# Are there differences in the way men and women speak and write? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983 "2012-08-19T17:40:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bisected8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a4c791/32.png) [@Bisected8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bisected8)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/1 "2012-08-19T17:40:10Z")
I’ve often heard people say that they though someone was male or female from the way they communicated in text form, and been surprised when they found that they were the opposite sex, and I’ve also seen quite a few more successful guesses on the same basis. Naturally, that’s anecdotal. Is there an actual difference in the way men and women speak or write (or at least how they’re perceived to). Has there been any research on it? ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/2 "2012-08-19T17:51:28Z")
> [@Bisected8](#): > > . . . Has there been any research on it? It shouldn’t surprise anyone that there has indeed been a lot of research on this, as well as popular writings, including those of [Deborah Tannen](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deborah_Tannen)–a good place to start. ---
**Author:** ![Lance\_Turbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lance_turbo/32/6156_2.png) [@Lance\_Turbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lance_Turbo)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/3 "2012-08-19T17:57:02Z")
[This page](http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.php) tells me the OP was written by a dude, and explains why it thinks so. ---
**Author:** ![Bisected8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a4c791/32.png) [@Bisected8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bisected8)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/4 "2012-08-19T18:16:28Z")
> [@Lance\_Turbo](#): > > [This page](http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.php) tells me the OP was written by a dude, and explains why it thinks so. Well, it’s correct. Although when I copied in a much longer version of the OP I wrote on another forum (more specifically a writing related forum, where I was asking about writing androgynous characters) it concluded that I was either an informal female (admittedly by a small margin) or a formal male. [This is the post in question, if you’re interested.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13453354810A37310100&page=1#1) ---
**Author:** ![GiantRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@GiantRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GiantRat)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/5 "2012-08-20T18:36:57Z")
Gender norms are tough in writing. Shakespeare, Twain, Whitman, Hemingway… take your pick. They were each perceived as “manly men,” but each composed a lot of effeminate literature. Women, particularly in the past 40 years, tend to write more aggressively (read: “mannish”) in what I suppose is an inculcation of women’s liberation thinking. [That’s an observation, not a judgement]. Among my favorite Twain quotes: “war was intended for men and I for a child’s nurse”; “I put the pistol to my head but wasn’t man enough to pull the trigger.” And, of course, we all know that Hemingway WAS man enough to pull the trigger, but still a tortured soul. A good writer (of fiction, at least) is emotive and understands that men undergo comparable, but different, psychological stressors to women. If you look back at, say Virginia Woolfe, you’d be hard-pressed to find evidence of her being male. Oscar Wilde and (depending on the text in question) James Joyce come across as having feminine writing styles. I’d say that a lot of it comes down to culture/time period. It wasn’t long ago that a PTSD/“shell shock”/“battle fatigue” diagnosis meant that a male combat veteran was psychologically emasculated. We now view these things very differently (in some cases inversely). There is a general tendency for women to write more about emotion, while male authors tend to write about action (huge generalization). But males are also inclined to equate the two - when angry, strike back; when sad, self-destruct; when happy, go “sow your wild oats.” Female writers, on the other hand, have a tendency to pursue some level of tranquility (Kate Chopin’s “Joy That Kills” comes to mind - “Body and soul free!”). There’s also often an underpinning of obligation in texts written by women - protecting a child/husband/parent, or righting a perceived injustice. Male authors tend to describe “righting a wrong” in snippets… short bursts of violent action, where female authors will often dig deeper into the origins of that perceived injustice. All of this is just based on my observations (heck, I was the only male in the Feminine Lit class - sometimes it’s nice to be in the minority 😃 ). One thing worth a try in writing characters of the other gender is to ask someone of that gender if you’re way the hell off-base. It can be rather enlightening (and shorten publication time… and result in “fun time”). ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/6 "2012-08-20T19:03:46Z")
Suggested reading by [Deborah Tannen](http://www.amazon.com/You-Just-Dont-Understand-Conversation/dp/0060959622/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345489383&sr=8-1&keywords=deborah+tannen+you+just+don%27t+understand) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/7 "2012-08-20T19:05:50Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > Suggested reading by [Deborah Tannen](http://www.amazon.com/You-Just-Dont-Understand-Conversation/dp/0060959622/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345489383&sr=8-1&keywords=deborah+tannen+you+just+don%27t+understand) What I was going to recommend. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/8 "2012-08-20T20:07:44Z")
I decided to try out that Gender Guesser, so I copied in this old post: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15180563&postcount=59](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15180563&postcount=59) (The first of mine I came across that seemed long enough.) I am female: Genre: Informal Female = 119 Male = 821 Difference = 702; 87.34% Verdict: MALE * * * Genre: Formal Female = 332 Male = 380 Difference = 48; 53.37% Verdict: Weak MALE Weak emphasis could indicate European. ---
