# Are there love songs that don't focus on appearance? (To women, particularly) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306 "2009-09-23T23:11:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/1 "2009-09-23T23:11:30Z")
I love it when I’m efficient in my titles. But to expand anyway… I am really sick of love songs that are focused entirely on the beloved’s beauty/pretty/sexy/hot-ness. It’s depressing. Is love based on other things not worthy of being sung about? Is the love men feel for women centered so intensely on appearance and sex? Yes, there are love songs that don’t reference appearance, but they also tend to not reference anything else - they just talk about the love, not the reason for the love or the love object’s non-physical attributes. I’ve always felt this way, but I was reminded about it last night when I was listening to “Girl From Ipanema”: > [@](#): > > How can I tell her I love her? > Yes, I would give my heart gladly > But each day when she walks to the sea > She looks straight ahead not at me Which immediately made me think of that MADDENING song by James Blunt, “your’e Beautiful” > [@](#): > > My life is brilliant. > My **love** is pure. > I **saw** an angel. > Of that I’m sure. Perhaps it’s just an issue of the songs being lust songs about unattainable women? Probably not. I did a search and so far I can’t find a love song that praises something in the beloved that isn’t: Their appearance Their sexiness Their love for the singer of the song So, can anyone come up with anything else? ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/2 "2009-09-23T23:55:59Z")
How about In Spite Of Ourselves by John Prine? " She thinks all my jokes are corny Convict movies make her horny She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs Swears like a sailor when shaves her legs She takes a lickin And keeps on tickin Im never gonna let her go." ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/3 "2009-09-24T00:03:31Z")
[Hey Julie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvUdr3Qc3f4) by Fountains of Wayne ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/4 "2009-09-24T00:04:55Z")
Buju Banton has a song I love called “I Don’t Know Why” It is kind of a cheat, because in the actual chant, he does mention her physical attributes. But the chorus, sung by Wayne Wonder, really is beautiful. "You may not be a movie star you may not drive a big fast car But I love you in everyway I love you in every way (Buju Banton: Every way I can tink off) I don’t know why (I will tell you) oh why I don’t know why oh why… ( Oh oh yes) " I can’t find this following part in the lyrics on line, but he sang the following words in the concert that I just saw him in this past Saturday: “The dress you wear May be too tight People may say It don’t look right But, I love you in every way…” I had never noticed that particular lyric in the song before; and I have heard it hundreds of times. I wonder if he added that part just for the live performance. Anyways, I love it alot. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/5 "2009-09-24T00:06:49Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Is the love men feel for women centered so intensely on appearance and sex? Pretty much, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/6 "2009-09-24T00:07:24Z")
Marv Johnson? _You don’t live in a beautiful place And you don’t dress in the best of taste And nature didn’t give you such a beautiful face But baby, you got what it takes…_ ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/7 "2009-09-24T00:08:45Z")
How about Grand Funk Railroad’s **Some Kind of Wonderful**? I’m pretty sure they don’t mention the woman’s appearance at all. First verse: I dont need a whole lots of money, I dont need a big fine car. I got everything that a man could want, I got more than I could ask for. I dont have to run around, I dont have to stay out all night. cause I got me a sweet … a sweet, lovin woman, And she knows just how to treat me right. Well my baby, shes alright, Well my baby, shes clean out-of-sight. Dont you know that shes … shes some kind of wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![Tanaqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tanaqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanaqui)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/8 "2009-09-24T00:17:49Z")
Lupe Fiasco’s “And He Gets the Girl.” "We ain’t in the same crowd, I always see you with the hoopers. But we got the same lunch, You might see me with the cooler That’s 'cause I don’t eat pork You can never be sure. Oh, you like Linkin Park? That’s the hat from the tour. I got a autographed shirt they wrote “Much love to ya.” Man, that’s really funny how we like the same music. " A sweet dorky love song. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/9 "2009-09-24T00:24:51Z")
