# Are the French really rude? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 8, 2010, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676 "2010-03-08T01:09:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/41 "2010-03-09T04:48:32Z")
> [@Disheavel](#): > > I agree with nearly everyone above- if you try to be polite to them (i.e. start in French, excuse yourself before speaking, know general concepts [numbers \< 10, bread, water, cheese], and dress casually- not like an American tourist. They will go out of their way to be polite and helpful. > I had the experience of being in a bakery and the ‘loud middle aged American man wearing shorts and woman wearing a gaudy sweatshirt’ ordered two croissants and coffee in English and their bill came to 14 Euro. I stepped up and ordered, in my best attempted French, a baguette, 4 croissants, a couple of other pastries and 2 coffees and my total came to 9 Euro. When they asked the salesclerk, “Do you speak English?”, she shook her head no. So it surprised me when she told me my total and wished me a good day in perfect English. > The couple hadn’t left the store yet, but I doubt they understood the interaction in the slightest. > They don’t respect you if you don’t respect them. So…what was it that was so disrespectful here that you get overcharged out of sheer contempt? Loud? middle aged? badly dressed? or not speaking French? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/42 "2010-03-09T05:06:43Z")
I lived in Europe for eight years and made many business and touring trips to France. I was never treated with disrespect, nor was I treated rudely. The French (and yes, even the Parisians) were uniformly polite, or at worst, a bit distant. The myth of French rudeness baffles me, and is usually propagated by people who have never visited the place, talked to the people, or speak a word of French. I’ve been treated far worse in America for certain. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/43 "2010-03-09T05:22:44Z")
My only time in France I was treated rudely once … By a Brit. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/44 "2010-03-09T06:24:24Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > So…what was it that was so disrespectful here that you get overcharged out of sheer contempt? Loud? middle aged? badly dressed? or not speaking French? It sounds like they asked the clerk if the spoke English _in English_ without even attempting to speak French (even a badly pronounced stock phrase). _That_ does sound rude. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/45 "2010-03-09T07:04:09Z")
I had one rude experience in France, from a waiter, but for the most part people were not noticeably ruder than any other big city. I actually found Londoners in general a lot crankier than Parisians. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/46 "2010-03-09T07:37:09Z")
Echoing the consensus: the French were a bit more formal than what I was used to, but they were still polite, and they were patient with my many feeble attempts at high school French. I’ve only been to France once, but I never came across anyone who was stereotypically snobbish. Be polite, say your pleases and thank yous, learn a couple French words, and you should be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/47 "2010-03-09T07:44:23Z")
I don’t recall ever being treated rudely in France. I would say the opposite, that it seemed that people put an effort into being polite to me and each other. Although it would be silly to say that one city/country is ruder than another, I would have to say that I have experienced/witnessed a higher average of “rude events” per 24 hour period in New York than any other city that I have visited. Almost all events are shopkeepers being rude to customers and vice versa. As long as you are not exchanging money/services, people seem to get along. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/48 "2010-03-09T07:45:26Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > So…what was it that was so disrespectful here that you get overcharged out of sheer contempt? Loud? middle aged? badly dressed? or not speaking French? Not making any attempt at speaking French and being demanding; if they gave their orders the way your average American does it, it sounded horribly snotty and entitled to the French. A simple “pardon moi” does wonders - and speak in your indoors voice! I know parts of Spain where you get different prices depending on whether you speak a) English or German, b) French, c) Spanish, d) the local language. Half of it is “you’re in my house, why can’t you be bothered to learn to say ‘hello’ properly,” half of it is the mannerisms. What’s “to the point” for an American or a German is brusque to a Southern European. Saying “hello” in Spanish or the local language gets you better prices than dumping your shopping on the desk and saying “hey”. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/49 "2010-03-09T08:24:18Z")
