# Are there \*female\* child molesters, paedos, etc.? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 10, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106 "2003-12-10T06:38:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/21 "2003-12-10T22:13:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > **It’s a double-standard, plain and simple. Although to be fair, as others have pointed out** Gotta move away from this assumption that men and women, boys and girls are the same. I believe a forty year old woman having a fling with a fourteen year old boy, while perhaps not ideal, generally is a lot less damaging than a forty year old man having a fling with a fourteen year old girl. At least going on own experience; if a just marginally attractive forty year old woman would have had sex with me when I was fourteen I’d have been in heaven. Also lets not call sixteen or seventeen year old males of females for children – they’re not. As far as I know, regardless of what the law says, paedophilia and child molestation is when the victim is pre-puberty. Sex with a seventeen year old girl might be sleazy for a forty year old man, but it has nothing to do with paedophilia. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/22 "2003-12-11T07:26:58Z")
Well, if my grandmother is a woman, then there are female child molesters. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/23 "2003-12-11T08:44:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WinstonSmith \* > Gotta move away from this assumption that men and women, boys and girls are the same. I believe a forty year old woman having a fling with a fourteen year old boy, while perhaps not ideal, generally is a lot less damaging than a forty year old man having a fling with a fourteen year old girl. At least going on own experience; if a just marginally attractive forty year old woman would have had sex with me when I was fourteen I’d have been in heaven. I don’t see how that’s not a double standard. What does your personal opinion that _you_ would have enjoyed sex with an older woman have to do with it? You don’t think there has ever been a teenage girl who has enjoyed being with an older man? I really don’t think that’s the point. ---
**Author:** ![WaryEri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ea666f/32.png) [@WaryEri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WaryEri)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/24 "2003-12-11T09:02:06Z")
This is a wild ass guess, but maybe society is kinder to a woman sleeping with a teenage boy than to a man sleeping with a teenage girl because of (mis?) conceptions about power. Men are seen as more “powerful” than woman, so the balance between a man and a girl is far more upset than between a woman and boy. Or maybe it’s the disparity between how we view male and female sexuality and promiscuity. Corrupting a “pure and innocent” teenage girl who’s not supposed to want sex is worse than corrupting a teenage boy, who’s expected to be seeking sex anyway. Or both. Or neither. I’m just glad the law seems to be treating both equally when women get caught, even though it really seems like popular opinion goes far easier on them. I don’t think being attracted to teenagers is a sexual perversion, but acting on it is often an abuse of power, whether you’re a man or a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/25 "2003-12-11T22:54:46Z")
A friend of mine, when we were about 12, often claimed that a local (known) woman had raped him. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/26 "2003-12-12T03:25:55Z")
In my neverending search for Internet porn, I’ve found two sites that were forums for women who are sexually attracted to prepubescent children. I’m not going to link to them; but in summation one had lesbian “mentoring” as it’s primary focus, and the other was about mothers whose relationship with their infants and toddlers have erotic overtones. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/27 "2003-12-17T02:46:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lumpy \* > \*\*In my neverending search for Internet porn, I’ve found two sites that were forums for women who are sexually attracted to prepubescent children. I’m not going to link to them; but in summation one had lesbian “mentoring” as it’s primary focus, and the other was about mothers whose relationship with their infants and toddlers have erotic overtones. \*\* That reminded me of the FOAF another Doper mentioned elsewhere on the boards. Remember, the one who orgasmed from breastfeeding her child? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/28 "2003-12-17T03:01:21Z")
Hey, you know some of us gals, in our teens, have fantasized about older men. D’uh! As for female molesters, another big obvious case would be _Sybil_. Her mother molested her, very violently as well as molesting other neighborhood children, of both sexes. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/29 "2003-12-17T11:05:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > **Hey, you know some of us gals, in our teens, have fantasized about older men. D’uh!** > > Excellent… > > \*\*As for female molesters, another big obvious case would be _Sybil_. Her mother molested her, very violently as well as molesting other neighborhood children, of both sexes. \*\* Do you mean the woman from the TV programme _Sybil_? Also it could be said that instances of females taking advantage of teenage boys are just reported less often? I new I would have kept it to myself at that age in order to reap maximum benefits. I think men are a lot more predatory in their approach to sex, particularley with younger girls. Obviousley this is a huge generalisation but IMHO its usually the case. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/30 "2003-12-17T17:36:19Z")
