# Are you flattered or offended when you get hit on my members of the same sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 31, 2011, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918 "2011-12-31T04:46:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/41 "2012-01-01T02:18:26Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > irritated. The person would have to be clueless. A real conservative man’s man, irritated at a homosexual expressing interest, NEWS AT ELEVEN! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SDMBKL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdmbkl/32/7297_2.png) [@SDMBKL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SDMBKL)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/42 "2012-01-01T03:10:10Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > A real conservative man’s man, irritated at a homosexual expressing interest, NEWS AT ELEVEN! :rolleyes: How is irritation at a homosexual invitation considered “conservative”? :dubious: It’s not political. It may be just an internal feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/43 "2012-01-01T04:28:37Z")
> [@SDMBKL](#): > > How is irritation at a homosexual invitation considered “conservative”? :dubious: > > It’s not political. It may be just an internal feeling. I wouldn’t say conservative, but I really don’t understand being irritated because someone of the same gender hit on you. I don’t get upset when women hit on me, if anything I’m amused. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/44 "2012-01-01T04:29:19Z")
Since I am very obviously married, I get offended when anyone hits me regardless of gender. I will say this from my single days, I never had a lesbian or bisexual woman make a disgustingly lewd attempt to sexually proposition me like some of the men I encountered. Also, none of the women ever got offended or vindicative over being rejected. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/45 "2012-01-01T05:33:14Z")
I put down “don’t care” but actually it’s never happened. I guess I don’t give off that vibe. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/46 "2012-01-01T06:12:10Z")
Flattered, but not, you know, a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/47 "2012-01-01T07:30:33Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > I wouldn’t say conservative, but I really don’t understand being irritated because someone of the same gender hit on you. I don’t get upset when women hit on me, if anything I’m amused. because it’s rude to just walk up to someone and think you’re God’s gift to mankind. As I explained earlier, it’s pretty easy to tell if someone is interested unless you have Asperger’s syndrome in which case it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/48 "2012-01-01T07:38:55Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > because it’s rude to just walk up to someone and think you’re God’s gift to mankind. As I explained earlier, it’s pretty easy to tell if someone is interested unless you have Asperger’s syndrome in which case it isn’t. So do you get offended when you get hit on by women? Or is it just the gay that annoys you? And no, people who have even decent social skills don’t assume someone who hits on someone else is “God’s gift to mankind”, you must be all the rage at parties. :rolleyes: And no, you cannot just tell if someone is interested in you without hitting on them first. Hitting on someone is HOW YOU FIND OUT if people are interested in you, it’s the entire point of doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/49 "2012-01-01T08:03:54Z")
> [@rogerbox](#): > > So do you get offended when you get hit on by women? Or is it just the gay that annoys you? to start with, I never said I was offended, I said it was irritating. Social skills are not gender specific. They apply to everybody. > [@rogerbox](#): > > And no, people who have even decent social skills don’t assume someone who hits on someone else is “God’s gift to mankind”, you must be all the rage at parties. :rolleyes: well I do get invited to a fair number of parties but I think you’re missing the point. It’s pretty easy to tell when someone isn’t interested in you. If you ignore that then it’s irritating. > [@rogerbox](#): > > And no, you cannot just tell if someone is interested in you without hitting on them first. Hitting on someone is HOW YOU FIND OUT if people are interested in you, it’s the entire point of doing it. Well if you want to define hitting on someone as a singular act that might be so. My experience is that it involves multiple attempts at engaging a person. It becomes irritating when obvious signs of disinterest are given and ignored. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/50 "2012-01-01T09:22:50Z")
I wouldn’t care if anybody hit on me, regardless of gender. I’d probably look at them funny just because I’d be wondering why they didn’t have anything better to do, then I’d go back to my book. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/51 "2012-01-01T09:30:54Z")
I tend to assume that anyone hitting on me has an ulterior motive–like casual sex that I’m not interested in, or possibly something more sinister. But that’s because I don’t go to places where getting casually hit-on is expected (like bars, parties, or social events in general). If I get hit on while I’m just out shopping silently and minding my own business (or whatever), I might just bite my lip, smile stiffly, say something inane, and sidle away without making eye-contact. This probably leaves the impression that I’m a stuck up bitch, but as a conflict-avoidant person, I’m okay with that. I don’t think my reaction would be any different if I were hit on by a woman, but to my knowledge that’s never happened. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918/52 "2012-01-01T14:27:55Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > to start with, I never said I was offended, I said it was irritating. Social skills are not gender specific. They apply to everybody. > > [snip] > > Well if you want to define hitting on someone as a singular act that might be so. My experience is that it involves multiple attempts at engaging a person. It becomes irritating when obvious signs of disinterest are given and ignored. Exactly. And I won’t speak for anyone else, but I am in fact much more tolerant of repeated attempts from a woman I’m not interested in than I am from any man. Does this make me homophobic? Don’t know. Don’t especially care. I know it’s tougher for gay men to find partners. But it really isn’t my problem. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-flattered-or-offended-when-you-get-hit-on-my-members-of-the-same-sex/607918.md?page=2)