# Are Those "Painted On" Swimsuits legal?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 28, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705 "2010-02-28T00:22:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/1 "2010-02-28T00:22:18Z")
I was wondering-those women (models) who sport those painted on swimsuits-would they get in trouble for wearing these at a public beach?
They look amazingly realistic, I assume only a close inspection would reveal that the garments are not real.
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### Author:  [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/2 "2010-02-28T00:44:11Z")
> [@ralph124c](#):
>
> They look amazingly realistic, I assume only a close inspection would reveal that the garments are not real.
Or a dip in the ocean, if they happened to use water-soluble paint!
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/3 "2010-02-28T00:47:24Z")
I’d have to look at a pic to give an opinion.
Actally, I saw an answer to the basic question on _Manswers_just a couple of weeks back. If you can see nipples, anus or labia, then the woman can be arrested for indecent exposure – in most places, whatever that means.
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### Author:  [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/4 "2010-02-28T01:24:06Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> I’d have to look at a pic to give an opinion.
>
> Actally, I saw an answer to the basic question on _Manswers_just a couple of weeks back. If you can see nipples, anus or labia, then the woman can be arrested for indecent exposure – in most places, whatever that means.
So, two Band-Aids, a butt plug and a merkin and you’re legal?
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/5 "2010-02-28T01:44:46Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> I’d have to look at a pic to give an opinion.
>
> Actally, I saw an answer to the basic question on _Manswers_just a couple of weeks back. If you can see nipples, anus or labia, then the woman can be arrested for indecent exposure – in most places, whatever that means.
In Canada, the Criminal Code defines “nude” as “so clad as to offend the public order,” whatever that means.
Ontario courts having ruled toplessness in public legal, if a woman were wearing a bikini bottom, she could then wear a painted-on bikini top with impunity if she cared to.
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### Author:  [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/6 "2010-02-28T01:45:10Z")
> [@gaffa](#):
>
> So, two Band-Aids, a butt plug and a merkin and you’re legal?
So, what you’re saying is, I will be invited to the next Dopefest?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/7 "2010-02-28T04:51:38Z")
> [@gaffa](#):
>
> So, two Band-Aids, a butt plug and a merkin and you’re legal?
Make sure your butt plug has a flange, and your bandaids are big enough to cover the area of color contrast. The merkin? Well, I dunno, it seems like if you let your bush grow wild and free, and you happen to be of a particularly hairy disposition, you might not even need one. I guess that might even work if you have an especially hairy ass for the anus.
But honestly, if I saw somebody that hairy walking around naked on the beach, I’d be inclined to call the cops myself. At least the fashion police. 😛
Kinda reminds me when Homer and Bart got lost in the woods and wrapped shrubbery around their midsections. Or the Monty Python guy who comes crawling out of the surf,
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### Author:  [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/8 "2010-02-28T06:28:57Z")
Evsn if it is legal that doesn’t mean just anyone should do it. Like those huge men who wear those tiny bikinis, they should be arrested for exceeding the speedo limit.
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### Author:  [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/9 "2010-02-28T16:07:02Z")
> [@ralph124c](#):
>
> I was wondering-those women (models) who sport those painted on swimsuits-would they get in trouble for wearing these at a public beach?
> They look amazingly realistic, I assume only a close inspection would reveal that the garments are not real.
I have assumed that since they are covered-by the paint-they meet the letter of the law. Heck, if visible nipples are illegal, what happens on an unexpectedly cold day?
But I don’t know. Nice pictures though.
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/10 "2010-02-28T16:20:20Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> But honestly, if I saw somebody that hairy walking around naked on the beach, I’d be inclined to call the cops myself.
…or the [National Enquirer](http://www.cryptomundo.com/wp-content/MessinWithSasquatch_3.jpg).
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/11 "2010-02-28T16:34:08Z")
> [@gaffa](#):
>
> So, two Band-Aids, a butt plug and a merkin and you’re legal?
Wouldn’t it be easier to just put on a swimsuit?
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/12 "2010-02-28T16:37:28Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#):
>
> Wouldn’t it be easier to just put on a swimsuit?
Sure, do it the _easy_ way.
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/13 "2010-02-28T17:17:11Z")
> [@runner pat](#):
>
> Sure, do it the _easy_ way.
When the hard way involves a butt plug, yes.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/14 "2010-02-28T17:25:17Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#):
>
> When the hard way involves a butt plug, yes.
You must suffer for your art. 😃
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### Author:  [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/15 "2010-02-28T19:59:08Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Make sure your butt plug has a flange, and your bandaids are big enough to cover the area of color contrast.
If it lacks a flange, it’s not a “butt plug”. It’s an “embarrassing trip to the emergency room”.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/16 "2010-02-28T20:08:00Z")
Legal where? Every State and municipality has different rules, some vague and others very specific.
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### Author:  [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/17 "2010-02-28T20:17:27Z")
They look fairly convincing in carefully posed print, but not as much on video and probably less in person with depth perception. I’ve seen some Sports Illustrated video where they blurred the crotches.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/18 "2010-02-28T23:18:11Z")
Most pictures I’ve seen show the woman with her legs pretty firmly pressed together.
OTOH, how about an actual swimsuit with nipples, anus and labia painted on it?
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### Author:  [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2010, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/19 "2010-03-01T12:41:38Z")
> [@gaffa](#):
>
> If it lacks a flange, it’s not a “butt plug”. It’s an “embarrassing trip to the emergency room”.
“We don’t have a lost and found box. We have an ass box…”
-Scrubs
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [March 2, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-those-painted-on-swimsuits-legal/530705/20 "2010-03-02T00:29:11Z")
Huh. I’ve only seen these online, and I always assumed they used those sticky pads to cover themselves up so they wouldn’t fall afoul of indecent exposure laws.
I mean, as a kid, I would inspect those pics very carefully, and, at least in the ones I had, you could not see anything they couldn’t show on basic cable.