# Are there love songs that don't focus on appearance? (To women, particularly) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306 "2009-09-23T23:11:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/61 "2009-09-25T00:54:35Z")
Jeannie’s diary - the eels How does her world spin Without me in her nest Could there really be Such happiness? Oh, she’s got a dark side too Even murderous But I love that Just like her [LYRICS DELETED BY MODERATOR] ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/62 "2009-09-25T01:07:10Z")
_Hey Leonardo_, by Blessid Union of Souls, seems to be [all about](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/blessid+union+of+souls/hey+leonardo_10041001.html) attraction despite everything. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/63 "2009-09-25T01:48:58Z")
It’s funny how so many of these songs that don’t focus on appearance…still focus on appearance. Even if they’re saying, “hey, I love you even though you’re not beautiful,” they’re still bringing beauty into it, you know? Nick Cave’s [Into My Arms](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/66402/) is a good one, very sweet and spiritual. (Yes, it does contain the line, “And I don’t believe in the existence of angels / Looking at you I wonder if that’s true,” but there’s no indication that it’s the woman’s appearance that inspires his burgeoning faith…the rest is devoid of references to beauty.) Mark Lanegan’s got a boat-load of love songs that have no reference to a woman’s appearance: [I’ll Take Care of You](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858670035/) [I Love You, Little Girl](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858718269/) [Come to Me](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858519734/) [Wedding Dress](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858519728/), which contains the awesome line, “Get a room, so you can love me” 🆒 [Together Again](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858670042/) ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/64 "2009-09-25T02:08:39Z")
(And, uh, I realize now that Mark Lanegan didn’t write two of those songs in that list himself…oops.) ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/65 "2009-09-25T02:14:18Z")
Cake - [Short Skirt/Long Jacket](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/cake/shortskirtlongjacket.html) I want a girl with a mind like a diamond I want a girl who knows what’s best I want a girl with shoes that cut And eyes that burn like cigarettes I want a girl with the right allocations Who’s fast and thorough And sharp as a tack She’s playing with her jewelry She’s putting up her hair She’s touring the facility And picking up slack ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/66 "2009-09-25T02:53:57Z")
Not quite a love song, but Chelsea Hotel by Leonard Cohen. Well, maybe it is a love song. “And that was called love, for the workers in song/Guess it still is for those of them left.” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/67 "2009-09-25T03:27:11Z")
Two from Jefferson Airplane: [Today](http://www.lyrics.com/lyrics/jefferson-airplane/today.html) [Comin’ Back to Me](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/moonlightmile/cominbacktome.htm) ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/68 "2009-09-25T09:16:58Z")
I love Cake’s “Short Skirt, Long Jacket.” It’s the only love song I’ve ever heard that is aimed at a truly mature adult woman. Hearing that- just once- is such a breathe of fresh air. Being a woman sucks. If we are lucky, we get maybe ten years of time to be desirable love partners. I’m getting near thirty, and it gets me down to know that despite all the awesome stuff I’ve done in my life, my intelligence, my charm, my sexuality, and whatever else I have to offer, my desirability is on a rapid and permanent decline and will always be measured by how closely I can resemble a cute seventeen year old (knowing, all the while, that I could easily be replaced by an actual cute seventeen year old.) Makes one want to give up, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/69 "2009-09-25T09:34:37Z")
My favorite “unbeautiful” love song is Audrey Morris singing [I Go For That](http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/i/igoforthat.shtml), although it’s a woman singing to a man: > [@](#): > > You play the uke’, > You’re from Dubuque, > I go for that; > And furthermore, > I just adore > Your fuzzy hair, > Your vacant stare. > To Mister Cupid > I take off my hat; > You can’t account for silly taste, > Of all the hearts I could have chased, > I look at you > And ooh! > I go for that. More on topic, [Five Room Love Story](http://www.metrolyrics.com/five-room-love-story-lyrics-cowboy-junkies.html) by the Cowboy Junkies doesn’t mention appearance as such: > [@](#): > > I met her in a church on a sunday evening > Not late on saturday night > She sang Ave Maria > A little flat and out of time > But that’s what drew me to her > So that’s alright ---
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/70 "2009-09-25T09:55:04Z")
Beatles - She’s a Woman. Great song. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/71 "2009-09-25T10:51:25Z")
