# Are you a sex god\[dess\]? If so, which one? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 22, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809 "2000-12-22T03:08:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/41 "2000-12-23T01:09:40Z")
_Squeakle_ I’m confused, first it said Athena then it said Hestia. Huh? Kitty ---
**Author:** ![pantom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@pantom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantom)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/42 "2000-12-23T06:11:10Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! As the smoke clears, the hidden deity in you emerges and is revealed to be: VULCAN, God of Fire. See Lemur866 above for the juicy details. Spoofe, you could always use the drool for lubrication, y’know. Assuming that the part about not getting an eager lover is a bit off the mark. (of course, you would have to do something about Mom.) ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/43 "2000-12-27T06:14:52Z")
Who’d a thunk it? > [@](#): > > Heavens above – you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move. I always wanted to be just like Cristi when I grew up! ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/44 "2000-12-27T06:27:04Z")
**Dionysus** here. Must have been the part about tickling her till she pees. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/45 "2000-12-27T10:51:59Z")
> [@](#): > > SPOOFE is my hero! [sniff sniff] I smell a new sig!! ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/46 "2000-12-27T11:18:54Z")
> [@](#): > > APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. > > You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by all, your golden boy charm is enough to drive most women crazy with lust. You are the most wanted of all the deities. Women place you on a pedestal during the day, and dream about you at night. And once you work your godly magic in the bedroom, you’ve got them hooked for life. You are the hot, smart and charming guy whom all the ladies want to bed. Your inner intelligence, sensual nature and great physique make women happy to oblige any of your requests. Your hot and steamy temperament and the devotion that simmers within you make women swoon. You probably tend to dive passionately into relationships, but you may find that your fiery desire quickly cools. Nevertheless, you leave a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/47 "2000-12-27T12:56:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! As the smoke clears, the hidden deity in you emerges and is revealed to be: > > \*\*APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. \*\* > > You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by all, your golden boy charm is enough to drive most women crazy with lust. You are the most wanted of all the deities. Women place you on a pedestal during the day, and dream about you at night. And once you work your godly magic in the bedroom, you’ve got them hooked for life. You are the hot, smart and charming guy whom all the ladies want to bed. Your inner intelligence, sensual nature and great physique make women happy to oblige any of your requests. Your hot and steamy temperament and the devotion that simmers within you make women swoon. You probably tend to dive passionately into relationships, but you may find that your fiery desire quickly cools. Nevertheless, you leave a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. So… what is that supposed to mean? Is this why I can’t shake any of the crazy’s I’ve dated? Once again, New Years Resolution 2001, Don’t sleep with or date any exes… ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/48 "2000-12-27T14:03:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Heavens above – you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deep sensuality and unbending commitment drive (wo)men crazy with desire. Hera, the goddess of devotion, is your inner deity, and she guides your every move. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/49 "2000-12-27T22:23:11Z")
* * * APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by all, your golden boy charm … * * * ??? OK, so what do I do about it now? This’d been much more usefull info about 15 years ago… ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/50 "2000-12-27T22:32:38Z")
I’m Athena!!! Hmmmm… Wise _and_ sexy. ---
**Author:** ![AngelD112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@AngelD112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelD112)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/51 "2000-12-28T04:47:54Z")
I am “HESTIA, the Goddess of Family and Peace”, like Falcon, TroubleAgain, and msrobyn. “When you show your stuff, it’s like a light shines down from the heavens.” Should I be happy cause I’ll be good when I show my stuff? Or depressed cause I’m not going to show my stuff that often? At least I have an excuse now: My friend: " So Lisa, why are you still so prude?" Me: “Oh, I have to be. I’m Hestia, the Goddess of Family and Peace”. Ugh! ~Lisa ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/52 "2000-12-28T15:58:20Z")
I, too, am **Vulcan**. The mature, ingenious sex machine. I think I can live with that. ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/53 "2000-12-28T16:44:38Z")
I have been proclaimed “The Goddess Athena”. ---
