# Are you a smartass? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 5, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115 "2005-03-05T19:24:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/21 "2005-03-06T00:02:14Z")
> [@Nunavut Boy](#): > > Now, now. “smartass” is such an ugly term. I prefer to call it “caustic wit”. How about “Intelligent posterior?” Or “Brilliant donkey?” ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/22 "2005-03-06T00:05:09Z")
I’m usually a dumbass, but every now and then I get lucky. Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then. ---
**Author:** ![myrnajean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@myrnajean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myrnajean)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/23 "2005-03-06T00:10:49Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > No I’m not a fuckin’ smart-ass Mr. Stupid. Who would even ask something like that? hmmm… this ones definitely not a smart-ass, a crab-ass maybe 😛 ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/24 "2005-03-06T00:25:36Z")
Yes. At least I’ve been told so by many, many people. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/25 "2005-03-06T01:06:35Z")
Nah… just a regular ass ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/26 "2005-03-06T01:07:26Z")
Smart Ass I left behind in my youth. Wise Ass is what I now answer to. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/27 "2005-03-06T01:43:24Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > Well, nobody loves a smartass. My husband loves me, so I guess that means I am not a smartass. Or maybe it means that I am a smartass, but my husband hasn’t noticed. From one of Lawrence Block’s “Burglar” novels: (Note: The main character, Bernie Rhodenbar, is a retired burglar who now owns a used book store, and he frequently mentions the patron saints of burglars and booksellers. His best friend is a lesbian.) “So, did you ever find out if there’s a patron saint of lesbians?” “Yes, I did. It’s the Little Dutch Boy.” “Little Dutch Boy?” “You know, the one who stuck his finger in the hole in the…” “Nobody likes a smartass, Bernie.” ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/28 "2005-03-06T01:43:44Z")
😕 Am I smart as? You? My parents? My siblings? :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/29 "2005-03-06T02:05:09Z")
> [@Nunavut Boy](#): > > Now, now. “smartass” is such an ugly term. I prefer to call it “caustic wit”. Does that mean a dumbass is a caustic twit? ---
**Author:** ![DWToml815](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DWToml815](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWToml815)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/30 "2005-03-06T06:34:45Z")
No I most certainly am not…Just ask my wife and she’ll tell you so. ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/31 "2005-03-06T07:52:10Z")
Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no…maybe, what’s it to ya? Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/32 "2005-03-06T08:28:12Z")
Why? Have you got a dumbass who needs some learnin’? ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/33 "2005-03-06T08:30:05Z")
> [@vl\_mungo](#): > > Nah… just a regular ass He beat me to it :smack: . ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/34 "2005-03-06T08:32:52Z")
What’s it to ya? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![coop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@coop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coop)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/35 "2005-03-06T09:40:44Z")
Smartass… Don’t you mean Smartarse? :wally The first option would be something to do with a Donkey and I’m sure that that is not what you are talking about. Now the second choice would be better if you were talking about the back of your front, wouldn’t it?? I wish you Americans would learn how to speak English (or Australian, would be a better choice…) 😃 Is that enough of a Smartarse answer for you??? ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/36 "2005-03-06T16:59:24Z")
You and what army? ---
**Author:** ![sweetfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@sweetfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweetfreak)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/37 "2005-03-06T17:03:41Z")
> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#): > > Originally posted by **sweetfreak** Too good of a response, I got nothin’ for you. Does that mean my ass smarts the most? 😛😉 ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/38 "2005-03-06T18:16:06Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > What’s it to ya? > > Yes. Listen, smartass, don’t go steppin’ on my lines! (check out post #10🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/39 "2005-03-06T21:47:53Z")
> [@sweetfreak](#): > > Does that mean my ass smarts the most? 😛😉 No, simply that you are the smartest ass. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115/40 "2005-03-06T22:34:24Z")
Yes, and I speak Sarcastic-ese as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-smartass/293115.md?page=3)