Sorry I haven’t gotten back to the thread sooner. I didn’t report it to any of the moderators, though I appreciate their stepping in.
I asked the question because whenever I see these things happen I ask myself “how could the guy be so damn stupid, don’t they realize that they’re likely talking to an FBI agent?” My question is what percentage of them are actually talking to the 13-year old girl they think they are, and what percentage are talking to the cops.
Ditto on the “As a freshman in high school…” The majority of the girls in my class were dating guys between 20-25.
My first response to seeing the thread title (not even the text) was to think of the old saw “The Internet. Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are federal agents.” My second thought was, I’m sure there’s a non-zero number but how do you propose to study such a thing?
If nobody was ever successful at making a “scum connection” as it were I doubt that they’d continue trying. I think that the point of a great deal of the publicity that these stories get is trying to plant the seed in these types of peoples minds that every 13 year old girl on the internet is actually a 37 year old FBI agent named Norm.
If such an idea works only once…then it works.
I don’t think it’s a case of girls trolling for older men as much as it’s a case of older men looking for girls. Two my nieces (both well underage) have had older men try to hit on them online and one of them had a guy trying to convince her to meet him. That guy would have been lucky to have been met by the police considering what my brother-in-law’s reaction was when he found out about this.
Hmm. Looks like two examples of assuming the worst and jumping to a wrong conclusion. May I suggest that a little more benefit of the doubt and little less eagerness to pounce would be appropriate here?
I can’t help but think that some girls, upon getting the first nasty solicitation, would begin to pose as a classmate they didn’t like. I don’t know if it has happened anywhere yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some creepy old guy showed up at someone’s house looking for the young girl who lived there all because an angry classmate wanted “revenge.”
Isn’t this supposed to be General Questions?
Failing direct personal knowledge, did no one do a simple Google search?
I cannot attest to the accuracy of the following sites, but each relates multiple reports of sex or attempted sex between an adult and a younger teen that was initiated on the internet:
Internet Predator Chat News Archives from 2004
Internet Predator Chat Nightmares of 2005
Whether any predators nailed in stings had either previous records or had successfully committed earlier crimes undetected, I do not know.
I was a moderator/editor/writer/GM in a text-based internet game (think WoW’s grandmother) for 8 years.
We had a couple of cases of grown-ups behaving inappropiately towards teenagers; for example, a 43yo woman who’d started playing because her son did and she wanted to know what it was about then started hitting on the youngest boys (her son was 16, the youngest one I knew who got assaulted by this woman was 13).
The players ran them off; we simply didn’t know how to go about calling the cops on them or we would have.
Once a cop contacted our head admin about getting some logs to be used as evidence in a case but I don’t know what the case was.
Actually I did, but I got too busy with work to post what I found. A google search for “convicted” “met online” and “years old” revealed a large number of articles about older guys getting busted for meeting actual bona fide teenage girls through the internet.
So yeah, I would say that a significant percentage of the “teenage girls” online are really teenage girls.
From personal experience, I can say that I have a female family member who developed relationships with older guys when she was 14. This was before the days of chatrooms, but I think it’s pretty likely she would have gone that route had it been available.
I think that a lot of girls who are 13, 14, or 15 are rebelious and have some desire to have romantic/sexual relationships. So they are potential prey for middle-aged dudes who like the idea of being with a girl who is that age.
This is what happened in the case of my family member. I was 12 or 13 at the time and at sleepaway camp and I got a call from another family member asking if I knew where this person was. It turned out that she had hopped on a plane and flown 1000 miles to be with her boyfriend or whatever.
I think part of the problem is that many teenage girls have really poor relationships with their parents and they perceive that their parents are trying to control or judge them. So when they meet Mr. Older Guy, he seems really cool and nonjudgmental.
Would a 29 year-old guy chatting to a 17 year-old girl be sleazy? I did that.
I was on Yahoo chat many years ago, and I got a PM from this girl. We chatted a little bit. It was pleasant, and then she told me she was 17. I didn’t freak out, “Oh no, that’s sleazy” but “oh shit, she’s got to be boring” (I definitely DON’T have a thing for younger women/girls).
But we ended up best of friends and chatted for several years until we lost contact. There was never anything beyond genuine friendship, and she was an uber-intelligent Muslim Indian girl from London (in fact I got her to post here a couple of times later on). I was kind of… if I say “older brother”, that does sound sleazy, but that’s what it was. I was there with her through various exams, boyfriends, university applications (I wrote the one that helped get her into Cambridge! 
).
I’d never even thought of it as remotely sleazy until I read this thread, and now it bothers me. I’m sure, if I’d ever tried anything on, she’d have sent me a cyber-karate chop a la Miss Piggy.
But are the men who they claim to be? How many of these real teenage girls are hoping to meet 62-year-old men, and how many think they’re going to meet a 19-year-old named Johnny who writes poetry and is a part-time model (that’s why his profile pic is from a cologne ad, duh)?
ETA: I’ve only seen To Catch a Predator here and there. Regarding the guys coming to the house (and there sure do seem to be a hell of a lot of them. If all they need to turn from fantasizing to pedophile is opportunity, that’s pretty scary), do they send photos first? Do they lie about their age, looks?
I don’t see anything sleazy about your situation. (Perhaps if you had been engaged in chat sex. . . .)
Older person (either sex) befriending younger person (either sex) does not become sleazy unitl sex is included in the equation.
…
And it’s only sleazy if there’s deception or a power imbalance involved. Otherwise, it’s at most icky.
Are there any 13-year old girls seeking sex with older men who are not police agents?
No. 13-year-old girls are only interested in having sex with police officers.
Wasn’t sure if that meant ‘21-year-old’ adult or ‘53 and divorced’ adult. Deception seems to be a major factor in online dating between consenting adults.
I have one ex gf who was 20 years older, and another who was 14 years younger. I seriously don’t think what consenting adults do but I do agree with the deception or control parts of that comment.
on the op’s subject
I work with 15 year old girls, often one on one, while there are quite a few who have older boyfriends the vast majority are typical teenagers who are mostly interested in other teens, it is true that the girls seem to prefer older teens but can you blame them? 15 year old boys are idiots.
I have had a couple experiences with a girl that is definitely inappropriate behavior on their part. In my case I am a teacher and I think its mostly a trust issue. 15 year old girls are getting their asses kicked by puberty and dealing with horny teenage boys so at least some of the time an older guy who they feel they can trust is very attractive to them. yeah it can be a pain in the ass to deal with but that is one line I ain’t even going to cross. I can see where some guys could make that mistake, especially if they are new to the experience. but Trolling for 13 year olds? wtf? who the hell goes LOOKING for that kind of trouble?