Ray Charles’ “Hallelujah! I Love Her So”: _When I’m in trouble and I have no friends, I know she’ll go with me until the end Everybody asks me how I know, I smile at them and say, “She told me so.” That’s why I know, oh, I know, Hallelujah, I love her so._ ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/72 "2009-09-25T22:55:24Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I love Cake’s “Short Skirt, Long Jacket.” It’s the only love song I’ve ever heard that is aimed at a truly mature adult woman. Hearing that- just once- is such a breathe of fresh air. > > Being a woman sucks. If we are lucky, we get maybe ten years of time to be desirable love partners. I’m getting near thirty, and it gets me down to know that despite all the awesome stuff I’ve done in my life, my intelligence, my charm, my sexuality, and whatever else I have to offer, my desirability is on a rapid and permanent decline and will always be measured by how closely I can resemble a cute seventeen year old (knowing, all the while, that I could easily be replaced by an actual cute seventeen year old.) > > Makes one want to give up, doesn’t it? Oh, please don’t worry. I’m chuckling over the fact that you’re worrying about getting 30. Im 41 now (male) and the older I get, the more attractive are the woman of my age. I don’t care about 20 year old girls. I do care about intelligence and charm and all that stuff, and so do my friends. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/73 "2009-09-26T00:56:16Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Oh, please don’t worry. I’m chuckling over the fact that you’re worrying about getting 30. Im 41 now (male) and the older I get, the more attractive are the woman of my age. I don’t care about 20 year old girls. I do care about intelligence and charm and all that stuff, and so do my friends. Well, that’s good to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/74 "2009-09-26T01:20:52Z")
The song that is ‘our song’ for my wife and I. **"She’s Got a Way" by Billy Joel:** She’s got a way about her I don’t know what it is But I know that I can’t live without her She’s got a way of pleasin’ I don’t know why it is But there doesn’t have to be a reason Anyway [LYRICS DELETED BY MODERATOR] ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/75 "2009-09-26T01:27:05Z")
_You’re My Best Friend_ by Queen. ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/76 "2009-09-26T06:12:38Z")
**No-one Can Compare To You** by Guy Sebastian You say what you mean You mean what you say You always keep it real that way Girl, that’s why I respect you **Love Grows** by Edison Lighthouse She ain’t got no money Her clothes are kind of funny Her hair is kind of wild and free But love grows where my Rosemary goes And nobody knows like me. **Jessamine** by The Casuals When Jessamine goes Part of me knows I’m not really living A butterfly child So free and so wild And so full of living When Jessamine stays Though time goes fast This is my world at last ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/77 "2009-09-26T07:22:58Z")
There are many love songs that don’t mention appearance. I assume the OP is looking for songs where some motivation other than appearance is given. [I’ll Lay Ye Doon](http://www.lyricsbay.com/ill_lay_ye_doon_love_lyrics-unknown.html) is a traditional Scottish song in which the singer realizes how much she loves a man when she overhears people talking about how honest he is. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/78 "2009-09-26T12:16:23Z")
MODERATOR INTERJECTION: Please, everyone, remember our [Rules on Copyright Issues](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7696968#post7696968) for these message boads, and for this forum [Forum Rules, post #2 in that thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=343601). Please do NOT quote entire song lyrics, or even “most of” the song. The best way to do it is what **Aspidistra** did in Post #65, or **Gyrate** in post #69: quote a relevant stanza and provide a link to a website that has permission to publish the full lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/79 "2009-09-26T17:17:20Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > Oh, please don’t worry. I’m chuckling over the fact that you’re worrying about getting 30. Im 41 now (male) and the older I get, the more attractive are the woman of my age. I don’t care about 20 year old girls. I do care about intelligence and charm and all that stuff, and so do my friends. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/BnDH-RXCptY/hqdefault.jpg "Louis CK - Girls vs Women") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnDH-RXCptY) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306/80 "2009-09-26T21:51:10Z")
_Something in the Way She Moves_ by James Taylor Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning, And I find myself careening Into places where I should not let me go. – she has the power to go where no one else can find me, Yes, and to silently remind me Of the happiness and good times that I know, you know. Well I said I just got to know that: Complete lyrics: > **[James Taylor - Something In The Way She Moves lyrics | LyricsFreak](https://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/james+taylor/something+in+the+way+she+moves_20069203.html)** > > Read or print original Something In The Way She Moves lyrics 2023 updated! There's something in the way she moves, / Or looks my way, or It’s actually one of my favorite love songs of all time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-there-love-songs-that-dont-focus-on-appearance-to-women-particularly/511306.md?page=5)