Todd Rundgren had a wonderful example with his song “Does Anybody Love You” from his album _A Wizard/A True Star_: \* You can dress up or dress down as you Gaze in the mirror, hung up on your body What good can it be when there’s no one there to see You’re so lovely, so wise You could make Venus crawl But love between the ugly is the most beautiful love of all\* ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/10 "2009-09-24T00:32:07Z")
(Keep on) Rockin’ Me- by Steve Miller? I’m still trying to figure what that one’s about (just to trust your partner?) but I love it none the less. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/11 "2009-09-24T00:40:13Z")
Tom Lehrer-[She’s my Girl](http://www.metrolyrics.com/shes-my-girl-lyrics-tom-lehrer.html) “The girl that I lament for, The girl my money’s spent for, The girl my back is bent for, The girl I owe the rent for, The girl I gave up lent for Is the girl that heaven meant for me.” Weird Al Yankovic-[Good Enough For Now](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Good-Enough-For-Now-lyrics-Weird-Al-Yankovic/04AF7A808F45AB064825690F0015F469) “Oh, I couldn’t live a single day without you Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, honey, you’re the greatest Well, at any rate, I guess you’re…pretty good” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/12 "2009-09-24T00:42:54Z")
The Beatles, “Ask Me Why.” No reference to appearance, just “I love you, 'cause you tell me things I want to know.” Jeez, he might as well fall in love with Mr. Wizard. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/13 "2009-09-24T00:54:17Z")
A very good example (I think) is “She’s Always a Woman.” Doesn’t say a thing about her looks (unless you count wounding with her eyes) or what she does to the singer, except that he apparently loves her despite the fact that she’s a bitchy narcissist. > [@Billy Joel](#): > > She can kill with a smile > She can wound with her eyes > She can ruin your faith with her casual lies > And she only reveals what she wants you to see > She hides like a child, > But she’s always a woman to me ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/14 "2009-09-24T00:54:57Z")
Not to mention the enlightened advice of [Jimmy Soul](http://www.6lyrics.com/music/jimmy_soul/lyrics/if_you_want_to_be_happy_for_the_rest_of_your_life.aspx). A pretty woman makes her husband look small And very often causes his downfall. As soon as he marries her Then she starts to do The things that will break his heart. But if you make an ugly woman your wife, You’ll be happy for the rest of your life, An ugly woman cooks her meals on time, She’ll always give you peace of mind. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/15 "2009-09-24T00:57:13Z")
_Annie’s Song_ - John Denver ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/16 "2009-09-24T00:58:32Z")
Wildflower by Skylark _Let her cry, for she’s a lady let her dream, for she’s a child let the rain fall down upon her She’s a free and gentle flower, growing wild_ ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/17 "2009-09-24T01:02:54Z")
For the exact opposite, there’s a song my Grandpap used to sing, and which, inexplicably, I can’t find anywhere online: > [@](#): > > Oh, I went to see my gal, it was in the rainy weather > And her face it was all dried up, just like a piece of leather > > Oh, I thought she wouldn’t do, I thought she wouldn’t do > I was almost sure she wouldn’t do And so on for about eight or ten more verses that I can’t remember. Obviously, Gramma never took any of it literally or personally. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/18 "2009-09-24T02:17:27Z")
There’s this teen pop-ish song (sung by a male) that I’ve heard on the radio called “Beautiful Soul,” I believe. It fits the OP, but frankly, I always thought it was written specifically so girls who don’t think of themselves as attractive (which number many, I’d imagine) would swoon and buy the singer’s album. Definitely NOT because of any interest in women’s lib; quite the opposite, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/19 "2009-09-24T02:29:14Z")
“Forever and Ever Amen” by Randy Travis: _They say that time takes it’s toll on a body Makes a young girl’s brown hair turn gray But, honey, I don’t care, I ain’t in love with your hair And if it all fell out, well, I’d love you anyway_ Actually, a lot of Randy Travis’s lyrics belongin this thread. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/20 "2009-09-24T02:39:12Z")
Gary Lewis and the Playboys: _Just My Style_ _Other guys who meet her may not think she’s much to see, I can’t begin to tell you what she always does to me_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306.md?page=2)