**Author:** ![Earthman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9dc877/32.png) [@Earthman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/54 "2000-12-29T03:41:39Z")
DIONYSUS, God of Ecstacy - 🆒 Only the ticklish need apply. ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/55 "2000-12-29T03:52:34Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! As the smoke clears, the hidden deity in you emerges and is revealed to be: EROS, God of Love. As a devotee of this long-neglected virtue, you are a committed romantic. You prefer to savor the joys of seduction before you step into the bedroom. This quality makes you incredibly attractive to women, who seem to melt in your presence. They sense your strong character and respect your ideals. They dream of stealing you away and making dreamy love to you all day long. Not to say you wouldn’t be happy to oblige, but you want to make sure that there’s some emotional or intellectual compatibility between you and your partner to carry the relationship along. By the time you are ready to show them your godly performance, they’re hooked. You take sex seriously and show your lucky woman a passion that has only existed in her wildest dreams. You are probably an emotionally expressive and sensitive person whose pleasure comes from pleasing others. Your chivalrous ways have probably earned you a following of fans and a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. Damn these quizes are pretty good and nailing me at what I am. Although if you really wanna know you can just ask my girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/56 "2000-12-29T10:49:51Z")
I took the test again, just to see if the first time was a fluke. Sure enough, I got different results… > [@](#): > > Oh, hi. You’re the God of Herpes. Get away from me. I liked the first one better. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/57 "2000-12-30T03:22:38Z")
> [@](#): > > DEMETER, Goddess of the Fruitful Earth. > She is a deity who embraces all that man has to offer. > > Sex for you is probably just as much of a spiritual experience as it is a physical one. You are an unconventional lover who doesn’t feel the need to obey traditional gender roles or follow the norms set by society. Although you are a firm believer in experimentation, you never rush your sexual encounters. It’s important for you to experience sex in a deep and profound way. When in the bedroom, you not only surrender your body to the experience, but you allow your mind and your spirit to join the action. Men find you to be a phenomenal lover, and they never fail to be completely elated and fulfilled when the night is over. Sex for you is much more than the sum of its parts. It’s an experience that provides you and your partner with an unforgettable moment. When my results firrs came up it said I was HESTIA, now i am Demeter . i am puzzled any other demeters out there? ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/58 "2000-12-30T14:39:10Z")
Since the guy one wasnt all that suited to us gay guys, i thought i’d take both and alter the questions a bit. I kind of had to pretend in certain questions. The results for my “god” and “goddess” have been changed a bit. > [@](#): > > The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, VENUS, the God of Love and Beauty. Let’s just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and handsome, you fill men with desire. Taking pride in your appearance, you have a very masculine way about you. Although you have perfected the art of innocent flirting, beneath that naive exterior lies a man ready to hit the sheets and get busy. And once you’re in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. Smooth as silk in sexual situations, you know how to make your lovers melt. And you awe men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. You are a diva of delight. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens, your partner discovers your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a god! > [@](#): > > DIONYSUS, God of Ecstacy. > > You are one sex-loving deity! And you sure know how to turn any bedroom into an unforgettable party for two. You are sensual and fun-loving, and you will do just about anything to get some play. You have an insatiable desire for sexual pleasure. You have a young, playful spirit that makes the bedroom your personal playground. Because you are housing a god within you who used orgies as a method of worship, you have no limits to your exploration. Your experimentation and lack of inhibition make your sex life all the more interesting. Your open-mindedness and irrepressible energy allow your sexual energy to keep going and going and going. And when the day is through, you’ve left a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. Interpret as you like. As for Dionysus, well i cant say, being a virgin still, but i am pretty sure i’ll be quite open minded about things, so it doesnt shock me :). I have a kind of fantasy where I corrupt an naive young guy, but that’s me. As for Venus, they seem similar to Dionysus, but prettied up for the ladies :). ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/59 "2000-12-30T15:43:52Z")
I got Hestia too. Cool… I think… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/60 "2001-03-15T04:01:04Z")
"A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, PUSSYPHONE, Whore of the Night, A woman in touch with her deepest inner desires who knows exactly how to touch a man and fulfill his deepest inner desires. As the most sexual of all the female deities, you fucking rock in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man lies mostly in your oral techniques, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure, ie the 10 inch vibrator with the cyberskin sleeve along with the cyberegg with the naughty tip. As a woman of passion, you’re very comfortable with expressing your desire to “fuck me like an animal”. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality,in fact you exude the smell of lilacs and white roses when aroused and you taste just like sushi. Pass the wasabi. You cherish the intimacy of cum on your tits, and know what it takes to win a man(see previous statement). As a woman deeply in touch with your closet of marital aids you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more and at only $199.99 a shot it’s a bargain. And just when everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens, and fuck wouldn’t you know it’s the police helicopters. Behold, the skies proclaim, there’s that fucking whore again." What? That’s really what it said. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809.md?page=4)