# Are you looking for stocking stuffers?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 17, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983 "2010-11-17T15:22:18Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/1 "2010-11-17T15:22:18Z")

</div>

Let me submit [bacon bandages](http://www.perpetualkid.com/bacon-bandages.aspx). We’ve done bacon salt. We did the maple-bacon lollipops. This year the bacon in the stockings will have fewer calories.

What else should I be getting?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/2 "2010-11-17T15:30:58Z")

</div>

This made me laugh like a hyena.

How about [canned unicorn meat](http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/e5a7/)?  
They also have [bacon envelopes](http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/d4f6/).

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/3 "2010-11-17T15:55:06Z")

</div>

I want bacon lip balm.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/4 "2010-11-17T22:15:56Z")

</div>

The best thing to stuff stockings with are the legs of a lovely woman.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/5 "2010-11-17T22:20:28Z")

</div>

> [@Antigen](#):
>
> I want bacon lip balm.

I actually have some. Seriously. My friend ran across some in a store, and thought it would be funny to buy it for the most bacon-obsessed person she knows. It doesn’t actually taste or smell like bacon, but it’s fun to have.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/6 "2010-11-17T22:22:22Z")

</div>

> [@AskNott](#):
>
> The best thing to stuff stockings with are the legs of a lovely woman.

But do they smell like bacon?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\
**Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-looking-for-stocking-stuffers/560983/7 "2010-11-18T00:31:46Z")

</div>

> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#):
>
> How about [canned unicorn meat](http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/e5a7/)?

They got [threatened with a lawsuit](http://techland.com/2010/06/21/think-geek-gets-cease-and-desist-for-april-fools-day-canned-unicorn-meat/) over that one.