# Are you getting less or more openly emotional as you age? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2010, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492 "2010-05-06T07:51:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/21 "2010-05-07T07:54:17Z")
I’m pushing 50, and have become more openly emotional over the years. From 30 onwards, you just care less and less about being “cool.” This is why we embarrass our children. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/22 "2010-05-07T09:52:47Z")
I’m 26, and I really haven’t changed at all. I’m a big softy. I’ll cry in any dramatic scene, public or otherwise, as long as I don’t feel that my emotions are being manipulated. “Grave of the Fireflies,” has me balling, but a melodramatic seat-belt ad will just irritate me. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/23 "2010-05-07T12:50:41Z")
I’m pushing 50 and I have always been emotional. It’s just the way God made me. I don’t care what other people think about it anymore, that is what has changed. I’ll cry in front of people, not bawl but shed a tear and not feel awkward. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/24 "2010-05-07T12:55:56Z")
Male, 62. I’ve the type who always hides (or tries to hide) his emotions, to the point that I’ve often been referred to as “Dr Spock”. What’s happened to me is that barrier seems to break down more easily and often as I’ve gotten older, to the point that I’ll occasionally break down over something trivial. It’s embarrassing, really. A case in point: a few years ago my wife and I were watching a “Monk” episode where Monk is forced to temporarily take care of a small child (many hilarious situations occur, such as Monk attempting to deal with a dirty diaper). At the end of the episode Monk has to give the child to his new adoptive parents - and suddenly I was bawling like a baby. My wife was staring at me in genuine confusion - she just thought it was another hilarious moment… Like I said, embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/25 "2010-05-07T13:19:21Z")
I’m a male in my early 40s, and I’ve noticed this more and more the last couple of years. If I watch or read something particularly moving, my voice catches, I get a tear in my eye, and sometimes get a lump in my throat. I notice it most often with patriotic displays. I must find those moving. It happened at my father-in-law’s funeral last year with the Marine honor guard, which was socially acceptable, I suppose. It also happened when I showed my son the scene from _Final Countdown_ where the two F-14’s take out the two Japanese Zeroes, and the scene from _The Right Stuff_ where Chuck Yeager breaks the sound barrier. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/26 "2010-05-07T14:41:57Z")
> [@sevenwood](#): > > I’ve the type who always hides (or tries to hide) his emotions, to the point that I’ve often been referred to as “Dr Spock”. I hope you mean “Mr. Spock” . . . unless you’re a very unemotional expert in raising babies. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/27 "2010-05-07T14:47:24Z")
I’m a female, 42, and I’ve become less emotional the older I get. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more laid back than I used to be or what, but my emotions seem to be more on an even keel than before. Perhaps that just gets me back to normal. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/28 "2010-05-07T14:57:35Z")
Male 58, bucking the trend here. I seeem to feel or care less and less every day. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/29 "2010-05-07T16:42:33Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I hope you mean “Mr. Spock” . . . unless you’re a very unemotional expert in raising babies. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/30 "2010-05-07T17:28:28Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I’m 51 and a straight white male (for whatever that may be worth), and I find myself far more openly emotional than I was 15 years ago. I’m not really sure that it’s part of getting older, however. I’m also not sure whether I am in fact more emotional, or just not so invested in keeping up a wall of cool indifference like I used to do. I can sometimes be brought to tears by a news story, a movie, or even a song – not that this was impossible in my youth, but crying was an extremely rare event. If I had to guess I’d say less than once a year. I do recall there were other times when I felt teary, but wouldn’t allow myself to go there. > > I’m very interested in hearing your thoughts on your own emotional behavior, and how you think it might relate to your age or gender or orientation, or whatever else. I’ve heard the quote “As men get older they grow a vagina” and have to say I find it to be somewhat true. I don’t if I’m more open about it; I think I probably am whether or not I want to be. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/31 "2010-05-07T17:34:13Z")
Wouldn’t say I’ve gotten more emotional as I’ve aged. Have definitely gotten more _expressive_. As a teenager I tended to speak in complete monotone á la Ben Stein circa 1986, and displayed no emotion whatsoever. My friends even told me of dreams they had about me being a robot. In the decade+ since then I’ve made a concerted effort to inflect and emote in my communications and dealings with others. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/32 "2010-05-07T19:01:23Z")
> [@Chicken\_Fingers](#): > > I’m pushing 50, and have become more openly emotional over the years. From 30 onwards, you just care less and less about being “cool.” \ Yeah, that’s definitely part of it. Once you’re past 30, you can’t be cool anyway, and you just look less cool the harder you try, so to hell with it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/33 "2010-05-07T22:33:33Z")
Female, early 50s, and much, much less emotional than I was when I was younger. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/34 "2010-05-07T23:08:48Z")
Female, 33. Neither. I’m as emotional, or not, as I’ve ever been. I do cry more easily in private, though. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/35 "2010-05-08T01:36:13Z")
I’m still too reserved for even my own tastes. 43, female, and spend too much time trying not to offend. Unfortunately, this isn’t something I’m going to get over, apparantly. 😛 I’m a goofy-ass Sagitarrius, too. Just too aware of what other people are feeling and I adapt to them, rather than just being myself. I need to knock that off. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/36 "2010-05-08T19:25:45Z")
Less. I’ve never been all that emotional. And I’m less so now. I haven’t cried since I was 10. ---
**Author:** ![Lantern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lantern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lantern)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/37 "2010-05-08T19:34:15Z")
I am male and have become less emotional in my 30’s. To a large extent this is deliberate. I believe that being able to control your emotions is the secret of happiness and while it’s a gradual journey, I am definitely more even-tempered than when I was younger. I am happier too so I expect I will continue moving in this direction. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/38 "2010-05-08T20:07:43Z")
39 straight male. Guilty as charged. I found myself tearing up a couple of weeks ago when they found that autistic girl in the woods. I never was like that in my 20’s or even my early 30’s. It’s a recent developement for me personally. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/39 "2010-05-10T13:25:56Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I’m 26, and I really haven’t changed at all. I’m a big softy. I’ll cry in any dramatic scene, public or otherwise, as long as I don’t feel that my emotions are being manipulated. “Grave of the Fireflies,” has me balling, but a melodramatic seat-belt ad will just irritate me. I’m in this club too. Even sad music which I have on my playlist sets me off crying at times. I get my heckles up easily too. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492/40 "2010-05-11T13:05:50Z")
Male, almost 40. Lately find myself tearing up when departing from family gatherings, particularly with my elderly parents; that didn’t used to happen. Don’t know if the difference is inside me, or lies in the idea that they are older than they used to be, and that each time we part there is a greater and greater chance that I won’t see them again. I wouldn’t mind quite so much, except I am generally unable to speak when I am in such a condition. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-getting-less-or-more-openly-emotional-as-you-age/538492.md?page=3)