# Are these people friggin' serious? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354 "2001-07-31T17:42:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/1 "2001-07-31T17:42:27Z")
I don’t even know what word to call these people, here is the story: [http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/07/27/baby.naming.ap/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/07/27/baby.naming.ap/index.html) Are they greedy, stupid, fucking crazy… Plus what happens to the kid when he turns 18? Can he change his name? If Pepsi names him Pepsi can he drink a coke? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/2 "2001-07-31T17:49:35Z")
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Damn, but these people… You’re right; there’s no word for these people. They are greedy, stupid, and probably crazy, but none of those words are adequate. Platonic whores comes close, but whores provide a useful service to society and I don’t want to sully their collective good name. These people are more like syphilitic cockroaches, the type that won’t survive a nuclear explosion. I will lose any respect I had for any corporation that goes through with this. I have already lost any respect I ever could have had for the parents. I will feel sorry for their kid, if this goes through. I will feel sorry for their kid if this doesn’t go through, cause he’ll still have these pieces of shit for parents. But mostly I will feel sorry for people like me, who have to read about shit like this and beg any higher powers that might be out there to make stupidity painful for the stupid people. Fuck, but they’re morons. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/3 "2001-07-31T17:50:34Z")
You may not thank me for this **Briminator** , but related (but IMHO **much** worse) issues are currently being discussed in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=79152). At least in the case you mention, it’s more than likely a once-off. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/4 "2001-07-31T18:00:22Z")
If i had the money, i’d buy the kid’s name, and name him “Son of Greedy Whores” Black. Then I’d sue them for my money back if they ever call him by a shortened name. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/5 "2001-07-31T18:06:35Z")
What sponsor would be stupid enough to drag their company name through the muck like this? ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/6 "2001-07-31T18:16:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultrafilter \* > \*\*. > I will lose any respect I had for any corporation that goes through with this. \*\* Wouldn’t it be a coup for a smart corporation to take them up on the offer and then name the child something like “John” or “Jane” (or any other traditional name) and then say that they were doing this in the child’s best interest? That way, they’d still have free publicity and they’d look like friendly benefactors instead of Oportunistic Corporate Sleazebags[sup]tm[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/7 "2001-07-31T18:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tevya \* > \*\* > Wouldn’t it be a coup for a smart corporation to take them up on the offer and then name the child something like “John” or “Jane” (or any other traditional name) and then say that they were doing this in the child’s best interest? That way, they’d still have free publicity and they’d look like friendly benefactors instead of Oportunistic Corporate Sleazebags[sup]tm[/sup]. \*\* Yes, but the parents (in the biological sense only!) would still get the money. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/8 "2001-07-31T18:43:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultrafilter \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by tevya \* > > \*\* > > Wouldn’t it be a coup for a smart corporation to take them up on the offer and then name the child something like “John” or “Jane” (or any other traditional name) and then say that they were doing this in the child’s best interest? That way, they’d still have free publicity and they’d look like friendly benefactors instead of Oportunistic Corporate Sleazebags[sup]tm[/sup]. \*\* > > Yes, but the parents (in the biological sense only!) would still get the money. \*\* True, but that just makes the parents Low-Life Whoring Pimpsters. The Corporation comes out smelling like roses. After all, they “saved” this child from being named “Tampax” Jones by winning the bidding and then magnanimously naming him “John” instead of “Pepsi.” They could make a big to do out of how they were mortified at the thought of this child running around with an inappropriate name and decided to take the parents up on the offer out of the goodness of their hearts. They can then hook him up with a lifetime supply of Pepsi Products (including apparel). Damn. I should be in marketing. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/9 "2001-07-31T18:48:12Z")
TAMPAX JONES! My god, I almost want to change my user name ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/10 "2001-07-31T19:02:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tevya \* > **…Low-Life Whoring Pimpsters…** I love that band! ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/11 "2001-07-31T19:05:18Z")
I don’t have a problem with it. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/12 "2001-07-31T20:11:29Z")
The price has dropped, but it is still on e-bay: [http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1622157710](http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1622157710) ---
**Author:** ![FarmerOak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@FarmerOak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerOak)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/13 "2001-07-31T20:25:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tevya \* > \*\* True, but that just makes the parents Low-Life Whoring Pimpsters. \*\* Hey man, back off. My Mom was a Low-Life Whoring Pimpster. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/14 "2001-07-31T20:51:36Z")
I have nothing to add to this…ok, well, I DO want to say those people suck. But what I really wanted was an excuse to say **Tampax Jones**. Hee! I can’t help it…I’m gonna say it again…Tampax Jones. Hee! That’s so funny it hurts my teeth. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/15 "2001-07-31T20:51:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FarmerOak \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by tevya \* > > \*\* True, but that just makes the parents Low-Life Whoring Pimpsters. \*\* > > Hey man, back off. My Mom was a Low-Life Whoring Pimpster. \*\* Cool! Can I get her autograph? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FarmerOak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@FarmerOak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerOak)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/16 "2001-07-31T20:54:07Z")
No, man. She dead. Low-life Whoring Pimpstering takes it outta ya fast. ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/17 "2001-07-31T22:56:14Z")
Hehe, do they **really** think that the kid isn’t gonna be made fun of at school? Come _on_. These people are pretty damn foolish… not to mention lazy and selfish… if they really wanted to do the best for their children, they’d get off their asses and get jobs, not sell them to some company. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/18 "2001-07-31T23:55:09Z")
I grew up with an “unusual” name, so let me say upfront I’ve got no sympathy for these jerks. However, maybe they are hard working people in low-income dead-end jobs. Half a million dollars is undoubtedly enough to pay their debts, buy a house and start a college fund. All this for a child’s name? And maybe some “Mikey likes it?” advertisements? It’s not such a bad idea, and possibly the only bright idea these people have ever had. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/19 "2001-07-31T23:56:48Z")
Hmmm, lets start up a list: Velveeta Jones Twinkie Firestone Sony Corleone ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354/20 "2001-08-01T01:16:52Z")
> [@](#): > > However, maybe they are hard working people in low-income dead-end jobs. Yeah that could be true… I suppose they might have a good enough reason to do what they’re doing. But I don’t know it just seems _wrong_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-these-people-friggin-serious/74354.md?page=2)