# Are you aware of any networks for people shut in their home? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 13, 2016, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073 "2016-01-13T21:35:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/161 "2016-01-19T01:14:08Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > no. > > the point was you should get the licence even if you don’t become an actuary. Thank you for cybersupporting me. Unfortunately some users view cyberadmission of problems as an invitation for [Cyberabuse](https://youtu.be/_bgzggsF1UQ). ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/162 "2016-01-19T01:17:15Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Why did your parents want you to earn your PhD? This whole thing seems like a co-dependent nightmare. Most Americans would not understand the Jewish tradition of family members supporting each other. Education is a part of Jewish tradition. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/163 "2016-01-19T01:18:17Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > lives in our basement I have my own good room on the second floor. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/164 "2016-01-19T01:27:55Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Thank you for cybersupporting me. Unfortunately some users view cyberadmission of problems as an invitation for [Cyberabuse](https://youtu.be/_bgzggsF1UQ). it’s not that you admitted to problems it’s that you don’t want to do anything to change and you keep making excuses do you really not understand this? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/165 "2016-01-19T01:33:57Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > it’s not that you admitted to problems > it’s that you don’t want to do anything to change > and you keep making excuses > > do you really not understand this? I am sorry. Many things which some users call problems are not problems at all: – I do not have a job which would take up all my creative energy – I do not drive cars and especially [motorcycles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oI33EF5c04) ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/166 "2016-01-19T01:40:04Z")
In this thread alone you stated multiple times that not having transportation is a problem. It happens to be a problem that is within your power to fix. You called yourself a recluse or shut in, though not a willing one. Transportation would also have the chance to change that. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/167 "2016-01-19T01:50:55Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > cybersupporting \<_snip_\> cyberadmission lol ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/168 "2016-01-19T02:01:40Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > My life is neither better nor worse then that of most Americans my age. It is very very different. If the price of `freedom" is wasting myself on a job, then I do not need such `freedom". Because of course your parents will, out of the goodness of their hearts, live long enough to care for [del]your freeloading ass[/del] all of your worldly needs until the day you die. Also, I love the insistence that you’re not looking for major life changes. “Just” friends. As if earning and maintaining friendships would NOT be a major change when you currently do neither. Other than a phone sex line, I’m unaware of any people, and imagine they are few and far between, who would be happy with a phone-only friendship. That’s a substantial investment of time and emotional energy for little to no return. You’ll have better luck with internet-only friends – at least that is something that only requires minimal effort. But I sure wouldn’t go out of my way for someone who can’t even be arsed to hang out with me over coffee (or a game shop, or other mutual interest). I daresay most people are really not interested in being used that way. Reciprocity is pretty much fundamental to what friendship IS. > [@CCitizen](#): > > Driving is [dangerous](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oI33EF5c04). Technically, so is sitting, so is a sedentary lifestyle, and most accidents happen at home. OH NOES! > [@CCitizen](#): > > Decisions requiring effort can be taken very rarely. That’s not a factual statement. I make decisions requiring effort on a daily basis. Of course I also work, cook for myself, and make regular attempts to not only be a good friend to people I know, but to make the world a better place to live in. > [@raventhief](#): > > Have you considered interacting with a community – any community, not just this one – with positive intent? As I mentioned before, your contributions seem heavily skewed toward the negative. What you dislike, what you are not interested in, what is out-of-bounds, conversationally…what are you INTO? What do you actually like? Yes, PLEASE. You’d be amazed at how easy it is to gain friends if every topic you write/talk about is NOT 1\> All About You and 2\> all about complaining about your life. No one wants to be friends with someone who takes but never gives. Those are emotional vampires, and frankly, too much work for nothing in return. Easiest way to make a friend is to cultivate _genuine interest_ in the lives, passions, joys, and frustrations of other people. Do you care about what other people want? Who they are? What they care about? If not, you will never have friends, full stop. > [@CCitizen](#): > > I do not see anything to be ashamed of – for either myself or my parents. And yet you’re the only one in the thread bringing up shame. Repeatedly, no less. > [@Robert163](#): > > If you want to be miserable keep making excuses as to why you don’t need to do anything. If you want to get better, then take some advice. And If you want friends, learning to drive and leave the house are bare minimum first steps. By the way, one aspect of friendship is calling your friends out on their bullshit so they can stop avoiding the work necessary to improve their lives, so consider this post a freebie. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/169 "2016-01-19T02:51:19Z")
