# Are scalar weapons for real? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 4, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879 "2003-08-04T12:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/841 "2003-10-15T15:41:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > \*\*What is the point of such a thing? I mean mean sure, if I’m Magneto I could use my powers to construct a death ray with no moving parts, but what would be the point you know? If I had that kind of power I’m sure there are far easier ways to dispatch my foes. > > Death-rays are nothing if not practical weapons of mass death. \*\* MonkeyMule, you ignorant slut. What is the point of Michelangelo’s murals on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Sure, a few coats of Dutchboy would be more efficient. But that ignores the value of such a great work of art. A truly great Death Ray isn’t simply functional. It is beautiful. Even inspirational. Look at the works of Tucker, Earl, or Fuller. Their automobile designs were not only improvements of function. They were works of art. You, sir, are what’s wrong with America today. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/842 "2003-10-15T17:37:11Z")
DC, I we are of one mind here. however I feel a death ray with no moiving parts is just to far, its just to much. There has to be a line, and if I can’t fell the power of life in death in my hands, then I don’t want it at all! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/843 "2003-10-15T17:52:02Z")
Are scalar weapons for real? ( 1 2 3 4 5 … **Last page** ) False advertising, I say. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/844 "2003-10-15T23:35:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > \*\*Its just crazy enough to work! \*\* :dubious: Maybe on _Star Trek_ where reversing the polarity and/or rerouting through the main deflector dish will solve _any_ problem. (Data: Captain! Barclay’s locked himself in the holodeck with the _Olsen Twins Do The Planet of the Amazons_ program! He’s using up all the ship’s computing power! Picard: Have you tried breaking down the door? Worf: I hurt my shoulder. Picard: All right, Geordi, reroute the doctor’s Viagra Ray from sickbay through the main deflector dish and into the holodeck. La Forge: But won’t that just enable him to stay in there longer, sir? Picard: Not if you reverse the polarity, you idiot! Do I have to think of everything on this ship? Where’s that little twerp Wesley when you need him?) A simpler solution would be to switch the emitter with the “wide” nozzle from any cake decorating kit. Gives you a nice, flat beam that’s broad enough to devistate a small city. Not that _I_ would know anything about that! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/845 "2003-10-16T00:15:40Z")
I forget, but does MIT still have the Calvin Professorship, in honor of Professor Calvin’s years of instruction? ---
**Author:** ![VernWinterbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c67d28/32.png) [@VernWinterbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VernWinterbottom)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/846 "2003-10-16T00:44:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*I forget, but does MIT still have the Calvin Professorship, in honor of Professor Calvin’s years of instruction? \*\* Prof. Calvin was, as you know, researching and teaching in areas of scalar weapons, death rays and tobogganing between the years of 1936 and 1958. During some of this time, Calvin was at the Round Hill estate of Colonel Edward Howland Robinson Green (son of Hetty Green) in South Dartmouth, MA. At Round Hill, he not only got to experiment with Death Rays, he also got to tool around in the Goodyear blimp, which was housed at Green’s hangar. The Calvin Professorship no longer exists, but his toboggan was bronzed and is sometimes brought out for winter carnivals in Cambridge. His toboggan’s name was “Death Ray.” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/847 "2003-10-16T01:19:15Z")
Darn. How about the Dr. Hobbes Professorship at Ohio State? ---
**Author:** ![VernWinterbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c67d28/32.png) [@VernWinterbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VernWinterbottom)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/848 "2003-10-16T01:22:21Z")
I think Ohio State’s going to build a Hobbes _campus_. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/849 "2003-10-16T02:18:50Z")
Where will it be built? Cleveland, his home town, or Columbus, where he was an instructor? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/850 "2003-10-16T02:30:00Z")
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.” ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/851 "2003-10-16T02:30:00Z")
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.” ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/852 "2003-10-16T02:30:11Z")
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.” ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/853 "2003-10-16T02:30:11Z")
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/854 "2003-10-16T02:30:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by VernWinterbottom \* > \*\*Prof. Calvin was, as you know, researching and teaching in areas of scalar weapons, death rays and tobogganing between the years of 1936 and 1958. During some of this time, Calvin was at the Round Hill estate of Colonel Edward Howland Robinson Green (son of Hetty Green) in South Dartmouth, MA. At Round Hill, he not only got to experiment with Death Rays, he also got to tool around in the Goodyear blimp, which was housed at Green’s hangar. \*\* I seem to recall that Prof. Calvin’s time in the blimp was spent doing “experiments” which involved the consumption of large amounts of alcohol, followed by randomly firing his transmorgifier at persons on the ground… The locals didn’t seem to approve of these “experiments” for some strange reason… **GQ** , being from Columbus (well, near enough, anyway) I can tell you that it’s highly unlikely that they’d build a Hobbes campus there. Large chunks of Columbus are already taken up by OSU, so if the university were to try and take over more, well, the howls of protest would be as loud as when Michigan wins. Cleveland, OTH, is dangerously close to Michigan, **but** if they’re going to continue Prof. Hobbes work, then I don’t think too many Buckeyes will get bent out of shape over that. (Provided the experiments are conduction _in_ Michigan! 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![VernWinterbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c67d28/32.png) [@VernWinterbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VernWinterbottom)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/855 "2003-10-16T02:43:20Z")
Plans are still up in the air, I hear, but they’re leaning toward Cleveland. **Tuckerfan** , you’re right about Prof. Calvin’s “experiments.” The old timers around here always talk about A) The Hurricane of '38 and B) the Great Blimp Scare. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/856 "2003-10-16T02:43:43Z")
Yes, **Ilsa** , we covered that some 18 pages ago. (Nice quadruple post, though.) ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/857 "2003-10-16T02:48:20Z")
“Death-Rays” Jerky “DEATH” THEN A HYPEN THEN “RAYS”. AM I going to have to start poping heads to get some results around here? ---
**Author:** ![Bewildebeest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bewildebeest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bewildebeest)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/858 "2003-10-16T04:14:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > \*\*“Death-Rays” Jerky “DEATH” THEN A HYPEN THEN “RAYS”. AM I going to have to start poping heads to get some results around here? \*\* I think you have to be a member of the College of Cardinals to start poping heads. ---
**Author:** ![Rodrigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Rodrigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodrigo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/859 "2003-10-16T04:50:12Z")
I’ll go with what someone said like a gazillion pages ago, i.e. death-rays are usually less efective than an AK-47 or a good(unless of course we’re talking about 1920’s style Death-Rays) and you can’t shoot something behind a wall, which you can by throwing rocks at him. * * * > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*:dubious: Maybe on _Star Trek_ where reversing the polarity and/or rerouting through the main deflector dish will solve _any_ problem. \*\* Did the deflector dish do anything aside from being fudged with? * * * ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879/860 "2003-10-16T05:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rodrigo \* > Did the deflector dish do anything aside from being fudged with? It moved particles out of the path of the ship when it was under impulse power. Yeah I read the Enterprise-D’s technical manual SO WHAT! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-scalar-weapons-for-real/192879.md?page=44)