# Are you good enough to whup the devil at anything? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679 "2000-10-12T15:32:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/1 "2000-10-12T15:32:44Z")
I happened upon the movie _Crossroads_ (starring those 80s powerhouses Ralph Macchio and Jami Gertz) the other night and accidentally found myself watching it. No, I cannot explain this. That’s not the point. If you haven’t seen the movie (and if you haven’t – where have you been? It’s got Ralph Macchio! Ralph Macchio I say! The greatest geeky man/boy actor since Chris Makepeace) the plot is: hotshot good kid guitarist (Macchio) battles the devil’s hotshot guitarist (former Zappa-mate Steve Vai) for the soul of Joe Seneca. Pretty decent, if goofy, movie. But I digress. My question to the teeming millions is this: Is there anything you do so well that you would be able to challenge the devil (or one of his lackeys) to save someone’s soul? I examined the talents I posess and found myself lacking. I could maybe whip him head to head in Gran Turismo on the Playstation, but don’t ask me to out-guitar, out-dance, out-drink (anymore), or out-do him on anything else for someone’s soul. So how about it? If you had to fight for my soul, what could you do for me? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/2 "2000-10-12T15:45:49Z")
I’ll whoop his butt at lurking on the SDMB! ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/3 "2000-10-12T15:47:31Z")
Trivial Pursuit. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/4 "2000-10-12T15:51:39Z")
I was getting all fired up reading your OP, Bottle, then you seemingly disqualified video game skills. I’d go head-to-head with Lucifer on _ **Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2** _ in a heartbeat. Other than that - I don’t know … nose-picking, channel surfing, responsibility shirking. Do any of those qualify? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/5 "2000-10-12T15:52:45Z")
Heck, if I’m dueling him for YOUR soul, I’d be up for just about anything. Candle-dipping, crap shooting, arm wrassling, tap dancing, cribbage, charcoal-sketching… How about fiddlin’? Wait, this end goes under my chin, right? What notes are these strings tuned to, again? Okay, for **Bottle of Smoke’s** eternal soul, my first number will be that old Johnny Cash favorite, “Ring of Fire!” ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/6 "2000-10-12T15:52:52Z")
The sit down version of the 80’s arcade game _Star Wars_. My highest score was 48million and this was only coz the place had to close. God I was good at that game. Helped a guy get the highest score in the world on it ( 3 days playing). It was witnessed by Atari. Then some American punks played it for a week. :rolleyes: Just didn’t have it in me to do it again. But now as part of a battle with Satan I’d whoop his big red ass. _Use the force, Luke._ ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/7 "2000-10-12T15:53:05Z")
I wouldn’t want the fate of your soul to depend on my Scrabble-playing abilities just now. Satan is kicking my ass. However, I could mount a speed-reading challenge. You know, give each of us a really long book and a weekend in which to finish it, whoever finishes first (and can prove comprehension) wins. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/8 "2000-10-12T15:53:50Z")
Oh please. I whup the Devil regularly whenever I see him. (Just ask! I beat him up!) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/9 "2000-10-12T15:56:50Z")
“Well you play pretty good fiddle son, but give the Devil his due. I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul that says I’m better than you.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/10 "2000-10-12T15:57:02Z")
Sit me and Old Scratch down at the table with a bottle of Jim Beam, and a stack of boolean logic equations. Face us off one quation at a time. Last one finished has to take a shot. I’d put the Devil on his ass, and bang his wife while he was passed out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/11 "2000-10-12T16:09:28Z")
If we’re counting video games, Bloody Roar and Counterstrike (while drunk; it seems to improve performance) are it. If not, then I’d have a shot with a foil bout (hoping that the devil doesn’t fence very well…I mean, c’mon, why on earth would he practice that?). Failing all that, I’d have to go with solving/approximating wave functions for quantum mechanical systems. \* Nobody \* really understands that, so at least we’d be on equal footing 😉 ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/12 "2000-10-12T16:13:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*Oh please. I whup the Devil regularly \*\* so THATS what the kids are calling it these days… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/13 "2000-10-12T16:15:05Z")
I do a damn good Carol Channing imitation. But I’ll bet the devil does, too. Constantly. They don’t call it “hell” for nuthin’. ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/14 "2000-10-12T16:16:31Z")
(Forgive me if this is double posted. My browser crapped out) **Jack** – Sorry, didn’t mean to imply I was excluding video games. Go with your strenghts, says I. (aside – How is Tony Hawk 2? I’ve heard good things but I haven’t been able to rent it yet…is it a keeper?) **Ike** – I’m scratching you off my phone-a-friend list. **Cyn** and **Myrr** – You have made my brain hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/15 "2000-10-12T16:16:42Z")
I LOVE that movie! Its actually really good. But I digress… There’s really not much I’m better at than the devil. I’d say I’d beat him in a contest of sincerity. Man is that a cop-out answer… ---
**Author:** ![Zilch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Zilch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zilch)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/16 "2000-10-12T17:55:30Z")
I’d bet him my neuroses are bigger than his. Piece of cake. – Zilch ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/17 "2000-10-12T19:01:30Z")
I can touch myself kinda good. I suppose I could beat the devil with that (heck, maybe even literally). I’m pretty sure I’m gonna meet the devil soon anyway. Mamma always said that’s where I’d be going if I didn’t stop. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/18 "2000-10-12T19:04:50Z")
cunnilingus. I bet the devil never practices. (I can’t believe I’m hitting the submit button…) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/19 "2000-10-12T19:09:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bottle of Smoke \* > \*\*(aside – How is Tony Hawk 2? I’ve heard good things but I haven’t been able to rent it yet…is it a keeper?) > \*\* Best game out there at the moment, IMHO. If you liked **THPS 1** you’ll freakin’ love the sequel. More levels - more objectives - more moves - more characters - more cheats - the key word here is more. It took me a week to beat the game without cheating, with one character. The more characters you win with, the more cheats you open. But of course I have secured the much coveted “master cheat” code for just goofing around. And now back to our regularly scheduled program. . . ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679/20 "2000-10-12T19:30:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d put the Devil on his ass, and bang his wife while he was passed out. You wish, Boyo. 😉 > [@](#): > > cunnilingus. I bet the devil never practices. andy, andy, andy…never underestimate the powers of a talented and practiced forked tongue… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-good-enough-to-whup-the-devil-at-anything/36679.md?page=2)