# Are you a Turtle? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 27, 2024, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723 "2024-01-27T05:00:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/1 "2024-01-27T05:00:08Z")
Are you a Turtle? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/2 "2024-01-27T05:07:45Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/3 "2024-01-27T05:18:52Z")
Myrtle? Is that you? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/4 "2024-01-27T05:25:19Z")
I hope this isn’t referring to “then why do you snap?” and then yanking a girl’s bra strap, which the boys did in elementary school to impress their peers. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/5 "2024-01-27T05:28:19Z")
Such mockery! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/6 "2024-01-27T05:29:16Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I hope this isn’t referring to “then why do you snap?” and then yanking a girl’s bra strap, which the boys did in elementary school to impress their peers. > The **Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles** (" **International Association of Turtles**", " **Turtle Club**",[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_and_Honorable_Order_of_Turtles#cite_note-Dundes-1)or similar title) started as an informal “drinking club” between American [World War II](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II) pilots, self-described as “an honorable drinking fraternity composed of ladies and gentlemen of the highest morals and good character, who are never vulgar.” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/7 "2024-01-27T05:37:28Z")
I’m astonished no one figured out what you were referring to! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/8 "2024-01-27T05:39:39Z")
This thread is soooooo sloooooow. 🐢 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/9 "2024-01-27T05:45:11Z")
I did. My response was appropriate. I was waiting for my questions. ETA: This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, “Are you a Turtle?” You MUST then reply _“You bet your sweet ass I am.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/10 "2024-01-27T05:49:52Z")
Sadly, no. I wish I were. Using the tortoise and the hare analogy, almost all of my problems in life have come because I insisted on using a hare approach - being erratic and sprinting and napping - rather than taking the slow plodding consistent methodical approach of the tortoise. Had I been a tortoise, I’d be in far better shape in life now than I am. “Slow and steady wins the race.” And yes I know, a tortoise and turtle aren’t the same, but similar enough. ---
**Author:** ![moes\_lotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@moes\_lotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moes_lotion)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/11 "2024-01-27T05:55:16Z")
I’ll play, “What can a man do standing, a woman sitting, and a dog on 3 legs?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/12 "2024-01-27T05:58:35Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > And yes I know, a tortoise and turtle aren’t the same, but similar enough. Hey, just for the shell of it, why don’t we consider them the same? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/13 "2024-01-27T06:04:32Z")
Pee 😊 ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/14 "2024-01-27T06:10:29Z")
It’s turtles all the way down. ---
**Author:** ![moes\_lotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@moes\_lotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moes_lotion)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/15 "2024-01-27T06:22:02Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Pee Or shake hands/paws. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeysBrother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ab097/32.png) [@MonkeysBrother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeysBrother)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/16 "2024-01-27T06:46:35Z")
Other turtle questions, according to my late father\*: What’s hard and round and sticks out of a man’s pajamas far enough that you can hang a hat on it? His head. What’s pink and goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Bubble gum. There are apparently others in the same vein. Because turtles are high minded and never vulgar. \*My dad got inducted by a flight attendant (“stewardess” back then) who asked him the famous question because he was wearing a terrapin lapel pin. (He played football at Maryland.) Because of him, I’ve long known the answer to anyone asking if I’m a turtle. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/17 "2024-01-27T07:00:00Z")
> [@MonkeysBrother](#): > In my tenure with the Turtle Club, you tried to ask the question in the OP (to which the reply in post #2 must be given) within earshot of a teacher or other authority figure, which would get the replying Turtle in hot water. Another riddle was: Q: Name a word that begins with “F” and ends with “UCK”. A: Firetruck ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/18 "2024-01-27T07:32:21Z")
You bet your sweet ass I am (and have been since 1968). According to my card, if the required answer can’t be given for any reason the forfeit is a beverage of the asker’s choice. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/19 "2024-01-27T08:31:23Z")
No, for I wear no armor. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2024, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723/20 "2024-01-27T09:59:03Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Had I been a tortoise, I’d be in far better shape in life now than I am. “Slow and steady wins the race.” The name you have chosen does not make things better. > [@WildaBeast](#): > > It’s turtles all the way down. So am I. At least, that is the way I feel today. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-a-turtle/996723.md?page=2)