# Are tattoos a requirement in today's dating circles?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 4, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741 "2012-03-04T19:30:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/21 "2012-03-05T02:32:03Z")

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I’d imagine that not having a tatto is the sign of being a true non-conformist nowadays.

My second son’s GF has a large tatto on her back. She spent months designing it and considering it and it has great meaning to her as a symbol of a good friend who died by suicide, to her life, not to her death. She considers it a work still in progress. I very much respect that.

My wife spent months working with someone designing a small one, sort of a mandala design, for her shoulder for her 50th birthday; her present to herself. Unless something is going on I don’t know about it wasn’t to attract anyone and she knew that I am at best neutral on the subject with a very slight distate for them if anything.

So far neither of my two adult sons (or teen aged son, or, of course, 10 year old daughter) have any. The adult sons have had no problems developing serious romantic relationships. They may get ones in the future, or not, but if they do I will mock them if they get ones that have no significant meaning to them.

But then they have always been their own people.

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**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/22 "2012-03-05T03:14:15Z")

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> [@ladyfoxfyre](#):
>
> No. It says more about the circles he runs with and the types of women he’s trying to screw if it’s very difficult to get laid without a tattoo.

This.

Your co-worker is a moron.

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**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/23 "2012-03-05T03:14:48Z")

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Good news for you, **Crafter\_Man**. As a woman in your age bracket who has been in and out of the dating scene for the past few years, you aren’t uncommon among guys of your generation.

About 50% of the guys who I have corresponded with through online dating sites thought tats on a woman were a dealbreaker (this is where I had to say “see ya”). Around 70% didn’t have one.

From a woman’s perspective, I like well done tats on the right guy, but they aren’t necessary. The first time the Fella saw my tat, it surprised him, but he kind of likes it now. He has none.

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**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/24 "2012-03-05T03:23:02Z")

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I’m 22, and while tattoos are becoming pretty common, they’re certainly not required. A good tattoo can certainly add to a girl’s cuteness (or a whatever image she wants to project) if done well, but I think there’s still a small taboo in other circles (I know a lot of my friends eye roll at tattoos).

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**Author:** ![codgerone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@codgerone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/codgerone)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/25 "2012-03-05T17:32:15Z")

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I was running with bikers in my late teens/early twenties and there was certainly peer pressure to have tattoos - it was like you were not committed to the cause if you didn’t. I don’t think it helped me get laid though.

Mine are just on my forearms so can be covered up when it’s appropriate, i.e. job interviews, appearing in court etc.

I personally don’t like to see lots of tattoos on women. In my younger days I occasionally went out with a girl who had a small tattoo, maybe a butterfly or heart but anyway something small and discreet that only a lover would see. Nowadays I see young girls with their arms covered in them. It’s just a turn off for me.

Then again, at my age I’m sure to be a turn off for them. ☹

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**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/26 "2012-03-05T17:48:34Z")

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> [@Crafter\_Man](#):
>
> ..So a young male’s chance of getting laid is much higher if he sports tattoos? …

And probably even higher if he’s sporting something else.

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**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/27 "2012-03-05T17:52:16Z")

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I’m a straight guy and tattoos on women are a turn-off. I’m so seriously.

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**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/28 "2012-03-05T18:06:08Z")

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As someone once said, “a woman with a tattoo on the small of her back is a woman capable of making bad decisions.” (Hence “easy.”)

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**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/29 "2012-03-06T18:24:55Z")

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The OP got me thinking about all my college friends (I graduated 2 years ago) and a huge proportion of them are engineers, which I definitely never realized.

But nary a one has a tat and I doubt they run in circles with people with tats.

Once they got their first “real” job after college, they segregated into two groups by sex.

The girls all have nicer apartments and wear nicer clothes than they did in undergrad (Ann Taylor and White House/Black Market and Jcrew retail, up from the sales racks of Banana Republic and Jcrew and Kohls).

And the boys? The boys all drive (leased) Infinitis or Acuras. The odd bird drives a Subaru WRX or a Jeep Cherokee.

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**Author:** ![Trom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/30 "2012-03-06T19:06:56Z")

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> [@lindsaybluth](#):
>
> The OP got me thinking about all my college friends (I graduated 2 years ago) and a huge proportion of them are engineers, which I definitely never realized.
> 
> But nary a one has a tat and I doubt they run in circles with people with tats.
> 
> Once they got their first “real” job after college, they segregated into two groups by sex.
> 
> The girls all have nicer apartments and wear nicer clothes than they did in undergrad (Ann Taylor and White House/Black Market and Jcrew retail, up from the sales racks of Banana Republic and Jcrew and Kohls).
> 
> And the boys? The boys all drive (leased) Infinitis or Acuras. The odd bird drives a Subaru WRX or a Jeep Cherokee.

Run in circles with people with tats? :rolleyes:

Wouldn’t want to associate with the doctors, lawyers, scientists, and other young professionals now, would we?

I’m 28 and I barely notice tattoos amongst my young professional friends. It’s a complete non-issue.

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/31 "2012-03-06T19:16:54Z")

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> [@Crafter\_Man](#):
>
> Perhaps it’s because of my age (44), but tattoos don’t really do anything for me.

