# Are You Lost Royalty? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 12, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879 "2001-11-12T05:27:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/41 "2001-11-12T14:29:02Z")
I shall henceforth be known as **Baroness of The Wonkavator** **Provost Emeritus of Wieners, Darth [my full name]** **Provost of Thick Candy Shells** mmmm, M&Ms! ---
**Author:** ![johnboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e47c2d/32.png) [@johnboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnboy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/42 "2001-11-12T14:31:25Z")
I am “Associate Fuhrer-In-Training of Baby Monkeys, Johnboy, the Ninth.” I like monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/43 "2001-11-12T15:01:47Z")
Either **Sister Nymysys, Co-Captain in Training of Panties** or \*\*Sorceress of The Lego Coalition, Lady Nymy “Toastmaster” Sys \*\* I dunno where the “Toastmaster” came from, but it has a certain ring to it. Maybe I can combine them and lord over lego panties? It’s worth a try. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/44 "2001-11-12T15:33:17Z")
My three options: Prince of People Who Say “Turn That Frown Upside Down” Speaker of The Divison For Investigating Cowboy Spurs Viscount of Stoopid Title Generators, Patrick Middlename Partoflastname, the Seventy-Twoth Yeahhh . . . ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/45 "2001-11-12T15:35:00Z")
Oh-KAY then. **Major Attaché of Naughty Bits, Sir lno** I’ll just go right back to work now. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/46 "2001-11-12T15:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > **Are You Lost Royalty?** No, I’m just Royally Lost… [sub]Who am I? Who are you? What’s for breakfast? Where am I going? And why am I in this handbasket?[/sub] Sincerely, Drag Queen of Ramen Flava’ Packets, **Reginald Tygr** \*Vibratron™ Mining & Heavy Industries: Several Steps Behind The New Economy! \* ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/47 "2001-11-12T15:42:43Z")
Gave it a couple’a tries…got myself declared “El Jefe of the Olson Twins” which sounds more like a curse, then wound up with: Gardener of Sidewalks, Darth Kilt-Wearin’ Man With the tagline at the bottom that made it all worth while: “We are all Kosh.” ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/48 "2001-11-12T15:48:10Z")
On my first (and only, this time) try, I came up with **Sorceress of The Right Side of Stating The Obvious, Señora True Pisces, Pooky Butt** Certainly seems to fit me - ask anyone! ---
**Author:** ![moe.ron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ed8c4c/32.png) [@moe.ron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moe.ron)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/49 "2001-11-12T16:57:14Z")
\*\* Sovereign of Raping and Pilaging \*\* These people know way too much about my personal life ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/50 "2001-11-12T17:05:16Z")
I’m the: **Marquis of No Pants, Lord Reginald Jim IV** Or: **Lesser Moff of Invincible Sand Castles, Lord Jim H. Ellis** (they have me confused with **JoeyHemlock** ) Lord Jim ---
**Author:** ![slowhand53](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@slowhand53](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowhand53)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/51 "2001-11-12T17:50:11Z")
Mighty Centurion of The Institute for Promotion of The Wonkavator, (insert real name here) … but you still make minimum wage. ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/52 "2001-11-12T17:55:36Z")
Well, I’m glad you guys like it. And if you have any suggestions, please email them to me. Director Junior Grade of The Ridiculous Army of Waking And Baking, Señor Jesse Jensen, The Seldom Lucid ---
**Author:** ![Oncle\_Biere\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Oncle\_Biere\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oncle_Biere_1)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/53 "2001-11-12T18:04:35Z")
\*\*\*Agent-In-Training of Speed Bumps, Mr. Oncle T. Biere \*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/54 "2001-11-12T18:16:42Z")
> [@](#): > > You shall henceforth be known as: > > \*\*Funkmistress of Objectivism, Java Maven Jones \*\* > > Hey, that’s what I call your mom in bed! ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/55 "2001-11-12T18:25:41Z")
**Acting Captain Emeritus of The Inept Navy of Big Beef Burritos Supreme** It’s as if they have peered into the core of my very soul, and undaunted, reflected unflinchingly what was found there. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/56 "2001-11-12T18:47:32Z")
Superintendent of The Alliance of Small Kitchen Appliances My god, I think that’s perfect for a fuckladle like me jar ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/57 "2001-11-12T18:58:16Z")
Maiden Name: Mistress-In-Training of The Ivy League Beer-Funnel Team, Kinsey the XII Married Name: Associate Contessa of Yesterday Morning, Scrumptious Kinsey, Oppressor o’ the Masses ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/58 "2001-11-12T19:04:24Z")
Geez, my name is pretty bland. Not nearly as long or impressive as others. General of Refrigerators, (real name.) Not too interersting, huh? Hmm…I just tried again, apparantly it doesn’t remember me, as I am also ‘CEO of The Right Side of People Who Say “Turn That Frown Upside Down” (real name).’ I like my third try best, however: “Bard Maximus of Beef Jerkey, Mr. (real name)” (I like this one because it’s the first to call me Mr.) ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/59 "2001-11-12T19:13:57Z")
I’ve done this before. I have a whole list I love but here I go again. Co-President of Things That Go “Bump” in the Night, Miss Obsidian Flutterby _Internet Monkey, I have underestimated you_ Associate Cleric Maximus of Paranormal Vegetables Senator of No Pants Über-Princess of Deep Throating, Obsidian Melissa Flutterby _Maybe you should get cosmetic surgery now_ Raja of Various Silly Practices Woman-at-arms of The Black Army of Black Helicopters Lieutenant of Yesterday Morning \*Kiss cookies goodbye, boring title freak! ARRRRR UMMM NUMMM NUMMMM… \* Priestess of Belligerent Psychiatrists Mighty Footsoldier Maximus of The Ridiculous Army of Kicking Oprah’s Ass Yes, I have no life. I love these titles. ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879/60 "2001-11-12T19:14:43Z")
I’m the Minor Alderman of the National Association of Songs About Trains. Darn it! I wanted to be a sorceress! _sniff_ Oh but I like songs about trains! So that’s okay! [sup]mostly ‘Driver 8’ by REM though…[/sup] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-lost-royalty/92879.md?page=4)