to insert the positive marked end into a standard 110V outlet, next press your tongue to the negative end, if the sensation is the same as a nine-volt battery test (I’m sure you’ve done this since you were eight), then you can use it. However, if there is no sensation or you are knocked unconcious, the Coil is bad and should be returned. I understand a press release is being issued to cover this. \*\* Michael Ellis, \*\* Glad to hear you were joking… So was I…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/560 "2003-09-05T16:38:06Z")
Rubensteins are no good. Mahoney Corporation death rays were designed for Bendix Coils only. I hear some people have modified them to use Fitzgerald Coils (Lake, “Custom Death Rays”, June 1957), but they have a high incidence of backfiring (McGoohan & Drake, “Death Rays & Ammo”, April 1992.) In any case, Fitzgerald Coils are now extremely hard to find. I can wait, however. I still have a working (but rather unwieldy) Enfield T-43 I can use until the Mahoney is fixed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=29)