**Author:** ![Lance\_Turbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lance_turbo/32/6156_2.png) [@Lance\_Turbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lance_Turbo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/9 "2012-08-21T00:21:54Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I decided to try out that Gender Guesser, so I copied in this old post: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15180563&postcount=59](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15180563&postcount=59) (The first of mine I came across that seemed long enough.) > > I am female: > > Genre: Informal > Female = 119 > Male = 821 > Difference = 702; 87.34% > Verdict: MALE > > * * * > > Genre: Formal > Female = 332 > Male = 380 > Difference = 48; 53.37% > Verdict: Weak MALE > Weak emphasis could indicate European. Cool story, bro. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/10 "2012-08-21T02:10:55Z")
There are clear differences in Japanese between the genders, although it much more pronounced when spoken (and informally written). It makes it funny to listen to foreign men who learned Japanese from girlfriends or wives. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/11 "2012-08-21T04:24:31Z")
What about _hand writting_? I’ve always found that interesting as well. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/12 "2012-08-21T05:14:33Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > What I was going to recommend. I’ll recommend it a fourth time. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/13 "2012-08-21T06:23:02Z")
> [@tokyobayer](#): > > there are clear differences in japanese between the genders, although it much more pronounced when spoken (and informally written). It makes it funny to listen to foreign men who learned japanese from girlfriends or wives. あたしはおすしが好きの！ ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/14 "2012-08-21T06:25:46Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > What about _hand writting_? I’ve always found that interesting as well. I used to work in a bank and there was a much greater difference on the handwriting based on age rather than gender. You could see when the emphasis went off formal handwriting in schools. Mind you, that was back in the 80’s and I think most of the real copperplate styles will have disappeared. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/15 "2012-08-21T06:41:01Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > What about _hand writting_? I’ve always found that interesting as well. Another interesting, relevant fact about Japanese, while the scripts have different, gender neutral uses nowadays, the writing system hiragana (ex: あ　お　さ) was originally meant for females with its pretty, curvy style, and katakana (ex: ア　オ　サ – same sounds as the ones I presented for hiragana) with its rigid, formal style was for men. Except for official government documents, of course, those were written in something pretty close to Chinese. Both systems of writing are actually **heavily** simplified from Chinese characters that were read phonetically to write Japanese words rather than for their semantic-phonetic meaning, a system called Man’yogana. I’m not even going to attempt to illustrate Man’yogana, it takes a good imagination to see how these characters were derived from their ancestors, even when it’s literally highlighted for you. So handwriting was literally segregated by gender in olden Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/16 "2012-08-21T07:11:59Z")
In Lakhota, the enclitic particles at the end of a declarative sentence tend to be \*kštó \*for women and _yeló_ for men. In Thai, the first-person singular pronoun is _dichan_ for woman and _phom_ for men. Both genders also say _chan_ for the pronoun. The particle at the end of a Thai declarative sentence tends to be \*khâ \* with a falling tone for women and \*khrap \*with a high tone for men. There are many more examples of such enclitic particles in both languages, some of which are used by one gender more than another. The particles themselves don’t get translated as they carry neither lexical nor grammatical meaning. They’re more like a sign of how the speaker feels about what they’re saying or about how they wish it to be taken by the hearer. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/17 "2012-08-22T00:06:01Z")
The late Alice Sheldon wrote under the pen name James Tiptree, and before she was outed as a woman many people swore up and down that the author behind the pseudonym _had_ to be a man. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/18 "2012-08-22T00:53:32Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > The late Alice Sheldon wrote under the pen name James Tiptree, and before she was outed as a woman many people swore up and down that the author behind the pseudonym _had_ to be a man. Yes, I recall that; the sc-fi author Robert Silverberg [managed to embarrass](http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/20/books/review/20Itzkoff.html?pagewanted=all) himself that way. > [@](#): > > Furthermore, Silverberg wrote: “It has been suggested that Tiptree is female, a theory that I find absurd, for there is to me something ineluctably masculine about Tiptree’s writing. I don’t think the novels of Jane Austen could have been written by a man nor the stories of Ernest Hemingway by a woman, and in the same way I believe the author of the James Tiptree stories is male.” ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/19 "2012-08-22T04:08:34Z")
There’s also the Gender Genie: [bookblog.net](http://bookblog.net/gender/analysis.php) ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983/20 "2012-08-22T04:59:59Z")
Speaking of gender differences in writing, I’m sure most of you have seen this tandem writing assignment from SMU: [http://www.csun.edu/~dgw61315/tandem.html](http://www.csun.edu/~dgw61315/tandem.html) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-differences-in-the-way-men-and-women-speak-and-write/631983.md?page=2)