The only people I found to be rude in France were waiters, and not even all of them. And it wasn’t even really rudeness, so much as…distance, I guess. For sure, French waiters will not come up and give you their name and tell you they’ll be your waiter tonight. The lady who threw me out of the boutique at lunchtime (because they were closing) could have been a little more polite, but I wouldn’t say she was rude. Apparently I walked in about two minutes before they closed, a place being closed during the lunch hour was an odd idea to me. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/50 "2010-03-09T16:20:36Z")
I think it’s terrible to stereotype! People in Paris were fine to me, as long as I simply attempted to speak their language. I now return you to our regularly scheduled stereotype. The northern _Germans_ on the other hand… Such an odd country, Germany. Southern Germany has the nicest people on the planet. But the further north you go, the worse they get. By the time you reach Hamburg, you hope they just throw dog shit at you, since you know they want to throw knives. I wasn’t surprised when I heard that the 9/11 terrorists came from there. Hamburg had clearly rubbed off on them. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/51 "2010-03-09T18:28:58Z")
My experience in France was that as long as we were polite and there were no problems, the people were polite in return. It was when something went wrong that I felt the people I was dealing with had zero sense of customer service in the same way we expect it here. This happened on more than one occasion, but the prime example was a screwup in our hotel arrangements. We contacted the Paris agent with whom our U.S. agent had made the booking, and when we said, “Excuse me, please, but there seems to be a problem here,” you would have thought we were asking for something completely ridiculous. We were all but told to shut up and just go away. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/52 "2010-03-09T18:46:09Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Such an odd country, Germany. Southern Germany has the nicest people on the planet. But the further north you go, the worse they get. By the time you reach Hamburg, you hope they just throw dog shit at you, since you know they want to throw knives. I wasn’t surprised when I heard that the 9/11 terrorists came from there. Hamburg had clearly rubbed off on them. I would agree that in general the southern parts of Germany are indeed more relaxed and informal than the northern parts, but everyone who I encountered in Hamburg were uber polite and helpful (and I dont speak any German except for a few basic phrases) to me, and were not rude in the least!!! Too bad you didnt have the same experience… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/53 "2010-03-09T18:46:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve heard somewhere that New Yorkers specifically are rude even by US standards. Many of my friends who’ve been to New York have confirmed this. > [@](#): > > And even if that was true, would that stop you visiting New York? No, but it might make me cautious when doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/54 "2010-03-09T19:51:15Z")
Our experiences visiting the US has made me wary of stereotyping any country - the different parts of the US we’ve visited have all been at least slightly different from other parts (and sometimes quite a bit different). You can’t go too wrong assuming that no one in a service industry position is trying to be rude to you; what sounds rude to us (the American “uh huh” instead of “you’re welcome”) is just a local custom. I’m sure there have been things we’ve done that were interpreted as rude from the other side - probably not being overly friendly and forthcoming, if I had to guess. ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/55 "2010-03-09T19:59:36Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > So…what was it that was so disrespectful here that you get overcharged out of sheer contempt? Loud? middle aged? badly dressed? or not speaking French? I think it was being loud and effectively rude- expecting someone in a foreign country to speak your language while not attempting to communicate in their language is just obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/56 "2010-03-09T20:10:34Z")
Other people upthread have done a great job of giving examples of how to act when in Paris. I think it can be summed up like this: In Paris, you are the guest, and it is a priviledge to be there and be served by the people who own the shops or work in the businesses you are visiting. This is not a bad thing by any stretch, but it changes the dynamic of customer service. To an American accustomed to “the customer is always right” the French may seem rude and unaccomidating. To a Parisian, an American barking orders and expecting special attention is equally rude. Be polite, be respectful, and be grateful for the service you receive and you’ll get along great with the people over there. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/57 "2010-03-09T22:04:16Z")