I’m 10 years your senior, and I’m gradually running out of blank skin.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/32 "2012-03-06T19:47:10Z")

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> [@Crafter\_Man](#):
>
> \<snip\>  
> We recently hired a young engineer in our lab, and he mentioned he had a tattoo on his back and on his right arm. I asked him why so many young people have tattoos, and he said (my paraphrasing), “Women find tattoos attractive. It’s hard to get laid without them.”\<snip\>

I think you have to consider the source here - an engineer. Last I checked, they weren’t known for being socially aware and hip and cool. 🙂

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**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/33 "2012-03-06T20:31:13Z")

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> [@Trom](#):
>
> Wouldn’t want to associate with the doctors, lawyers, scientists, and other young professionals now, would we?

> [@Trom](#):
>
> I’m 28 and I barely notice tattoos amongst my young professional friends. It’s a complete non-issue.

One of these things is not like the other.

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**Author:** ![Trom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/34 "2012-03-06T21:09:21Z")

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> [@lindsaybluth](#):
>
> One of these things is not like the other.

Notice, as in, care one way or the other.

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**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/35 "2012-03-06T22:31:16Z")

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I’m a 26 year old female and I dislike tattoos. Having one wouldn’t be a dealbreaker right off the bat (depending on what it is and where it is) but it does lower my interest. I’m not utterly repulsed at the sight of them, especially since where I live it’s rarer to not have tattoos, but it was never very appealing to me.

Back in college I thought about getting one. I even spent time creating a design and put a lot of thought into it. But since moving back home where everyone and their mother (and MY mother!) has one, it kind of lost all appeal of uniqueness I thought it once had. Around here, it’s just something people do when they get bored.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/36 "2012-03-07T01:24:38Z")

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> [@nikonikosuru](#):
>
> \<snip\> But since moving back home where everyone and their mother (and MY mother!) has one, it kind of lost all appeal of uniqueness I thought it once had. Around here, it’s just something people do when they get bored.

Heh; at this point, “uniqueness” would be way down the list of reasons to get a tattoo. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/37 "2012-03-07T02:34:38Z")

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I don’t have one. I don’t plan on getting one. I’ve never seriously dated a guy with one. While it’s not necessarily dealbreaker if a guy does have one, it’s also not a mark in the plus column either.

It is almost a dealbreaker though. Something obtrusive or ugly or stupid is going to express to me that he is stupid and lacking foresight.

I’m also pretty liberal and had a facial piercing before they were cool. I love temporary tattoos. Most of my friends have them and a big chunk of my family.

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**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/38 "2012-03-07T02:41:07Z")

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> [@ladyfoxfyre](#):
>
> No. It says more about the circles he runs with and the types of women he’s trying to screw if it’s very difficult to get laid without a tattoo.

This, again.

Amongst my circle, and even a few years ago, when I was out of undergrad… No. I’ve seen tattoos, but most of the people who have them in the circles I run usually have tattoos that can be covered up.

I’ve been with someone with tattoos. He didn’t like them much, called them something to a “youthful mistake”. They were not big, and certainly when I first noticed them, I was not going to stop the evening just because of that.

Most of my coworkers (even some of my bosses) have tattoos. They all have them in places nobody notices when they’re wearing business or working clothes.

I do have a former classmate who had very noticeable tattoos. Again, though, if she wears long sleeves or a doctor’s jacket (which she would at work), nobody would notice.

And most of my circles revolve around health professions and sciences.

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**Author:** ![breaking-reality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a8b319/32.png) [@breaking-reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaking-reality)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/39 "2012-03-07T15:50:46Z")

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I’m 25, female, and don’t have any tattoos myself. I don’t find that tattoos make someone any more, or less, attractive. Nor does it make me any more inclined to be interested in sleeping with them.

It can be an interesting conversation starter, depending what the reasoning is behind the tattoo. Then of course there are people with such tattoos as the girl who had pink lips tattooed onto her neck which I noticed when I was waiting in line at Bread Co. this week, who I would never dream of asking the reason behind it. Mostly for fear I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face.

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**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-tattoos-a-requirement-in-todays-dating-circles/614741/40 "2012-03-07T17:04:50Z")

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I think the question in the OP has been answered. So I’ll use the space here to mention Science Ink, a book about science-related tatoos on scientists. A summary of the book is [here](http://carlzimmer.com/books/scienceink/index.html). And 26 webpages of science tatoo pics collected by the author (Carl Zimmer) is [here](http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom/science-tattoo-emporium/).

My favorite is the scorpion that only shows up under UV light.

> [@lindsaybluth](#):
>
> . . . college . . . engineers . . . after college . . . The girls all have nicer apartments and wear nicer clothes than they did in undergrad (Ann Taylor and White House/Black Market and Jcrew retail, up from the sales racks of Banana Republic and Jcrew and Kohls).
> 
> And the boys? The boys all drive (leased) Infinitis or Acuras. The odd bird drives a Subaru WRX or a Jeep Cherokee.

That reminds me of a comment made by an environmental engineering grad student in a group of EEGSes at a party. (I was a re-entry undergrad working in the EnvE lab.) She said that one of the differences between boy engineers and girl engineers was that a girl engineer would swat a fly on the wall, and then get a tissue and clean the remains off the wall. A boy engineer would swat a fly on the wall and leave the carcass there, as if he were proud to have a hunting trophy.

So like **Cat Whisperer** said - you don’t necessarily want to accept an engineer’s judgement on what’s hip or socially acceptable.

I’m old enough that when I was a child, tatoos were wrinkly, sagging blotches on old people. They were also mostly black, with a little dark blue. So unless a tat is looking really crisp, I always see it blurring and sagging, in my minds eye.

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