Exactly, it’s like claiming that preferring chocolate over strawberry is somehow a virtue, when it is just a preference.
I’ve also noticed that there is a performative quality to the behavior of many frugal people which leads me to believe they are trying to impress others with their frugality, I don’t see that as much different than conspicuous consumption.
This is almost literally the diametric opposite of what I described in the OP. I exercise frugality almost exclusively for my own benefit, and I put a check on it (as in serving my guests the more expensive coffee) when interacting with others. Apart from discussing it in this thread, I take pleasure in seeming to conform to the general taste in frugality and extravagance, and I’m quite sure that the people who look at me superficially would think I’m not especially frugal. I drive a late model car, I own suits and shoes suitable for attending funerals and weddings, I order from the menu in high-end restaurants, etc. The only way you’d be able to tell that I’m frugal is if you lived with me or if you read this thread.
I’ve never cared about fashion. I buy inexpensive shirts at Walmart.
I try to get 10 years from a vehicle. I never understood trading in for a new model car every couple years.
Never owned a IPhone. You can buy a good Samsung running Android for half the cost.
I eat at least 3 inexpensive meals a week. 1 A can of soup with cheese toast. 2 Can of Stew or 3 just poached eggs on toast. Are my typical choices.
I do treat myself to a steak dinner or fried chicken a couple times a month.
I’m not sure I agree, you’ve used the word virtuous multiple times to describe your frugality.
I have to ask, how is one extravagant in pencils?
It seems as though in these posts many are talking past each other, even though they share interesting insight.The terms “cheap” and “frugal” are not necessarily interchangeable. From what I’ve read over the years, the biggest and most basic difference between the two terms is that to a frugal person, the quality of something still factors in. It’s just that the person is being resourceful in saving money on what they want. A cheap person doesn’t give a damn about quality, or cares much much much less, especially if they are spending money on someone else. cost reigns supreme to them.
https://www.fundingcloudnine.com/frugal-cheap-thrifty-stingy/
I’m going to guess by buying something like this
I live in shared accommodation (three-room apartment with each room occupied by one person) so as to spend as little of my income as possible on rent. What do I spend the money I save that way on? Answer: on going to the pub a lot and not cooking.
Doreen made a good guess, but it’s the Blackwing pencils. Sometimes I buy their special volumes, and have to pay for shipping. And that’s really extravagant
My personal self descriptor has been “cheap ass Polack.” When younger, I/we did not have tons of discretionary cash. We wanted a nice home, good developmental opportunities for the kids, helping them through college, and to not be a burden on our kids in our dotage. With those goals in mind, we simply ruled out a ton of unnecessary expenses. We RARELY ate out. I was the guy who said, “No, you can’t have a soda. I’m sure there is a drinking fountain around somewhere.”
We preferred having fewer quality items, than a lot of cheap stuff.
I’m fine with our choices.
This is how I do it:
Are you my mother, by any chance?
This conversation reminds me of a story about Patrick Stewart, aka “Star Trek TNG’s” Captain Pickard.
When he began doing the show, he didn’t own a car. When the show was renewed for a second season, he felt financially comfortable enough to purchase one. What did he buy? A Honda! The rest of the cast thought this was hilarious. His answer was that a Honda was a reliable, practical car, and that’s what appealed to him, and it would serve his needs.
Was Captain Pickard “cheap” for buying a Honda? I don’t think so.
We’re both retired and on a fixed income. We’re frugal. Our only extravagances, food-wise, are Starbucks coffee and the occasional filet mignons, if we can find them at a good price and freeze them for a special occasion. A wise person once said, “Watch your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.” We don’t buy anything we don’t need, but if something frivolous comes along that we would enjoy that costs a little more than we would likely spend, we can still do it because we’ve watched the pennies.
If you were buying a gift for someone important in your life and could afford anything, would the price of the gift be under ten dollars?
Otherwise, I agree with Kroptkin’s definitions.
We have always preferred buying quality. Such as leather goods and shoes. Now that our kids are out of the house, we play musical instruments that exceed our skills, and we both have nice watches. And when flying domestically, we fly 1st class.
But I’ve never been one for pricey cars. And I keep trying to convince myself to buy a new set of golf clubs, but the problem with my game isn’t the 25 yr-old irons.
Basically, I’m a “cheap date.” We have a nice home, and I’m generally happy just to spend time there.
For any longer flight. It’s going to be 1st class. I’m a tall guy and I have suffered in economy long enough. It’s ridiculous
Every time I get on a plane the seats have less padding and are closer together.
This too. I really like being home. I work from home too. My wife and I play about ~ 10 games of chess a week for fun. Cribbage too.
It’s a good thing I like it here. Going into town is a half hour drive. We of course to for groceries and a meal here and there. But for the most part, I’m home.
I’ll go against the grain here. My wife and I are neither cheap nor frugal. Even in lean times, we don’t really watch what we spend. I literally don’t look at the prices at the grocery store. We eat out a lot. Sure, there are a lot of things we don’t spend money on, but generally things we don’t really want to do. My income varies widely from month to month and year to year, so it’s hard to budget. We rely on credit when things are light, and pay it off when we have a big payday. We have been 30 to 60 days from financial ruin once or twice, but I think those days are behind us now.
I have enjoyed thrift shops since the early '80s. They give me the opportunity to leisurely shop and buy things for pennies on the dollar compared to new items. I needed a shirt and tie to attend a funeral and realized I had left my funeral duds at my other residence (I have two houses, 700 miles apart). I went to my favorite thrift store and got an L.L. Bean white oxford shirt with the dry cleaner’s tag still on it ($80 new) and a Zegna tie ($195 new) for $1 each. I also noticed two Revereware copper bottom stock pots in pristine condition. I got them too. It all cost me $12.96.
I pay attention to the grocery store ads and shop accordingly. I have always bought store brands when available. Paying attention to how I spend has allowed me to afford two houses mortgage-free, not worry about how much I run the heat and A/C, and buy new cars for cash when needed.
I will echo what others have said. There are a few things I’ll spend more money on, namely good food and drinks, and vacations. And by spending money on vacations I don’t mean spending on luxurious vacations, I mean spending on travel to distant destinations.
For other things, I do tend to be fairly frugal.
I don’t mind economy on a domestic flight, but the next time I fly internationally I’ll most likely upgrade to “premium economy”. I’ll file that under my willingness to spend money on vacations.
Yeah, that is completely deliberate; they want to make people so miserable that they feel forced to buy 1st class just to endure the experience. That’s where they make their profit. 1st class is now almost double regular class when I checked last.