# Are you annoyed by your spouse walking ahead of you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992 "2012-05-15T14:39:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/61 "2016-05-15T20:17:57Z")
I’m the opposite. My daughter will always position herself directly behind me and it drives me crazy because I can’t see her or talk to her and very frequently we’ll be in a store or something and she’s just gone, distracted at some point and separated and who knows where. The solution? I talk to her, and ask her to walk next to me. Even if I have to ask every time we’re walking together. I like walking side by side, she likes walking single file. Why should I get to declare my way is the only correct way and label her way as a personal slight against me? Maybe she has to walk everywhere single file at school. “Hey, why don’t you walk next to me so I can see you? I want to know you’re still with me.” It’s easier than holding a grudge. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/62 "2016-05-15T22:11:05Z")
He should be about 4 years ahead of her by now. I wonder if they’re still together? ---
**Author:** ![Skinnybones\_Lampshade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skinnybones_lampshade/32/2872_2.png) [@Skinnybones\_Lampshade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skinnybones_Lampshade)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/63 "2016-05-16T01:03:45Z")
Just an anecdote: I was walking along the sidewalk recently and passed a couple heading in the opposite direction from me. First I passed the man, who was striding along swiftly and determinedly. His wife (as I’m assuming she was) was some yards behind, rushing to catch up to him. Just as I came even with her, she called out to him, “Thank you for blazing a trail, dear, but I’d rather walk \ ***with** \*you.” That tickled me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/64 "2016-05-16T07:57:07Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I have the opposite problem – trying to get my wife not to walk behind me. It’s not a cultural thing like in Japan – I often kid her that people will think she’s my Japanese wife – but she often walks a certain distance behind me. Says she can’t walk as fast as I do, but here’s the thing: She is walking the same speed as I am, because the distance between us stays the same. (Std Disclaimer - Obvious Zombie is Obvious … but since I do know that Siam Sam is still active on the Dope…) That is exactly what my mum used to say to me as a kid when I used to walk six paces behind her all the time. But here’s the thing - if I rushed to catch up with her _she’d speed up_. Because hey, now that the slow one has caught up she can go at the speed she REALLY wants to. So there is a point to the slower one walking behind - it acts as a drag on the faster one’s speed, like an invisible rubber band. Of course, now you’re four years older and creakier, maybe your wife’s caught up to you again 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/65 "2016-05-16T15:10:46Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > (Std Disclaimer - Obvious Zombie is Obvious … but since I do know that Siam Sam is still active on the Dope…) > > That is exactly what my mum used to say to me as a kid when I used to walk six paces behind her all the time. But here’s the thing - if I rushed to catch up with her _she’d speed up_. Because hey, now that the slow one has caught up she can go at the speed she REALLY wants to. > > So there is a point to the slower one walking behind - it acts as a drag on the faster one’s speed, like an invisible rubber band. > > Of course, now you’re four years older and creakier, maybe your wife’s caught up to you again 😛 Nah, she still does it. But again, in Laos and Cambodia I make her walk ahead of me in case of landmines. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/66 "2016-05-16T18:55:27Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Nah, she still does it. But again, in Laos and Cambodia I make her walk ahead of me in case of landmines. 😉 Sound thinking, that. We don’t have landmines here, but there is dog poop and snakes… ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/67 "2016-05-16T19:23:48Z")
Why is the husband to blame here? I get annoyed when we are walking and my wife lags behind ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/68 "2016-05-16T19:47:29Z")
sometimes I get a little irked when she’s ahead of me, but only because she has a tendency to meander and vary her speed, and if I’m not watching out closely, I have a tendency to step on the back of her shoes and annoy her. I much prefer walking alongside! ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/69 "2016-05-16T21:54:20Z")
Some people are just a bit jumpy, always ready to get going, walk fast, etc. Walking ahead or behind isn’t the point. Being a jackass is. Kind and loving spouses do \*not \*tell you that you’re a paranoid nut when you tell them that they do something that really hurts you. Especially spouses who have given you a very good reason to feel a bit paranoid. I’m sorry. I hope therapy helps you figure things out, one way or another. Relationship threads on the Dope are always a hoot. “I’m hurt when this happens.” “You sound fat.”:smack: ETA: Oops, didn’t realize it was a zombie thread. I guess the therapy is probably done by now. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2016, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992/70 "2016-05-16T23:19:54Z")
I have no idea about any relationship issues but I too have an unusually fast natural walking pace that people frequently make jokes about (e.g., “Where’s the fire?”). I literally can’t walk as slowly as most people without a deliberate and uncomfortable strategy like briefly pausing at every step or getting some distance ahead and then stopping to let them catch up over and over. I don’t like walking with most people for any length of time for that reason. It isn’t malicious or intentional but I am not willing to go through life forcing myself to learn to walk like a turtle just because other otherwise healthy people are painfully slow (it seems deliberate in many cases). My daughters have adjusted to it by jogging Secret Service style next to me whenever we have to walk any significant distance. They are young and the exercise is good for them. Some people just operate on different speeds and it isn’t any more pleasant for a the fast ones than the slow ones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-annoyed-by-your-spouse-walking-ahead-of-you/621992.md?page=3)