# Are you a Sex God/Goddess (emode test) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 6, 2000, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501 "2000-03-06T07:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/1 "2000-03-06T07:44:00Z")
[www.emode.com](http://www.emode.com) has a new test. We all know what that means. Go take it and post your scores. SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is: DIONYSUS, God of Ecstacy. You are one sex loving deity! And you sure know how to turn any bedroom into an unforgettable party for two. You are sensual and fun-loving, and you will do just about anything to get some play. You have an insatiable desire for sexual pleasure. You have a young, playful spirit that makes the bedroom your personal playground. Because you are housing a god within you who used orgies as a method of worship, you have no limits to your exploration. Your experimentation and lack of inhibition make your sex life all the more interesting. Your open mindedness and irrepressible energy allow your sexual energy to keep going and going and going. And when the day is through, you’ve left a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. I resent the part about doing anything to get some play. Other than that though, it’s pretty much on target. I hope. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/2 "2000-03-06T07:52:00Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is: ``` APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by all, your golden boy charm is enough to drive most women crazy with lust. You are the most wanted of all the deities. Women place you on a pedestal during the day, and dream about you at night. And once you work your Godly magic in the bedroom, you've got them hooked for life. You are the hot, smart and charming guy whom all the ladies want to bed. Your inner intelligence, sensual nature and great physique make women happy to oblige any of your requests. Your hot and steamy temperament, and the devotion that simmers within you make women swoon. You probably tend to dive passionately into relationships, but may find that your firey desire quickly cools. Nevertheless, you leave a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. ``` ---
**Author:** ![TaleraRis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@TaleraRis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaleraRis)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/3 "2000-03-06T07:53:00Z")
A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! ``` The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is HESTIA, the Goddess of Family and Peace. She's a deity who embraces all the aspects of womanhood. As a woman in her image, you exude femininity and sensuality. You view men as the perfect counterpart to your womanly ways. But you probably don't appreciate casual encounters, and prefer purity and tradition. For this reason, you tend to attract men who understand your nature, and possess maturity and seriousness beyond their years. When you finally make it to the bedroom, and your divine qualities are released, you bring such sensuality that the experience is unforgettable. In other words, with the right guy, you really know how to get wild in the sack. In fact, when the mood strikes, you can easily drive your man crazy. But out of respect for your inner nature, love and devotion are an absolute requirement. You are an attentive and giving sex partner who knows how to make your man feel sexy, appreciated, and fulfilled. When you show your stuff, it's like a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ``` * * * I rode Omni in Springfield, IL ---
**Author:** ![Suzeanne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Suzeanne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suzeanne)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/4 "2000-03-06T08:01:00Z")
Hee hee! That was fun! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is VENUS, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. Let’s just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and pretty, your abundant sensuality fills men with desire. You probably take pride in your appearance, and have a very feminine way about you. You have a talent for dealing with men because you’ve perfected the art of innocent flirting. But beneath that naïve exterior lies a woman ready to hit the sheets and get busy. Once in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. You are probably comfortable in sexual situations, and know how to make your lovers melt. You might even surprise men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! Someone should probably tell my husband. * * * I just haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/5 "2000-03-06T08:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Suzeanne: > \*\*Hee hee! That was fun! > > The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is VENUS, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. > > Let’s just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and pretty, your abundant sensuality fills men with desire. You probably take pride in your appearance, and have a very feminine way about you. You have a talent for dealing with men because you’ve perfected the art of innocent flirting. But beneath that naïve exterior lies a woman ready to hit the sheets and get busy. Once in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. You are probably comfortable in sexual situations, and know how to make your lovers melt. You might even surprise men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. > > Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! > > Someone should probably tell my husband. > > \*\* ## What she said!! Especially about telling my husband! Wahoooooo!!! That was fun! Seen on billboard near home: Don’t make me come down there. God ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/6 "2000-03-06T09:43:00Z")
"A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires. As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you’re very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction, and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with her sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!" When they’re right, they’re right! * * * I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it. ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/7 "2000-03-06T13:09:00Z")
Remind me not to let my fiance read this… Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is: ZEUS, God of Thunder. Like a ten megaton bomb, you drop from the sky and into the arms of your lovers. Seduction is not just a simple game for you, it’s a way of life. You wow the ladies with your handsome looks and masculine charms until all resistance has worn away. As ruler of the gods, you like to remain in control of your relationships. From casual discussions to techniques in the bedroom, you like to call the shots. You may have many admirers, but you might tend to fall a little short on some virtues – such as fidelity. Your mind wanders at the slightest provocation. You have been known to keep several women on your mind (and in your bed) at once. But hey, with such powerful feelings thundering inside, you need to spread your love around, right? What’s certain is that once you get busy, your godly nature starts working overtime. As you perform your magic, that special someone will know exactly why they call you a true sex god. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/8 "2000-03-06T13:20:00Z")
Good grief. A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is the Goddess ATHENA. You’re a powerful woman who knows what she wants and just how to get it. Of all the deities, you come closest to the modern woman. Strong and sensual, you’re someone who doesn’t shy away from a challenge. In fact, it’s probably the challenge that excites you. You have no tolerance for traditional gender roles, so seduction is your specialty. You probably have no problem being the aggressor, nor do you mind being in control of a relationship. In bed, you might even take the lead, and make sure that nothing’s over until you are thoroughly satisfied. Your self-confidence and security have allowed you to use your sexuality exactly the way that pleases you. Your lovers undoubtedly sense your inner divinity, and worship your ways. You demand and receive respect from whomever you decide to bed. And like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! * * * “I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket ---
**Author:** ![Crystalguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dbc845/32.png) [@Crystalguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crystalguy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/9 "2000-03-06T13:23:00Z")
EROS, God of Love. As a devotee of this long-neglected virtue, you are a committed romantic. You prefer to savor the joys of seduction before you step into the bedroom. This quality makes you incredibly attractive to women, who seem to melt in your presence. They sense your strong character and respect your ideals. They dream of stealing you away, and making dreamy love to you all day long. Not to say you wouldn’t be happy to oblige, but you want to make sure that there’s some love to carry the relationship along. By the time you are ready to show them your godly performance, you have got them hooked. You take sex seriously, and show your lucky woman a passion that has only existed in her wildest dreams. You are probably an emotionally expressive and sensitive person whose pleasure comes from pleasing others. Your chivalrous ways have probably earned you a following of fans, and a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/10 "2000-03-06T14:43:00Z")
A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is VENUS, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. Let’s just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and pretty, your abundant sensuality fills men with desire. You probably take pride in your appearance, and have a very feminine way about you. You have a talent for dealing with men because you’ve perfected the art of innocent flirting. But beneath that naïve exterior lies a woman ready to hit the sheets and get busy. Once in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. You are probably comfortable in sexual situations, and know how to make your lovers melt. You might even surprise men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ## And I like tall men. _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Masterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Michael\_Masterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Masterson)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/11 "2000-03-06T14:57:00Z")
Whoa,me Eros too, SHEEEEZAM\//boom!! ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/12 "2000-03-06T14:59:00Z")
_ahem_ > [@](#): > > A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! > > The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is DEMETER, Goddess of the Fruitful Earth. She is a deity who embraces all that man has to offer. > > Sex for you is probably just as spiritual an experience as it is physical. You are probably an unconventional lover, who doesn’t feel the need to obey traditional gender roles or follow the norms set by society. You are open to experimentation, and never rush your sexual encounters. It’s probably important for you to experience sex in a deep and profound way. When in the bedroom, you not only surrender your body to the experience, but you allow your mind and your spirit to join the action. Men find you to be a phenomenal lover, and never fail to be > completely elated and fulfilled when the night is over. Sex for you is much more than the sum of its parts. It’s an experience > that provides you and your partner with an unforgettable moment. For the men who grace your bed, it’s like a light streaming down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, > here lies a goddess! Sooooo . . . . any takers? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/13 "2000-03-06T15:15:00Z")
