# Are You A Turtle? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826 "2002-06-25T03:58:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/1 "2002-06-25T03:58:14Z")
Well …? ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/2 "2002-06-25T04:06:06Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am. ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/3 "2002-06-25T04:24:53Z")
_gasps_ How did you know? _pulls into his shell_ ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/4 "2002-06-25T04:34:23Z")
[ul]I’m actually a [**tortoise**.](http://www.tortoise.org/) :p[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![\_ceQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b9bd4f/32.png) [@\_ceQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_ceQueen)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/5 "2002-06-25T05:28:59Z")
No, I’m a [weasel](http://www.saskschools.ca/~gregory/animals/weasel.html). ---
**Author:** ![Bullwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Bullwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/6 "2002-06-25T05:34:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\*You bet your sweet ass I am. \*\* Ditto ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/7 "2002-06-25T07:17:42Z")
No, I have no armor. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/8 "2002-06-25T07:43:32Z")
Actually, I’m mold. I have spores. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/9 "2002-06-25T11:21:38Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am. ---
**Author:** ![Toaster52](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/10 "2002-06-25T12:42:13Z")
ummmmm…huh??? ---
**Author:** ![Nortia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Nortia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nortia)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/11 "2002-06-25T13:02:22Z")
_gasp_ How dare you suggest such a thing?! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/12 "2002-06-25T14:11:34Z")
Will you leave Claude Lemieux alone already? ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/13 "2002-06-25T15:12:59Z")
I’m not a turtle, but I am a [cat.](http://auction1.inetu.net/member/kathysq/pics/Meow.jpg) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/14 "2002-06-25T18:15:55Z")
I seem to have been beaten to the punch. Guess I owe you a drink. ---
**Author:** ![justwannano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ab992/32.png) [@justwannano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justwannano)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/15 "2002-06-25T18:19:22Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/16 "2002-06-25T18:53:57Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am! (Years ago, when my wallet was stolen, the thing I regretted losing above all else in the wallet was my Turtle membership card.) ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/17 "2002-06-25T19:18:31Z")
You bet yer sweet ass I am. Damn…always late. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/18 "2002-06-25T20:01:27Z")
I have recorded my answer. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/19 "2002-06-25T20:25:50Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am! But I’d like to check the authenticity of everyone’s answers here. If everyone could kindly answer a few questions… #1 What is round, hard and sticks so far out of a man’s pajama’s that you can hang a hat on it? #2 What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and sticky? #3 What is 6 inches long and women can’t wait to get their hands on? #4 What is a four letter word, ending in “K” that means to have intercourse? #5 What is long, hard and filled with seamen? And please, keep your answers clean, as this is a family establishment. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826/20 "2002-06-25T20:50:17Z")
**Munch** : If _one_ person answers the questions, the imposters could just repeat them. But what’s the big deal about keeping the answers clean? For the life of my sweet ass I can’t think of any “dirty” answers to the questions you posted. 😕 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/115826.md?page=2)