# Are there good books for people who end up in a string of bad relationships **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306 "2004-06-02T19:24:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/1 "2004-06-02T19:24:01Z")
I know a guy who can’t find a woman he can trust or settle down with. of the 70+ women he has dated in the past 2 years, he says that only one was not cheating on him or psychotic. Are there any books i can recommend to him that explain why people end up in bad relationships or unconsciously seek them out? He is in therapy right now for various reasons if anyone is wondering, so he already discusses the issue with a professional. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/2 "2004-06-02T22:10:15Z")
This thread is better suited for [**In My Humble Opinion**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=12). I’ll move it for you. **Cajun Man** for the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/3 "2004-06-02T22:15:18Z")
Anything my Milan Kundera–preferably \*The Book of Laughter and Fogetting \* and _The Unbearable Lightness of Being_. It won’t help him locate sane women (there are only 8 on the planet at any given time) but it will help him to understand the rest. ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/4 "2004-06-02T22:57:16Z")
> [@Wesley Clark](#): > > of the 70+ women he has dated in the past 2 years, he says that only one was not cheating on him or psychotic. How long was the longest relationship? If there truly were over 70 women, he couldn’t have been on more than a few dates with most of them. How can you cheat when you’ve barely shared air space? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/5 "2004-06-03T01:53:20Z")
> [@](#): > > It won’t help him locate sane women (there are only 8 on the planet at any given time) but it will help him to understand the rest. Inigo is lying. There are no sane women. I know. I am a woman and I drive myself nuts. Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/6 "2004-06-03T02:00:41Z")
Try this advice: tell him to pick a finite number. Let’s make this quick and say **three**. He is allowed to date **three** girls (not at the same time). Once he has finished dating these three girls, he needs to “give up” on finding anyone. Throw his hands in the air, mutter “women!”, and walk away, with no intent of diving back in anytime soon. A week later he will find the girl of his dreams. Well, it worked for me. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/7 "2004-06-03T19:39:06Z")
“Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives” and/or “Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships” by Dr. Laura. Yeah, I know, she can be an opinonated jerk sometimes, but her books have a lot of good sense in them. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/8 "2004-06-03T19:56:06Z")
“His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley. It’s a book for married couples, actually, but IMHO everyone should read it because its got a lot of good info about what makes men and women tick. “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is good, too; I think it should be required reading before getting a marriage license. Your friend seems to be adept at picking losers, but it also sounds to me as if he needs to learn more about himself before getting into another relationship. These two books will give him a ton of insight into what he actually needs from a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-good-books-for-people-who-end-up-in-a-string-of-bad-relationships/248306/9 "2004-06-04T00:32:00Z")
I might even recommend The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. Especially if your friend isn’t looking forward to reading mushy, emotional stuff. Covey talks about building up emotional bank accounts in all of our relationships through fair treatment, trustworthiness, etc. People who live by those guidelines tend to attract others who do the same. The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck is another good one. I’m with Abbie and Peri in thinking that if your friend is going through women that fast, he has some things to learn about himself. There isn’t that much mysterious about women.