# Are you happily married? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630 "2014-06-25T18:17:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/81 "2014-06-27T16:57:42Z")
34 years and super happy. It will be even better when I retire. She’s far better than I deserve. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/82 "2014-06-27T18:15:02Z")
27 years, today! This makes it half of my wife’s life. My “half life” will be in two years. PS: you didn’t include ‘delighted’ as an option, darn it. I had to settle for ‘happy’. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/83 "2014-06-27T18:19:16Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > 27 years, today! This makes it half of my wife’s life. My “half life” will be in two years. > > PS: you didn’t include ‘delighted’ as an option, darn it. I had to settle for ‘happy’. I thought about including more gradations, but I wanted to break it down by length of a marriage more. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/84 "2014-06-27T18:48:35Z")
Oh, and I’ll have some sherbet, too. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/85 "2014-06-27T19:29:21Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > 26.5 years, and couldn’t be happier. > > Some time SOON we’ll be allowed to get married. Come to Iowa! My husband is a fully qualified Pastafarian Minister and he’ll hitch you up good and legal. (Married 9 years this month. I got him his Minister license for xmas this year, he got me a spinning wheel. Suffice it to say we’re happily married.) ---
**Author:** ![Kalea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@Kalea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalea)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/86 "2014-06-28T06:56:12Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Oh, and I’ll have some sherbet, too. Thanks. \ Yeah - why not a multi-select poll? I want sherbet, too, even though my marriage is happy. But not sherbert, that’s nasty. \ ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/87 "2014-06-28T15:07:42Z")
Things were great early in the marriage. Then, as we were leaving the church… ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/88 "2014-06-29T19:14:21Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Either this poll is only inviting to a select sample of people or people are lying to themselves or others. I have no idea what the proportion is but both are likely the case. The numbers simply don’t match up with reality. About half of the current marriages will end in divorce and, of those that are left, half or much more of those will stay married for whatever reason but at least one partner will be chronically unhappy. The odds aren’t good overall but this poll claims otherwise. I don’t buy it for a second unless only the most outstanding set of husbands and wives in the world are the ones answering the poll. I’m with you on this. I think we’re seeing a mixture of self-selection bias and overcompensation in this thread. It doesn’t align with statistical reality or my own experience of the world. In the short time I’ve been on this board, I’ve noticed that any thread dealing with marriage and relationships results in either (1) a parade of Dopers gushing that they have the BEST MARRIAGE EVAH or (2) self-righteous, Cotton-Mather-esque lectures on moral rectitude. This baffles me, given that the SDMB leans left on social and political issues and is generally rife with snarky cynicism and contrarian thinking. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/89 "2014-06-29T20:35:08Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > I’m with you on this. I think we’re seeing a mixture of self-selection bias and overcompensation in this thread. It doesn’t align with statistical reality or my own experience of the world. > > In the short time I’ve been on this board, I’ve noticed that any thread dealing with marriage and relationships results in either (1) a parade of Dopers gushing that they have the BEST MARRIAGE EVAH or (2) self-righteous, Cotton-Mather-esque lectures on moral rectitude. This baffles me, given that the SDMB leans left on social and political issues and is generally rife with snarky cynicism and contrarian thinking. I have never seen what you describe here. Usually these kinds of theads result in a lot of Dopers saying dump the jerk. If you have really seen cotton matherisms on this board, link to them, because I never have. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/90 "2014-06-30T03:38:57Z")
We have been a couple since 05.19.1972, and married since 05 17.1975. We are very happy, but I do not eat orange sherbet ---
**Author:** ![Charley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Charley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charley)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/91 "2014-06-30T04:13:43Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Second time’s the charm. So so much. 10 years, 5 months on this go-round and we’re very happy. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/92 "2014-06-30T07:47:59Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > I have never seen what you describe here. Usually these kinds of theads result in a lot of Dopers saying dump the jerk. If you have really seen cotton matherisms on this board, link to them, because I never have. [This thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=714234) is an excellent example. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/93 "2014-06-30T12:10:03Z")
What about that thread is “lectures on moral rectitude”? I guess there is a certain absence of snark in much of it but even Dopers can’t be smart asses all the time. (Well, some of us can.) Seriously, I still don’t get your point. ---
**Author:** ![Lonnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lonnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lonnie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/94 "2014-06-30T12:31:15Z")
52 years today! Friends for six before that. Both of us are happy. We are taking our family to a steakhouse for dinner. My husband is the first boy/man I ever took home that my Dad approved of. Dad was a good judge of character. (And I still miss him.) My husband has been a good husband, father, and grandfather. We have both had a lot of serious expensive health problems, so it has not all been easy sailing. But when you work together and have each other’s back, home becomes a refuge. Respect for each other seems key to me. And he never once did not put his arms around me when I went to him for a hug. My fear is that I will be left here on this earth without him. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/95 "2014-06-30T13:08:05Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > (1) There is indeed a good deal of self-selection going on. Asking a question like this isn’t the same as a scientifically sampled poll. > > (2) Dopers in general probably are less likely than the general population to be people who stick out unhappy marriages long-term. For example, many who stick out unhappy marriages do so for essentially religious reasons or for the kiddies, and Dopers are, I believe, less likely to be religious or have kids than the average. > > (3) You are making a mistake I see repeated commonly - assuming that a marriage that ends in divorce was always unhappy. That simply is not true. People change. If our relationship advice threads are any indication - Dopers are statistically more likely to bail at the first sign of “I’ve asked him to put down the toilet seat and he ‘forgets!’” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/96 "2014-06-30T13:28:40Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > If our relationship advice threads are any indication - Dopers are statistically more likely to bail at the first sign of “I’ve asked him to put down the toilet seat and he ‘forgets!’” Which is how we…eventually, after several tries…end up with such happy marriages and properly placed toilet seats! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/97 "2014-06-30T15:36:54Z")
The whole 50% of marriages end in divorce! is extremely misleading because it is not at all the case that every marriage has an equal chance of ending in divorce. Most of the people getting divorced married young, have high school or less education and/or are previously divorced. If you are over 30 at first marriage and college educated, which is very common for Dopers, your chance of remaining married is something like 85% ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/98 "2014-06-30T16:11:37Z")
Seventeen years as of April 2014, and I’m _generally_ happy, knock on wood. There are issues - as there are in all marriages lasting this long - but no infidelity, drug problems, or anything similarly major. Again, _knock on wood._ ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/99 "2014-06-30T21:56:11Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > What about that thread is “lectures on moral rectitude”? I guess there is a certain absence of snark in much of it but even Dopers can’t be smart asses all the time. (Well, some of us can.) Seriously, I still don’t get your point. The cloud of sanctimony in that thread seems pretty thick to me, but if you don’t see it, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not the only person who noticed it; a few people did post similar objections to the pile-on (one of them even noted the “Puritanical” tone). ---
**Author:** ![franz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@franz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/franz)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630/100 "2014-07-01T11:50:49Z")
Yes. 20 years and counting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-happily-married/691630.md?page=6)