# Are there languages which have different words for love in "I love you" depending on the meaning? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 11, 2014, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231 "2014-09-11T20:14:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/1 "2014-09-11T20:14:48Z")
We say “I love you” to a friend, relative, or lover and the meaning of of the word “love” in each case is a bit different. It’s similar, but saying it to a friend or a lover means different things. Sometimes we add qualifiers to be more specific about the type of love. We may tell a friend “I love you like a brother” to indicate that the love is more like what is felt for a relative than just a friend. To a lover we might say “I’m so in love with you” at the beginning of the relationship to highlight the intimate nature of the love, and then eventually say “I love you but I’m not in love with you” at the end of the relationship when the love is more like that for a friend. Are there languages which have distinctive words for these different meanings of the word love when said to a friend, relative or lover? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/2 "2014-09-11T20:31:35Z")
Sure. Probably Greek is the epitome here with the “4 Loves”. Eros, or physical love from which comes our word erotic; agape, or spiritual love which if you were at all involved with a teen church youth group you probably went to at least one agape dinner; philia, or mental love; and storge which is the sort of love a parent may have for a child or between colleagues or friends or a pet and their owner. My understanding is that for most spanish speakers, te quiero (lit. I want you) is appropriate to say to parents, offspring, friends and relations and it does not carry any connotations of lust, while te amo (I love you) is pretty much reserved only for one’s lover or spouse and even then, most speakers will say te quiero unless the situation calls for something a bit more sexy. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/3 "2014-09-11T20:32:58Z")
Moved Cafe Society --\> GQ. ---
**Author:** ![Itself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d07c76/32.png) [@Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/4 "2014-09-11T20:44:03Z")
Greek, mentioned above, is probably the best example I can think of. French (as far as I know, at least) uses _aimer_ for everything from liking a book to romantic love, modified in some cases with adverbs to clarify the meaning. Japanese has _ai_ and _koi_ (and the loan _rabu_, which is mainly used in other loans like _rabu retaa_ ‘love letter’), with _ai_ also being used in the general sense of liking something (and used as a root in the terms for maternal love, philanthropy, etc.) and _koi_ specifically referring to romantic love. There are other differences between the two, though, which I’ll leave for someone with a better grasp on the language to describe. There’s also _suki_, which is usually translated as ‘like’ but also appears in the phrase corresponding to English ‘I love you’. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/5 "2014-09-11T20:48:25Z")
Afrikaans has _lief_ and _bemin_. You can use the former for casual, familial and romantic love, the latter is only used for romantic love. _Ek is lief vir rugby_ I love rugby _Ek is lief vir my ma_ I love my mom _Ek is lief vir jou_ I love you _Ek bemin jou_ I love you, but in a (big-R) Romantic sense. The latter form is slightly archaic, and so is the realm more of poetry and song, nowadays. It’s actually more preserved in the words _minaar_ and _beminde_ (lover & beloved) which don’t have easy _lief_ equivalents - _geliefde_ (beloved) is IME used in the religious "beloved’ sense, _liefhebber_ (love-haver) is strictly a connoisseur/fan/enthusiast of something, not a romantic thing. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/6 "2014-09-11T21:33:13Z")
Ancient Greek is basically the textbook example of this, as others have mentioned. Any Modern Greek speakers care to mention whether or not it’s still the same? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/7 "2014-09-11T21:58:21Z")
As the philosopher Thomas E. Petty once noted, there are different kinds of love: _She’s a good girl, loves her mama Loves Jesus and America too She’s a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis Loves horses and her boyfriend too_ ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/8 "2014-09-11T22:09:41Z")
American Sign Language has crossed-arms hugging oneself for “I love you” love and kiss back of fist for “I love tennis” love. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/9 "2014-09-11T22:44:32Z")
Well, English has “love” and “like”, which is better than some languages, such as French. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/10 "2014-09-12T01:12:07Z")