Customer service in France isn’t rude, just… different (according to the [Beeb](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/8500246.stm)). Besides, they couldn’t compare to the Spanish, who are without a doubt a bunch of cocks. Every Spaniard in my life whom I have had the misfortune to meet, has been a cock. A big, wanky, cruddy cock. Every other European country has produced a mixed bag for me to bump into, but mostly pleasant. Spain, what’s your problem? ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/58 "2010-03-09T22:21:33Z")
Hm. I wonder what they thought of you. Every Spaniard I’ve ever met has been lovely. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/59 "2010-03-09T22:35:09Z")
With all the usual caveats (this is just my opinion, etc.), I have never been as poorly treated as a tourist as I was when I spent a week in Paris. I always make an attempt to learn a few fundamentals of the language when I visit somewhere. For the most part, people seem to appreciate the effort. Dredging up my junior high French, worked for me in Belgium, Switzerland, and Quebec, but it was treated with derision in Paris. I prefaced everything I did by explaining I spoke French only a little bit, but that didn’t help. Waiters ignored us while taking care of other tables, people turned and walked away when I asked polite questions (in French), and I was generally made to feel unwelcome. The worst was when I went into a shop and attempted to ask about one of the items they had for sale. The clerks, it seemed, couldn’t understand a word I said. I asked if either of them spoke English, and they said no. As I left, one turned to the other and _in English_, said “Fucking American tourists.” Paris has some awesome sights to see, but I have no desire to ever return. As I said, I’ve traveled to a fair number of countries (probably 20) in Europe, Asia, and North America, and I’ve been treated well everywhere else, so I really don’t think the problem is me. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676/60 "2010-03-09T23:41:52Z")
As a native New Yorker I too may have a different standard of what “rudeness” is (more on this later), but I spent 2 weeks in Paris on his honeymoon pre-armed with about 3 years worth of French classes, and was treated fairly well. I can understand with some people being sensitive about being replied to in English when you start a conversation in French, but I got very little of that – in fact by the end of my 2 week stint, what had started out as a wonderfully language immersive experience devolved somewhat (on my part) into a kind of mental exhaustion. I mean, I was there on vacation, and instead was starting to feel like I was tailing off at the end of a 300+ hour long oral quiz. My only negative experience was one time when I went around looking for a public restroom, as I suddenly Really Had To Go. I guess ducking into even a very casual seeming restaurant (what I took to be a bar) asking to use the bathroom is Not Done in Paris. The bartender told me (in French) that the restrooms were for customers only, and a waiter pulled out the fold-up street map I had of Paris in my rear pocket (no doubt a mark of the tourist, combined with my accent) and handed it to me, saying something like “I think you dropped this” and in a familiar way at that (“_Ah, tu l’as laissé tomber?_”). I stared back at him and sarcastically but probably ungrammatically thanked him for being so helpful to someone in distress, and left (he didn’t seem very abashed). Eventually I found a pay toilet on a street corner. I didn’t know they existed, they don’t in the US, so maybe it was one of those cultural lines that I crossed. Heck maybe they were marked on the map with some symbol had I recognized it. As for “New Yorker rudeness”, there is a great deal of casual talk or help among complete strangers in NYC – but you do have to establish some kind of rapport first. The worst thing you can EVER do to a New Yorker In Motion is to try to stop them in their tracks, or to flag someone down. First, it’s an invasion of private space; second, you’re potentially wasting my time; and finally, most of the time this happens it’s from someone looking to push something onto me I don’t want, or is going to ask me for money to scam me in some way, or at least that’s the first thing I’ll think of. To get directions in NYC, wait at a crosswalk until the light is red and people cluster around. Find someone who doesn’t have iPod earbuds plugged in, make eye contact first, smile, and then say, “Hey, excuse me… Am I going the right way to get to \ or \?” You will not only likely get an answer, but you may even get two different New Yorkers to get into an impromptu debate on the most efficient route to get there, especially if it involves taking a bus or subway! (“Are you nuts, don’t take the bus, just take the 6 train…” “what about changing for the express train at Grand Central…” “yabbut don’t confuse the lady, she’s from outta town.”) Back in the days of subway tokens, you would probably get someone to sell you (or outright give you) a token or two. Then when the traffic allows them to cross the street (doesn’t matter what the traffic light says), they’ll disappear into the city and you’ll never see them again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-the-french-really-rude/531676.md?page=4)