# Are you aware of "Mama" as a term of respect for older women? Do you use it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 13, 2017, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394 "2017-12-13T14:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/41 "2017-12-13T23:29:27Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > The usage you describe is NOT what I’m talking about. I have not experienced that-- and I’m guessing you’re right–it’s not respectful. Picture a situation where a checker or waitress hands you your change and says quickly and lightly, “Here you go, Mama. Take care.” I’ve heard the catcall type “mami” or “mama”, I’ve heard friends/acquaintances call a woman of any age “mami” or “mama” and I’ve heard parents call their daughters “mami” or “mama”. I don’t recall ever hearing someone use it for a stranger, the way one might use “Miss” or “Ma’am”, although I imagine it might be used between a regular customer and a cashier or waitress. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/42 "2017-12-14T00:50:29Z")
My mom hated being called “ma” or “mama”. So I’d never consider using the term when addressing a woman. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/43 "2017-12-14T01:21:04Z")
In THE East, as in Asia, it’s ‘Auntie’, meant as a term of endearment and respect to an older women. (Pronounced as ‘awnt’ not ‘ant’!) I call my Chinese friends Moms Auntie when I visit. It’s very common. But I don’t ever hear Mama used this way, there or at home in Canada. ---
**Author:** ![Fair\_Rarity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fair_rarity/32/153_2.png) [@Fair\_Rarity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fair_Rarity)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/44 "2017-12-14T02:24:00Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Perhaps I should’ve clarified. It would make my skin crawl to be addressed in such a way because to me, Mama should only be used for one’s own mother, and I am not a mother to anyone. It’s just wrong to my ears, and would rub me the wrong way. > > If someone were to refer to someone else as Mama, I wouldn’t mind. But if it were used by someone on me, I would tolerate it politely a couple of times. I probably wouldn’t bother to correct a sales clerk or something like that. But say, if a co-worker started up with it, it would irk me enough to request that she not use it on me. I agree. I _am_ a mother so when I am not with my child, I want that part of my brain to be turned off. I know it’s not meant as disrespectful, but I find it overly familiar and insulting personally. I had a boss that called us all that. I quit unrelatedly, but I was super stressed about it, not knowing how I could get her to stop without looking awful. She was not right in the head and would complain about us in Spanish… which I can understand and keep to myself. I feel like a stereotypical northeaster fuddy duddy, hung up on protocol and decorum, but I hate it and I’m too old to fake shit any more. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/45 "2017-12-14T03:29:05Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > never heard of such of thing (currently living in northwestern region of the USA) This for me in the Midwest through 2014 & South Florida since. Is there any demographic connections here? Are the folks using “mama” at the OP from some particular ethnic or language or immigrant group? How old are they? Educated or not? Etc. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/46 "2017-12-14T04:50:31Z")
I have never seen or heard anyone using “Mama” as a term of address for an elderly woman. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/47 "2017-12-14T07:34:30Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Is it the diminutive, “Mamacita”? _Mamacita_ or _mamasita_ (both spellings are valid) is a diminutive of _mamá_, which in turn is a pet word for _madre_. > [@Loach](#): > > Having a nickname with the word mama in it is different than using the word as a genetic title for any woman who may have children. It was explained to me as a title of respect given to a woman considered wise. Several other of the neigbors would also be addressed as “Mama [name]”, but not by Mama Lena because she had been the first to get it: the other Mamas called her Mama. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/48 "2017-12-14T08:01:44Z")
It’s fairly standard here for a middle aged Black lady (see: Miriam Makeba, Mama Afrika), _baba_ is the equivalent for an older man (You can hear T’Challa use it to T’Chaka in _Civil War_). A really older (grandparent) level lady would be a _gogo_. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/49 "2017-12-14T14:41:00Z")
When I was growing up in New England (Boston) you had “aunts” referring to blood relatives, and your mother’s friends were “aunties.” Thanks for all who answered. It’s an interesting read. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/50 "2017-12-14T14:49:04Z")
I have heard Latina CNAs call all their women patients “Mama” - sounds like a term of respect when they do. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/51 "2017-12-14T15:42:04Z")
Brits apparently pronounce “Ma’am” in a way that sounds exactly like “Mum” to me, which was really bizarre the first time I heard it on a show where subordinates kept calling their commander ‘mum’. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/52 "2017-12-14T18:24:54Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > There’s no such word as “Mam.” You meant “Ma’am.” So glad someone said it. And etymologically, it’s from “madam” not “mama.” Though the origins of “mama” and “madam” I don’t know anything about. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2017, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394/53 "2017-12-16T03:07:16Z")
I’m a middle-aged white woman living in South Florida. When my kids were tiny and I was a stay-at-home-mom, it was pretty common for other mothers in my group to call one another “Mama.” Not just in front of the kids, but as a greeting or term of endearment. The kids referred to adults as “Miss FirstName.” Once the kids were school-aged, it became more common for them to refer to adults as “Mrs. LastName.” Now, I sometimes hear “Mama” as a term of endearment or respect at work. I work with many Latinx and Caribbean people. I’d never heard “Mama” used in either of those ways when I lived in the northeast. We did use “Aunt” or “Auntie” to address close family friends or our parents’ close cousins. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-aware-of-mama-as-a-term-of-respect-for-older-women-do-you-use-it/804394.md?page=2)