Are the only "successful" marriages the ones that end in death?

[JoelUpchurch]

@CrazyCatLady

@JoelUpchurch

If you aren’t planning on having children, then why get a piece of paper from the government to give you a license to do what you were already doing? As far as I can tell, there are a lot of unmarried couples that are happy.

Why would you need a piece of paper to have kids? All your parental rights attach regardless of marital status–inheritance, next of kin, tax breaks, the whole nine yards. Of course, it’s easier and more stable for the kids if the parents have automatic rights of inheritance and next of kin for each other. Incidentally, it’s also easier and more stable for childfree couples to have automatic rights of inheritance and next of kin for each other.

I know a couple who have been living together for 23 years and have had three kids together and as far as I know they aren’t legally married. For that matter, I wish my Father hadn’t automatically had the power to make end of life decisions for my Mother. It would be better if such things were handled contractually as much as possible.

[Inigo_Montoya]

Heh…interesting turn of phrase…totally unintentional though.

Are you saying that people who aren’t legally married in the eyes of the state are forgoing significant financial benefits

No, I said “legal rights and privileges” Stuff like (yes) succession of possessions, also the ability to speak for each other in certain medical matters, ability to adopt, eligibility for group health insurance, joint income tax filing, right to the marital privilege in court… Sure, there’s money involved, but money translates directly to lifestyle and, by extension, bonding opportunities like vacations and projects.

we should define the success of a marriage with a balance sheet?

Nope, didn’t say that. But you’re naive if you think the balance sheet doesn’t have a direct impact on the relative happiness of a couple.

[Voyager]

@JoelUpchurch

If you aren’t planning on having children, then why get a piece of paper from the government to give you a license to do what you were already doing? As far as I can tell, there are a lot of unmarried couples that are happy.

No one is claiming that only married couples are happy. However, besides the legal reasons already mentioned, getting married is an inflection point in a relationship, a symbol, and a celebration. And it should show a readiness to try for the long haul.