# Are you a stander or a sitter? \[TMI\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 9, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726 "2005-03-09T22:28:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/21 "2005-03-11T08:04:11Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Clearly a man who’s never had a cat in the house, and never come home to find every TP holder in the house completely unrolled. :smack: We had a cat who would unroll the TP if it was oriented forward, and just shred the whole damn roll if it was oriented backward. Finally we had to keep the bathroom door closed at all times. As for the question, I too am a one-cheek-leaner. ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/22 "2005-03-13T14:50:12Z")
> [@Early Out](#): > > So, after your wash yourself, how do you dry your butt? I’ve asked this question repeatedly, in various related threads, and have never gotten a straight answer. Well, you don’t… it sorta takes care of itself. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/23 "2005-03-13T16:52:59Z")
Sitter all the way. Maybe it’s a male/femlae thing? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/24 "2005-03-13T17:05:36Z")
Holy crap. I didn’t even know people wiped while sitting. It never even occurred to me that it was possible to do it this way. I’m a stander, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/25 "2005-03-13T19:51:18Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Sitting spreads your ass cheeks apart, allowing for a richer, deeper, smoother wipe and allowing for that all-satisfying two-finger _scratch_ at the end. Precisely. Only communists and Maple Leaf fans wipe while standing. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/26 "2005-03-13T19:54:36Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Sitting spreads your ass cheeks apart, allowing for a richer, deeper, smoother wipe and allowing for that all-satisfying two-finger _scratch_ at the end. Naw, you use your left hand to spread one cheek while standing, and give a good wipe with the right. You get a nice deep wipe this way. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/27 "2005-03-13T20:27:46Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Naw, you use your left hand to spread one cheek while standing, and give a good wipe with the right. You get a nice deep wipe this way. Then what do you hold your book with? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/28 "2005-03-13T20:32:30Z")
> [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > Then what do you hold your book with? You put it down, of course. Then again, I’m not one of those sit-and-read-while-you-shit people. How long do you guys take? I usually evacuate my bowels within a minute or two, hardly enough time to enjoy any literature. ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/29 "2005-03-14T12:39:16Z")
You have to look at it the other way… the dump is secodary 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/30 "2005-03-14T13:52:47Z")
> [@gouda](#): > > Well, you don’t… it sorta takes care of itself. In other words, damp shorts. Perhaps this is why the custom tends to be found only in warm climates. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Foible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Foible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foible)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/31 "2005-03-14T15:36:26Z")
I’m a sitter now, a reformed stander. Standing worked but I’d sometimes smoosh the mess around as I stood up. Sitting never crushes the klingons. I also like to blow my nose on a clean piece of TP, fold it so the snot is wrapped up, and use this for the first wipe. It gives a warm cushy sensation I can’t get any other way. Like wiping with a heated gell pack. ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726/32 "2005-03-15T05:48:08Z")
> [@Early Out](#): > > In other words, damp shorts. Perhaps this is why the custom tends to be found only in warm climates. 😃 Heh… Seriously though, the dampness isn’t much of an issue since it’s only the crack-al area that’s wet. I don’t even notice the dampness… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-stander-or-a-sitter-tmi/293726.md?page=1)