I don’t know if that’s the same thing-I’m talking about the book and the movie with Sally Field. Which was based on a true case, of a woman who had Multiple Personality Disorder, stemming from the extreme sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse by her mother. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/31 "2003-12-17T20:22:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I believe a forty year old woman having a fling with a fourteen year old boy, while perhaps not ideal, generally is a lot less damaging than a forty year old man having a fling with a fourteen year old girl. Interesting, considering that 14YO girls are generally more mature, in their appearance and behavior, than 14YO boys. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/32 "2003-12-18T13:42:21Z")
I thought that _Sybil’s_ case had more or less been disproved? I just remember reading that tapes of therapy sessions with her doctor had turned up, and it was supposedly obvious that her doctor led her along. Sort of like the McMartin case, where the ‘therapists’ asked very leading, specific, and suggestive questions. ---
**Author:** ![Wiwaxia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Wiwaxia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wiwaxia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/33 "2003-12-19T03:49:46Z")
In Sweden, the incidence of child abuse and whether the molester was male or female, was estimated indirectly in a cohort study a few years ago. Criminal records obviously fail to capture abuse that was never reported, and it was suspected that crimes committed by females would be less likely to be underreported for several reasons - one reason is that physcial evidence is almost never present (unless the perpertrator has used objects to violate the child in a tissue damaging way) and another reason is that (at least previously) it was even more difficult for a child to get the adult world to believe in the molestations if the child claimed the perpertrator was a woman - the idea of the holy mother is still strong in all of Western society, women are viewed as less violent, and less likely to harm a child. Anyway, this was an interview study, which was part of a very large population study where thousands of people were interviewed about their health, their psychiatric condition, their family background etc. The interview included questions about sexual abuse in childhood, and in this study 40% of the people who reported they had been victims of sexual abuse, reported that the perpertrator was female. Most frequently, the female perpertrators were the victims’ mothers. Self report studies always have obvious biases like selection bias etc, but still it is a very interesting tendency. ---
**Author:** ![Wiwaxia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Wiwaxia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wiwaxia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/34 "2003-12-19T04:01:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RexDart \* > \*\*However, I find it baffling that no women are looking for sexual relationships with underage girls. > > \ > > Does anybody here _know_ a female paedo? \*\* Most pedophiles, male or female, are heterosexual, so most female pedophiles molest little boys, not girls. Yes, I know at least one documented female pedophile. That was the mother of one of my patients when I worked as a clinician some years ago. This female pedophile abused her daughter (ie my patient) very severly from a young age, maybe 3-4 (“for as long as I can remember” my patient said) until she was about 15. By the time I met this patient, her mother had already served her sentence for the crime, so this was nothing my patient made up or was delusional about. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/35 "2003-12-21T05:25:04Z")
Someone who used to babysit me was obviously into the lesbian mentoring - when I was a little boygirl she used to abuse me. [rant] Unfortunately, when I did manage to tell someone, no-one would believe me. Even later in life when I decided I needed help enough to go to a sexual assault service, the service said that their philosophy didn’t take into account the fact that women could actually be the perpetrators (:rolleyes: which is why i now have a deep distrust for a certain brand of feminist theory) and that they couldn’t refer me to anyone who could help me, either (basically they implied I was lying) [/rant] Be that as it may. Yes, female abusers exist. Rarer, but possible. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/36 "2003-12-21T16:43:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RexDart \* > **For those not in the know, the site traps wanna-be kiddie fiddlers by having their contributors pose as 13-14 year old girls, and they follow some sort of protocol to make sure the advances they receive are genuine, and then post the information and expose the guy. (This is somewhat controversial, so just ignore the methodology for now if it bothers you.)** The only thing that bothers me is that I’m not in on helping with the destruction of perverts! How does one apply to this site as a decoy? ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106/37 "2003-12-21T22:24:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*The only thing that bothers me is that I’m not in on helping with the destruction of perverts! > > How does one apply to this site as a decoy? \*\* There’s quite a bit of secrecy about their methods and such, you can go to the site and click on a link to find out how you can help but they rigorously check up on all potential helpers so they can maintain that secrecy. There are, after all, alot of people who would love to throw a wrench in the gears there, and people who threaten the undercover chatters if they find out real identities. But feel free to go there and look around, I’m sure there’s something you can do for them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-female-child-molesters-paedos-etc/218106.md?page=1)