People who are fans of a particular celebrity spend huge chunks of their lives with that celebrity, some of the most enjoyable parts of their lives as well.
Take Kobe, an attentive Laker fan may have spent 2 hours a night 50 nights a year for 20 years with Kobe present in their homes. During those two decades Kobe was present during wonderful highs and depressing lows, sharing the experience despite being in different places, and not knowing each other personally at all.
I’m going to feel more about that person who I shared experiences with than the person who I don’t even know exists.
If you recall, I started off the OP stating the obvious possibility that I might lack sufficient compassion. Definitely possible. So I’m not exactly saying I’m better than anyone else. But my personal shortcomings are not established by meaningless platitudes like the one I took issue with.
HelenTroy chooses to take me to task, w/o offering ANY HINT as to how Kobe Bryant “helped people know themselves.” Seriously - how? Did he make you feel awe over his incredible physical prowess? Was there something about his character/personality that affected you? Did he lead his life in an inspiring manner?
I’ve got nothing against the guy personally - tho some factors lead me to suspect he was not exactly a humanitarian saint. And he was obviously a fantastic ballplayer. But I don’t find that I gain much personal insight from the actions and accomplishments of rich superstar athletes. At most, I may daydream about what it would be like to be in their place. I’m very open to explanations of how he made people “know themselves better.”
On edit - thanks Cheesesteak - that comes closer than anything else I’ve seen to explain what confused me.
Certain authors whose work greatly affected me. Terry Pratchett, of course. And because I’m heavily involved in the Silmarillion fandom, Christopher’s Tolkien’s recent passing.
I think that Wendy Kaminer put it best when she asked, “How can you love somebody who doesn’t even know you exist?” I’m obviously saddened by any death, but a significant number of people really do act as if they were actually in love with the recently departed celebrity.
In the case of an artist (performing or otherwise), my greatest sense of loss is for the art that person might have created in the future. For an athlete, I really don’t feel that sort of loss at all.
I wasn’t at all bothered by Kobe Bryant’s death, at least, not any more than I would be bothered by the news of any other helicopter crash that killed nine people, including a father and his teenage daughter. Might have something to do with the fact that you can count on zero hands the number of NBA games I’ve watched beginning-to-end.
I felt quite a bit of sadness at Prince’s death. I think it has to do with the fact that I was just getting into popular music right about the time he started getting big (early 80s, when I was 12/13). In many ways, Prince’s music was the soundtrack to my teenage years – along with Culture Club, the Bangles, etc. I’ll probably be equally sad when Boy George or Susanna Hoffs dies.
I think that sums it up. There might be the additional thing in some cases of ‘I won’t see any more of this athlete/artist’s greatness’ if still in their performing years. But I think basically when we say ‘emotional’ in this case we mean ‘not strictly logical’ rather than ‘feel bad for a logical reason’ (like missing the celebrity’s future creations).
And on the last one of death/tragedy possibly striking us too at any time (you needn’t have a helicopter at your disposal to die tragically) it’s exacerbated in this case by the death of father and young daughter at once, imagining that happening to us.
How much somebody cares obviously depends in part how much of a fan of the particular celebrity they were, and personality type I guess also. I was a huge NBA fan at one time, though not especially of Kobe Bryant, and less so in general now (for no particular reason I can pinpoint, just less interested than I was). When hearing of Bryant’s death when with my grown sons, one of whom remains a huge fan, it was shocking but at some point eventually I made a semi-flippant comment that made him a little cranky. Because he was really quite upset about it. It was also partly as he explained because of other stuff he’s going through lately that’s got him a little down (though not related to anybody dying), it’s easier to get set off by stuff he said. He’s a successful though not famous guy himself, definitely ‘has a life’, but this upset him more than it did me. Just varies by person I think.
I don’t really get saddened by such news so I asked my wife. She says that she only really is affected by people she likes AND who die tragically young. Since she’s not an NBA fan than Kobe doesn’t count.
I’ll distinguish 1) people I know, 2) folks I think I know, 3) those I’ve at least met and conversed with, and 4) humans I admire despite no actual contact. Standard “celeb” deaths don’t impact me, especially stupid self-destruction, except to trigger sardonic laughter. The world is better-off without some asswipes. Assassinations see me more frightened than sorrowful. For tragic accidents I may grieve without tears.
I predict celebrity deaths will become a thing of the past. Watch for clones.