You’ve rejected the idea of learning to drive. You’ve also said that the nearest bus stop is too far to walk to, given how much you weigh, and that you can’t afford to hire a cab to drive you to the bus stop or to your destination. So it’s been suggested to you that you exercise to lose weight so that you can make the walk to the bus stop. And you could accept that $3,000 in disposable income each year is limiting the frequency with which you can get out and about and work to increase your income. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/170 "2016-01-19T03:04:14Z")
If you can walk to the front door, maybe you could sit on the porch and just lob soft projectiles at passerbys. Surely that would cause someone to want to be your friend, then they can do all the work to maintain it. I see this as win-win and my advice is free. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/171 "2016-01-19T03:06:01Z")
I am thankful to those who gave me good advice/support. I should get a blog where I can ban [del]vultures[/del] users who post hostile unsolicited advice. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/172 "2016-01-19T03:07:35Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > If you can walk to the front door, maybe you could sit on the porch and just lob soft projectiles at passerbys. Surely that would cause someone to want to be your friend, then they can do all the work to maintain it. Better I get a good subscriber base on my VLOG. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/173 "2016-01-19T03:23:05Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Better I get a good subscriber base on my VLOG. Not the same as a real life friend that you can throw something at. That’s the only way. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/174 "2016-01-19T03:25:58Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Not the same as a real life friend that you can throw something at. That’s the only way. Not looking for virtual and especially real fights. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/175 "2016-01-19T03:53:54Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Because of course your parents will, out of the goodness of their hearts, live long enough to care for [del]your freeloading ass[/del] all of your worldly needs I owe you no explanation. But this is a public forum and I respect some people who posted here. I have helped and continue helping my parents in many ways. Our partnership is good for both sides. Most adult children and elderly parents in Jewish and Asian families live together and help each other. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/176 "2016-01-19T04:18:33Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I owe you no explanation. That would have to be some explanation. Just how are they planning to defy death? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/177 "2016-01-19T04:32:21Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > > [@Kaio](#): > > > > Because of course your parents will, out of the goodness of their hearts, live long enough to care for [del]your freeloading ass[/del] all of your worldly needs > > I owe you no explanation. You are unnecessarily cagey at times; you’re not being asked to reveal state secrets. All you need to say is that you have discussed (with your parents, therapist, lawyer, etc.) the issue of how you’ll lived independently and you have a plan in place. You need not share details beyond that. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/178 "2016-01-19T04:39:56Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > You are unnecessarily cagey at times; you’re not being asked to reveal state secrets. All you need to say is that you have discussed (with your parents, therapist, lawyer, etc.) the issue of how you’ll lived independently and you have a plan in place. You need not share details beyond that. In 1992 I was 22, I had many good friends. And for $10 from my allowance (smaller then) I bought a super tape by [Damn Yankees](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyzmfoSNTks). One phrase I remember very well – if you are nice to people they will tread on you! ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/179 "2016-01-19T04:49:34Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I owe you no explanation. > > But this is a public forum and I respect some people who posted here. I have helped and continue helping my parents in many ways. Our partnership is good for both sides. Most adult children and elderly parents in Jewish and Asian families live together and help each other. I’ve noticed a pattern: You complain about your parents, being unemployed, living at home, having no drivers licence, etc etc, and then, when people start to criticize you, \ suddenly all of these are not problems anymore and we “don’t understand”, all of a sudden its completely acceptable to you to have these “problems”. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073/180 "2016-01-19T04:52:40Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > In 1992 I was 22, I had many good friends. And for $10 from my allowance (smaller then) I bought a super tape by [Damn Yankees](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyzmfoSNTks). > > One phrase I remember very well – if you are nice to people they will tread on you! So, why do you even WANT any kind of companionship? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-any-networks-for-people-shut-in-their-home/743073.md?page=10)