Kind of the opposite, but Fulfulde has one works for love, like, want and need. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/11 "2014-09-12T02:34:41Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > My understanding is that for most spanish speakers, te quiero (lit. I want you) is appropriate to say to parents, offspring, friends and relations and it does not carry any connotations of lust, while te amo (I love you) is pretty much reserved only for one’s lover or spouse and even then, most speakers will say te quiero unless the situation calls for something a bit more sexy. Depends on dialect, but in general it’s correct. Some dialects use _amar_ in the general sense, and in fact it’s used in this sense in the first line in a set of reading books used in many Hispanic countries, the “cartilla Anaya” (_mi mamá me ama_, mommy loves me); some people overthink things and claim that _querer_ is the one that should be sexual, because what it literally means is “I want you”. _Gustar_ (officially “like”) can also be used in the sense of romantic-love, but when you want to… uhm… avoid sounding too overwhelming, whereas the same for friendship-love would, at least in my dialect, be _caer bien_. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/12 "2014-09-12T10:56:11Z")
I don’t know anything about the Polish language. And, apparently, neither did [President Jimmy Carter’s translator](http://mentalfloss.com/article/19249/president-jimmy-carters-carnal-mistake) . When Carter spoke of Poland’s love of freedom, it got translated to the audience using the wrong word for love, which has sexual connotations. So Polish must have at least two words for “love”. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/13 "2014-09-12T11:36:39Z")
There are some distinctions in German. I have never heard “Ich liebe dich” (“I love you”) used in a non-romantic sense except in quite badly dubbed American movies (and I always want to punch someone in the face when I hear a child say to their parent character “Ich liebe Dich”, followed by “Ich liebe dich auch” (“I love you too”) in a movie. Gahh). Instead, a child would say to their parent (or a friend to a friend) “Ich habe dich lieb” or “Ich habe dich gern”. Then there’s “Ich mag dich” (infinitive: “mögen”) which is a straightforward translation of “I like you”. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/14 "2014-09-12T13:18:38Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > _Gustar_ (officially “like”) can also be used in the sense of romantic-love, but when you want to… uhm… avoid sounding too overwhelming, whereas the same for friendship-love would, at least in my dialect, be _caer bien_. Yeah, apparently the Hispanic Studies department had a number of laughs at the expense of students like me who were never told by their high school spanish teachers that it’s not correct to say “me gusta” in reference to friends unless you meant that you found them sexually attractive. Quite a few red faces that day in class. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/15 "2014-09-12T15:36:53Z")
Mandarin Chinese: _“Ai”_ - means ‘love,’ just like English - can be as romantic or non-romantic as you want it to convey. \*“Ten” \*- ‘be fond of,’ or ‘cherish,’ a non-romantic word used in the sense of an elder family member such as grandparents, loving a young family member such as grandchildren. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/16 "2014-09-12T17:42:50Z")
Well, Japanese does, kind of… There is suki [好き], which is “like” but a little stronger, really. There is daisuki [大好き], which is “strongly like”, which is used to express strong affection, often used as “I love you” There is also aishiteru or aishiteimasu [愛してる, 愛しています] which is “I love you”, but which many Japanese feel is too over-the-top and don’t use. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/17 "2014-09-12T17:50:56Z")
Disregard my post above. I responded before fully comprehending the question in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2014, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/19 "2014-09-14T14:00:51Z")
> [@Jodete](#): > > Te quiero - I love you (romantic literally: I want you) > > Te amo - I love you (friendly/family) It’s the opposite. “Quiero” in that case does not indicate desire, it’s a word with two different meanings. My daughter is completely bilingual (actually she speaks 3 languages), but English is her mother’s tongue. She says “te amo” to all our family. Sounds a bit off to my ears, but nothing technically wrong with it, and I am not going to explain the difference to her yet. 🙂 I know Danish has an “I am falling in love with you” and an “I love you” one. At least the hubby said so 20 odd years ago when we were dating. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/20 "2014-09-14T15:47:07Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > My daughter is completely bilingual (actually she speaks 3 languages), but English is her mother’s tongue. Her mother speaks English or her first language is English? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231/21 "2014-09-14T17:11:40Z")
Oops. Brain fart. And the answer is “both”. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-languages-which-have-different-words-for-love-in-i-love-you-depending-on-the-meaning/698231.md?page=2)