# Are you going to Hell? Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078 "2005-11-08T18:16:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/21 "2005-11-08T20:32:17Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > Whatcha gonna be the next time, huh? > > I know. A Dolphin! A tiger, so I can rip you to shreds. šŸ˜› No, really, some kind of bird. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/22 "2005-11-08T20:39:51Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > No, really, some kind of bird. A [titmouse](http://images.google.com/images?q=titmouse&hl=en&lr=&safe=off&rls=DVXA,DVXA:2005-23,DVXA:en&sa=N&tab=ii&oi=imagest)? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/23 "2005-11-08T20:43:43Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > A tiger, so I can rip you to shreds. šŸ˜› > > No, really, some kind of bird. Dolphin sounds good, but apparently some of my [fellow dopers would be looking to BBQ me](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=343668). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/24 "2005-11-08T23:18:47Z")
Hell? I donā€™t even like that part of Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/25 "2005-11-09T00:35:57Z")
I _shall not_ go to Hellā€¦unless a luncheon is served, as part of the tour. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/26 "2005-11-09T00:39:52Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I was born Hindu, and even if I donā€™t believe in it - Iā€™m getting reincarnated! \ Apu, running away as a reincarnated rabbit: You canā€™t kill a Hindu! (gets caught in trap) Oh, save me Jesus! \ Hell? Iā€™m already there. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/27 "2005-11-09T00:45:11Z")
Hellā€¦ is other people!! Anyway- thatā€™s the rough thing about being an atheist- I do all the ethical and moral good works just because I believe itā€™s what a good person should do, but because I donā€™t ascribe it to divine mandate, Iā€™m off to hell. Well, we Jews donā€™t really believe in hell anyway- yay us! Yup, a Jewish atheist- it really works! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/28 "2005-11-09T01:02:48Z")
Hell is inside of us and how we deal with our own demons. It isnā€™t some firey pit of screaming terror. White Castle anyone Heaven isnā€™t some etheral place filled with eternal bliss dildo name! ā€¦oh waitā€¦now Iā€™ve forgotten what I was zen-ning on about when I mentioned dildoesā€¦ Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/29 "2005-11-09T01:23:00Z")
One thing I do know; when I look at the people who absolutely **KNOW** they are going to heaven and also know who is going to hell, I think the neighborhood is going to be a lot more pleasant with the group that is bound for the underworld. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/30 "2005-11-09T03:14:19Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Hellā€¦ is other people!! Ahā€“so youā€™ve met some of my co-workers? > [@](#): > > Yup, a Jewish atheist- it really works! We Jewish agnostics do OK, too. If you and I are wrong, **IvoryTowerDenizen** , and the Christian Hell exists, and if it takes as little to get there as Iā€™ve been told, then Iā€™m going straight to Hell when I kick the bucket. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Iā€™ll see you there. ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/31 "2005-11-09T03:18:15Z")
I am going to hell because I swear too much. Not so much here because I donā€™t have that much reason to, but IRL, I do. Thatā€™s all really. ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/32 "2005-11-09T03:30:06Z")
Ohā€¦where to begin? Theyā€™ll probably have to create a brand-new circle of hell (Amalgamated Sins) for me. I am not a good person. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/33 "2005-11-09T03:32:52Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Any God malicious enough to condemn people to Hell for not kissing his divine ass is no God I want to spend any time with anyway. That pretty much sums it up for me, too. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/34 "2005-11-09T04:26:08Z")
Oh, Iā€™m definitely headed to hell, unless I can swing that deathbed repentance. Iā€™ve hit a few of those deadly sins, definitely. Sloth, gluttony, _tons_ of lust. I covet stuff my neighborā€™s got. Not his wife, though; I donā€™t swing that way. I donā€™t go to church anymore, I lie from time to time, and I eat meat on Fridays. Whenā€™s the Hell Dopefest? ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/35 "2005-11-09T04:34:35Z")
Ooooh Yeaaah! I am _SO_ goinā€™ to hell! Besides, thatā€™s were all my friends will be. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/36 "2005-11-09T04:35:01Z")
> [@TV time](#): > > One thing I do know; when I look at the people who absolutely **KNOW** they are going to heaven and also know who is going to hell, I think the neighborhood is going to be a lot more pleasant with the group that is bound for the underworld. Well, you know what they sayā€¦ā€œHeaven for the Climate, Hell for the Company.ā€ But yeah, Iā€™d probably be headin to Hades, too. What with the not being baptized, the unreligious life, renouncing God and Jesus and all their works, the plotting to wipe out old-world Abrahamic religionā€™s power base with a doomsday device, etc. And all the copyright violations. Thatā€™ll be a big one. ---
**Author:** ![yukionna78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f19dbf/32.png) [@yukionna78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yukionna78)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/37 "2005-11-09T04:48:08Z")
Well according to my gramma Iā€™m doubly damned. Not only do I not believe in the Bible or Jesus, but I like girls. Soā€¦yeah. Save me seat but make sure itā€™s near some hot demon girls šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/38 "2005-11-09T06:00:51Z")
Well you know, you could theoretically avoid going to hell by never having sex again. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/39 "2005-11-09T06:07:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > The Christian Hell? > > Seriously, most religions are going to have to fight to get me in their hell, since Iā€™ve probably violated all of their more silly precepts. However, Iā€™m going to circumvent them all! I was born Hindu, and even if I donā€™t believe in it - Iā€™m getting reincarnated! I was born Chinese Communist, does that mean I get to live on the great collective farm in the sky after _I_ die? Wouldnā€™t be so bad, you knowā€¦ lots of red. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078/40 "2005-11-09T06:11:56Z")
This is the only hell I believe in, so, I supposeā€¦ yeah. Iā€™m here. At least my seat is a cushy computer chair. Not too bad. Would have liked a La-Z-Boy. Although, that is a form of hell, too. I mean, Iā€™d be sitting in a chair that has a purposely misspelled brand name. If it were a mistake it might irk me to no end, but since it was done _on purpose_, that really boils my potato. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-going-to-hell-why/330078.md?page=3)