# Are you a sex god\[dess\]? If so, which one? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 22, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809 "2000-12-22T03:08:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![romanticide](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@romanticide](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romanticide)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/61 "2001-03-15T04:52:55Z")
What??? I can’t figure out if you’re serious or not. That’s pretty clever if you’re not though. Pretty clever if you are for that matter. How funny! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/62 "2001-03-15T05:10:46Z")
**The Mermaid** , you rock 🙂 I am Persephone: “Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!” Yeah… ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/63 "2001-03-15T07:15:38Z")
EROS, God of Love. As a devotee of this long-neglected virtue, you are a committed romantic. You prefer to savor the joys of seduction before you step into the bedroom. This quality makes you incredibly attractive to women, who seem to melt in your presence. They sense your strong character and respect your ideals. They dream of stealing you away and making dreamy love to you all day long. Not to say you wouldn’t be happy to oblige, but you want to make sure that there’s some emotional or intellectual compatibility between you and your partner to carry the relationship along. By the time you are ready to show them your godly performance, they’re hooked. You take sex seriously and show your lucky woman a passion that has only existed in her wildest dreams. You are probably an emotionally expressive and sensitive person whose pleasure comes from pleasing others. **Your chivalrous ways have probably earned you a following of fans and a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake.** While I agree in principle to this description, I have one question. Where the hell are my fans and the satisfied mortals? Who has been hiding them, and where can I find them? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/64 "2001-03-15T09:28:13Z")
I’m still the God of Herpes… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Grok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Grok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grok)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/65 "2001-03-15T23:26:58Z")
I’m Zeus. So I guess I can inform the GF that there is a SECOND good reason for her to kneel at my feet… ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/66 "2001-07-19T19:01:35Z")
Yeah, so I’m resurrecting an old thread - I’m bored, sue me. :rolleyes: Anyway: VENUS, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. Let’s just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and pretty, you fill men with desire. Taking pride in your appearance, you have a very feminine way about you. Although you have perfected the art of innocent flirting, beneath that naive exterior lies a woman ready to hit the sheets and get busy. And once you’re in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. Smooth as silk in sexual situations, you know how to make your lovers melt. And you awe men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. You are a diva of delight. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens,your partner discovers your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/67 "2001-07-20T01:13:38Z")
A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, **HESTIA, the Goddess of Family and Peace.** She’s a deity who embraces all the aspects of womanhood. As a woman in her image, you exude femininity and sensuality. [http://www.emode.com/emode/tests/goddess\_extra.jsp](http://www.emode.com/emode/tests/goddess_extra.jsp) What-evah. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/68 "2001-07-20T01:37:36Z")
DIANA, the Goddess of the Virgin Wild. You are extremely desirable, but untouchable. As the deity of chastity and virginity, you live by your values. Your sexual desires simmer beneath a firm moral resolve. But you are far from a prude! The natural sensuality that you exude just makes you all the more desirable to your suitors. They know that your bedroom is a shrine, and you won’t share it with just anyone. Wherever your journey takes you, you leave a trail of heartbroken men behind. You probably take sex very seriously, and share it only with someone that you love. You truly enjoy the romance of courtship, but you stick to the ideals you’ve set for yourself. Any guy who doesn’t respect your boundaries is ancient history. You truly understand the meaning of love and will not settle for anything less than perfection. For the lucky guy who finds his way to your heart, suddenly the light comes shining down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/69 "2001-07-20T02:33:59Z")
**Athena** ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/70 "2001-07-20T04:22:06Z")
I’m also Hestia. Dammit, I wanted to be Athena. (I think. What does the Athena description say?) ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/71 "2001-07-20T04:45:51Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! As the smoke clears, the hidden deity in you emerges and is revealed to be: PHOBOS: God of Fear and Terror. Your constant panic in sexual situations ensures that you’ll never get any. Mention “herpes” and you run screaming from the room. You also run like a girl. When a woman so much as talks to you, you vomit uncontrollably. You big loser. I’m not sure I like my horoscope today. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/72 "2001-07-20T19:31:48Z")
OK, I admittedly have no sex life, but I opened this thread anyway. And I thought, “Yeah, I’m Hephaestus, lame god of blacksmiths–the poor schlub.” Then I went & took the test, picking the best answers I could come up with. It said I was Vulcan (ie, Roman corollary to Hephaestus)–HAHAHAHAHA! I didn’t fill out the form for the long version, so I don’t know if it would have reclassified me as Apollo or not. Frankly, I think Hades would fit me, too, but I doubt they picked him as an option (maybe for Goths?). But if they picked Athena as an option, who knows? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809/73 "2001-07-20T20:29:15Z")
CTHULHU: Great Old One, Elder God Really, there’s not much to say. You’re not Hastur or Yog-Sothoth, so that’s something, but you could at LEAST try to be Shub-Niggurath, after all. There’s just something about a goat with a thousand young that appeals to the ladies – there’s a man (er, goat) who’s willing to stick around a raise a family. You? Nah, you just sleep all the time. Slacker. I feel kind of sad now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-dess-if-so-which-one/46809.md?page=3)