Sorry, phouka…Mrs. Firefly likes her Apollo all to herself. 😉 * * * The mark of a truly great mind isn’t whether you’re right or wrong. It’s how well you can weasel out of a jam. - Unca Cecil ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/14 "2000-03-06T16:31:00Z")
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires. As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you’re very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction, and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with her sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! ## True that. This life is a test. It is only a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do. ---
**Author:** ![Thirsty4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Thirsty4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirsty4)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/15 "2000-03-06T17:39:00Z")
A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is the Goddess **ATHENA**. You’re a powerful woman who knows what she wants and just how to get it. Of all the deities, you come closest to the modern woman. Strong and sensual, you’re someone who doesn’t shy away from a challenge. In fact, it’s probably the challenge that excites you. You have no tolerance for traditional gender roles, so seduction is your specialty. You probably have no problem being the aggressor, nor do you mind being in control of a relationship. In bed, you might even take the lead, and make sure that nothing’s over until you are thoroughly satisfied. Your self-confidence and security have allowed you to use your sexuality exactly the way that pleases you. Your lovers undoubtedly sense your inner divinity, and worship your ways. You demand and receive respect from whomever you decide to bed. And like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! Hmm… is Athena available for a Straight Dope name? Which one of you little boys wants to be dominated? * * * “You CAN’T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many ‘bad’ things you do on purpose, you MUST be doing it because you think it’s the right thing to do.” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/16 "2000-03-06T17:54:00Z")
I’m with **CrystalGuy** (well, not **with** him, you know what I mean). Eros all the way. except for maybe this part: > [@](#): > > Your chivalrous ways have probably earned you a following of fans, and a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. If I have a following of fans, they haven’t told me. ---
**Author:** ![Thing\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Thing\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing_1)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/17 "2000-03-07T06:13:00Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is: ``` APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by all, your golden boy charm is enough to drive most women crazy with lust. You are the most wanted of all the deities. Women place you on a pedestal during the day, and dream about you at night. And once you work your Godly magic in the bedroom, you've got them hooked for life. You are the hot, smart and charming guy whom all the ladies want to bed. Your inner intelligence, sensual nature and great physique make women happy to oblige any of your requests. Your hot and steamy temperament, and the devotion that simmers within you make women swoon. You probably tend to dive passionately into relationships, but may find that your firey desire quickly cools. Nevertheless, you leave a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. ``` That’s my story and I’m stickin with it. John * * * Then he got up on top With a tip of his hat. “I call this game FUN-IN- A-BOX” Said the cat. -The Cat in the Hat ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/18 "2000-03-07T06:25:00Z")
Yup, Dionysus in tha house. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/19 "2000-03-07T06:33:00Z")
Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the god within you is: ``` APOLLO, God of Poetry and Music. You are the ideal man - basically, a stud. Loved by all, your golden boy charm is enough to drive most women crazy with lust. You are the most wanted of all the deities. Women place you on a pedestal during the day, and dream about you at night. And once you work your Godly magic in the bedroom, you've got them hooked for life. You are the hot, smart and charming guy whom all the ladies want to bed. Your inner intelligence, sensual nature and great physique make women happy to oblige any of your requests. Your hot and steamy temperament, and the devotion that simmers within you make women swoon. You probably tend to dive passionately into relationships, but may find that your firey desire quickly cools. Nevertheless, you leave a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake. ``` Ahh, I wish –Tim * * * We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501/20 "2000-03-06T19:11:00Z")
A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken! The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is HERA, the Goddess of Devotion. She’s a deity who wants total worship from her partner, and will go to great lengths to achieve the admiration she desires. You probably place a lot of value on monogamy and exclusivity, and you give yourself completely to your man. With so much devotion, you guarantee his satisfaction in all facets of your relationship. You feel most comfortable when there’s an intimate connection between you and your partner. When you feel that security, you let go of your sexual inhibitions and set your divine powers loose. You are a profound and passionate lover who believes that great sex means more than just a union of your bodies. To feel truly free, your heart and mind must be a part of the experience. When that finally happens, it’s like a light drops down from heaven. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess! * * * Winner, SDMB’s Biggest Chat Addict “Only two things that’ll soothe my soul - cold beer and remote control.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-sex-god-goddess-emode-test/14501.md?page=2)