# Are you infected? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871 "2002-06-13T15:49:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/1 "2002-06-13T15:49:53Z")
Be sure! Check out the [Human Virus Scanner](http://totl.net/VirusScanner/?) today! Don’t wait! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/2 "2002-06-13T16:43:07Z")
My results are below, I left space so I wont ruin the fun for all. Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Industrial Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Politics Stop caring! Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Macintosh Use a mouse with more than one button. Viruses you might suffer from: Pokemon (60%) Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! TotL (85%) Go read Brunching Linux (80%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] British (65%) No need for cure. Benign virus. Japan (60%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. Discordia (90%) Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Free BSD (90%) The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo. Brand Names (85%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Computer Games (60%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Conspiracy Theory (68%) Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Cars (75%) There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/3 "2002-06-13T16:58:36Z")
Viruses I suffer from and suggested cures: **Politics:** Stop caring! **Brand Names:** Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. **Hippyism:** Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Viruses I might suffer from: \*\*Linux (80%):\*\*Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. **Junkfood (75%):** Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. **Industrial (70%):** Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. **Discordia (90%):** Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a Friday. **Computer Games (60%):** Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. **Conspiracy Theory (73%):** Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. (Does this mean I need a tin-foil hat?:)) **Environmentalism (70%):** Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. **Prog Rock (60%):** Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/4 "2002-06-13T17:15:31Z")
## Worrying. Especially the Pokemon thing. Viruses you suffer from: Pokemon Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! Linux Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Cthulhu Read some Enid Blyton. Gaming Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) British No need for cure. Benign virus. Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. vi Escape Meta Alt Control Shift. Politics Stop caring! Computer Games Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Conspiracy Theory Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Viruses you might suffer from: USA (90%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Junkfood (75%) Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Goth (65%) Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney. 8-Bit (90%) Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough. Japan (60%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. UNIX (90%) Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately. Brand Names (90%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Hippyism (93%) Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Environmentalism (70%) Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Macintosh (60%) Use a mouse with more than one button. Prog Rock (60%) Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle. Football (75%) Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/5 "2002-06-13T18:13:47Z")
Hee hee! Viruses you suffer from: **Linux** : Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. **Junkfood** :Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. **Sci-fi** :Stop wearing the stick-on ears. **Free BSD** :The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo. **Religion** :Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) **vi** : Escape Meta Alt Control Shift. **Politics** :Stop caring! **Brand Names** :Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. **Hippyism** :Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. **Computer Games** :Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. **Conspiracy Theory** :Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. **Ultima** :If you find one tell us. **Environmentalism** :Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. **Macintosh** :Use a mouse with more than one button. Viruses you might suffer from: USA (60%) - Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Cthulhu (70%) - Read some Enid Blyton. 8-Bit (70%) - Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough. British (75%) - No need for cure. Benign virus. UNIX (90%) - Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately. X11 (60%) - I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year. Cars (75%) - There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour. Japan (60%) - Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. I think I’m the most heavily infected person here… ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/6 "2002-06-13T19:01:18Z")
Pokemon Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Japan Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth (_Yes! Yes they would! sob OK, maybe not._) Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Politics Stop caring! Brand Names Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. (_agreed_) Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] British (65%) No need for cure. Benign virus. Conspiracy Theory (68%) Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Macintosh (60%) Use a mouse with more than one button. (_So i recognize the apple sign. Big whoop._) Prog Rock (60%) Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle. (_This is bizzare. I don’t even know what it is_) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/7 "2002-06-13T19:24:00Z")
This was fun. My viruses:Human Virus Scanner The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known. Viruses you suffer from: Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. _ya mean like Kraft Mac and Cheese?_ Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Politics Stop caring! _buncha liberal pinko commies!_ Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. \* I have no idea what this means\* Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. _but it’s such a shame to leave perfectly good fresh looking roadkill just laying there._ Viruses you might suffer from: Sci-fi (70%) Stop wearing the stick-on ears.\* hey hey! these **are** my real ears\* Brand Names (70%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good.\*I have a brand name. Really, my last name is Brand \* Conspiracy Theory (80%) Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. _ain’t worried. got me my tin foil hat!_ ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/8 "2002-06-13T19:33:44Z")
Viruses you suffer from: Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Politics Stop caring! Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Conspiracy Theory Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Macintosh Use a mouse with more than one button. Viruses you might suffer from: Linux (95%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Brand Names (70%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. X11 (60%) I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year. Prog Rock (80%) Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/9 "2002-06-13T19:48:01Z")
Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. 8-Bit Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough. Politics Stop caring! Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Computer Games Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Viruses you might suffer from: Linux (93%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. Pokemon (80%) Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! Industrial (70%) Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. Religion (70%) Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) UNIX (60%) Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately. Discordia (60%) Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Brand Names (95%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. X11 (90%) I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year. Ultima (90%) If you find one tell us. Macintosh (80%) Use a mouse with more than one button. Southampton (69%) Move to the Isle of Wight. Yeah… ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/10 "2002-06-13T21:28:42Z")
Industrial is a virus??? _One you lock the taaah-get Two you bait the liiiine…_ ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/11 "2002-06-13T21:48:04Z")
Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Politics Stop caring! Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Viruses you might suffer from: USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Industrial (70%) Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. British (80%) No need for cure. Benign virus. Brand Names (80%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Computer Games (60%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Conspiracy Theory (68%) Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Macintosh (60%) Use a mouse with more than one button. ---
**Author:** ![JessEnigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@JessEnigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JessEnigma)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/12 "2002-06-13T22:02:41Z")
Viruses you suffer from: Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Politics Stop caring! Brand Names Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Conspiracy Theory Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Viruses you might suffer from: Pokemon (60%) Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! Linux (80%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Industrial (70%) Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. Japan (60%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. Discordia (90%) Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Free BSD (90%) The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo. Computer Games (60%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Macintosh (60%) Use a mouse with more than one button. jessica ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/13 "2002-06-14T01:57:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by swampbear \* > Discordia > Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. \* I have no idea what this means_ [Here](http://www.ology.org/principia/) ---
**Author:** ![VDarlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e56c9b/32.png) [@VDarlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VDarlin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/14 "2002-06-14T02:13:09Z")
It’s not my fault, honest. My 7 year old son is a Pokemon freak! Viruses you suffer from: Pokemon Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! TotL Go read Brunching Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Politics Stop caring! Brand Names Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Conspiracy Theory Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Viruses you might suffer from: Linux (80%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] British (60%) No need for cure. Benign virus. Japan (90%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. Free BSD (90%) The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo. Macintosh (60%) Use a mouse with more than one button. ~V ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/15 "2002-06-14T02:54:01Z")
Pokemon - Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now! TotL - Go read Brunching Linux - Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. Junkfood - Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Sci-fi - Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Goth - Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney. Industrial - Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. Religion - Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) British - No need for cure. Benign virus. Discordia - Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Politics - Stop caring! Brand Names - Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Hippyism - Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Computer Games - Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Conspiracy Theory - Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Environmentalism - Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Viruses you might suffer from: USA (70%) - Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Free BSD (80%) - The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo. BBCB (70%) - CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: “Mode 7 was not a good thing.” 8-Bit (70%) - Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough. Japan (90%) - Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. Southampton (85%) - Move to the Isle of Wight. Macintosh (80%) - Use a mouse with more than one button. Prog Rock (60%) - Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/16 "2002-06-14T06:28:12Z")
Guilty! * * * Viruses you suffer from: USA Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Gaming Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Politics Stop caring! Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Conspiracy Theory Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Viruses you might suffer from: Linux (80%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. Industrial (70%) Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band. British (95%) No need for cure. Benign virus. Free BSD (90%) The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo. Brand Names (95%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Computer Games (60%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Environmentalism (73%) Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Prog Rock (60%) Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle. Japan (60%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/17 "2002-06-14T07:23:08Z")
I don’t get it. Here are my results: Viruses you suffer from: None! Viruses you might suffer from: Free BSD (90%) The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/18 "2002-06-14T07:23:38Z")
My results… Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears. Religion Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy) 8-Bit Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough. Politics Stop caring! Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle. Viruses you might suffer from: Linux (80%) Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it. USA (70%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat] Junkfood (60%) Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture. Discordia (60%) Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday. Brand Names (70%) Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good. Computer Games (90%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs. Conspiracy Theory (68%) Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary. Hippyism (93%) Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss. Macintosh (80%) Use a mouse with more than one button. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-infected/113871/19 "2002-06-14T07:37:16Z")
Posted in my LJ early this night (hey it’s still dark out!) Viruses you suffer from: None! Viruses you might suffer from: TotL (85%) Go read Brunching British (65%) No need for cure. Benign virus. Prog Rock (60%) Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle.