# Are you a sex god\[dess\]? If so, which one? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 22, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809 "2000-12-22T03:08:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dr.Pinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dr.Pinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Pinky)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/21 "2000-12-22T06:17:37Z")
I was Kali one afternoon, but I’m better now. * * * Wombat, kiosk, credenza, balloon! ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/22 "2000-12-22T08:35:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Heavens above – you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move. Heh heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/23 "2000-12-22T08:37:22Z")
This is what I got… > [@](#): > > The sound of accordians and the flapping of plaid curtains addresses your arrival to the bedroom… WILBUR, God of Doilies. Your noodle-like limbs and gawkish stare tend to rile up your bedmate with a desire for pasta, and your slurring speech and accompanying drool cause the atmosphere between the sheets to become humid and riled. Since you can spend three hours talking about D&D, you never find yourself bored during lovemaking. And the fact that you still live with your mother ensures that you’ll never have to worry about finding an eager lover, ever, for the rest of your life. All right, I kick ass!!! _Take that, Zeus!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/24 "2000-12-22T10:57:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Your feminine charms and deep sensuality drive men crazy with desire. _Hestia, the goddess of family and peace,_ is your inner deity and she guides your every move. \*\* :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/25 "2000-12-22T11:07:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Heavens above – you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/26 "2000-12-22T12:37:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Good Heavens! For Outstanding Bedroom Performance, you have been nominated Vulcan, the God of Fire. Master of fiery passion, you’re every woman’s dream lover. ::blushing:: Well, maybe a little… ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/27 "2000-12-22T13:40:16Z")
It says I’m Athena > [@](#): > > You’re a powerful woman who knows what she wants and just how to get it. Of all the deities, you come closest to the modern woman. Strong and sensual, you’re someone who doesn’t shy away from a challenge. In fact, it’s precisely the challenge that excites you. You have no tolerance for traditional gender roles, so seduction is your specialty. You probably have no problem being the aggressor, nor do you mind being in control of a relationship. In bed, you might even take the lead and make sure that nothing’s over until you are thoroughly satisfied. Your self-confidence and security have allowed you to use your sexuality exactly the way that pleases you. Your lovers undoubtedly sense your inner divinity and worship your ways. You demand and receive respect from whomever you decide to bed. And like a light from the heavens, your partner discovers your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! In the actual myths, Athena was a chaste goddess. Teiresias was blinded for just looking at her naked body. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/28 "2000-12-22T13:55:31Z")
Apparently I am too much woman to be just One Goddess. In the inital scoring I was PERSEPHONE and when I asked for detailed results, I was HERA. ``` **HERA, the Goddess of Devotion.** ``` She’s a deity who demands total worship from her partner, and will go to great lengths to achieve the admiration she desires. You probably place a lot of value on monogamy and exclusivity, and you give yourself completely to your man. With so much devotion, you guarantee his satisfaction in all facets of your relationship. You feel most comfortable when there’s an intimate connection between you and your partner. When you feel that security, you abandon your sexual inhibitions and set your divine powers loose. You are a profound and passionate lover who believes that great sex means more than just a union of your bodies. To feel truly free, you believe that your heart and mind must be a part of the experience. When that total involvement finally happens, it’s like a light drops down from heaven. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/29 "2000-12-22T14:50:16Z")
Much like **Monster104** I am also an APOLLO… (thanks for saving me the cut and paste effort 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/30 "2000-12-22T15:18:29Z")
This is what I got. **HERA, the Goddess of Devotion**. She’s a deity who demands total worship from her partner, and will go to great lengths to achieve the admiration she desires. You probably place a lot of value on monogamy and exclusivity, and you give yourself completely to your man. With so much devotion, you guarantee his satisfaction in all facets of your relationship. You feel most comfortable when there’s an intimate connection between you and your partner. When you feel that security, you abandon your sexual inhibitions and set your divine powers loose. You are a profound and passionate lover who believes that great sex means more than just a union of your bodies. To feel truly free, you believe that your heart and mind must be a part of the experience. When that total involvement finally happens, it’s like a light drops down from heaven. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ---
**Author:** ![Modian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Modian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Modian)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/31 "2000-12-22T15:36:20Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! As the smoke clears, the hidden deity in you emerges and is revealed to be: APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. _smirk_ ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/32 "2000-12-22T15:41:12Z")
\>\> Heavens above – you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move. \<\< Woohoo! I’m a slut! ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/33 "2000-12-22T16:11:57Z")
I’m **VULCAN, God of Fire**. Anyone have the detailed results for him? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/34 "2000-12-22T16:14:00Z")
Eros here. God, I love women. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/35 "2000-12-22T16:40:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*This is what I got… > > > [@](#): > > > > The sound of accordians and the flapping of plaid curtains addresses your arrival to the bedroom… WILBUR, God of Doilies. Your noodle-like limbs and gawkish stare tend to rile up your bedmate with a desire for pasta, and your slurring speech and accompanying drool cause the atmosphere between the sheets to become humid and riled. Since you can spend three hours talking about D&D, you never find yourself bored during lovemaking. And the fact that you still live with your mother ensures that you’ll never have to worry about finding an eager lover, ever, for the rest of your life. > > All right, I kick ass!!! _Take that, Zeus!!!_ \*\* **SPOOFE:** LOL! 😃 BTW, I’m Apollo. But wasn’r he supposed to be really fast? [sub]or something[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/36 "2000-12-22T16:40:21Z")
**SPOOFE** is my hero! ---
**Author:** ![Meephead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/37 "2000-12-22T21:22:03Z")
“Good Heavens! For Outstanding Bedroom Performance, you have been nominated Apollo, the God of Poetry and Light. As every god’s ideal, you’re also every woman’s dream lover.” OK… I never knew that. Must go out and try my luck! ---
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/38 "2000-12-22T21:46:45Z")
ZEUS, God of Thunder – very nice… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/39 "2000-12-22T22:21:55Z")
_ahem_ > [@](#): > > VULCAN, God of Fire. > > In a world full of philanderers, you are a cherished god. Though you might not be incredibly suave, your irresistible good nature makes you every woman’s sweetheart. While all the other guys are stuck in their adolescent ways, you’ve got a maturity that all women ultimately desire. You present the perfect package to the ladies, with your combination of ingenuity and charm. They call it “marriage material.” But let’s not forget your erotic side. Between the sheets, you are unmatched. Your passion is like a volcano waiting to erupt. In your hands, a woman is simply a pleasure machine and you are the mechanic. Be careful not to make her overheat when you begin to work your magic! One night with you, and they’ll know why you’re called a true sex god. Yeah, that’s me all right…{blush}… ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/40 "2000-12-23T00:56:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Good Heavens! For Outstanding Bedroom Performance, you have been nominated Eros, the God of Love. Master of romance, you’re every woman’s dream lover. Well, as flattering as that might be, I don’t really think so. I would imagine something more like MEDIAN, god of the average if anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809.md?page=3)