# Are YOU marriageable material right now? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283 "2014-09-12T12:58:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/21 "2014-09-12T16:59:50Z")
I like to think I am but I haven’t lived with anyone yet, so I may be fucking awful at it. I’m fucking awful at most aspects of living life, so I’ll probably be bad at that one too. So I guess I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/22 "2014-09-12T18:21:37Z")
I’ve always felt ready to be married. I have been now for a number of years. If something were to happen to my wife, and I met someone I was as drawn to, I would marry again. As far as being “marriageable material,” I’ve worked since I was a teen, have a house and the prospect of continued employment, am interpersonally pleasant with no name-calling, hitting, or substance abuse, and will spring up in the night to fetch my beloved a glass of water, so yes, if those are appealing characteristics, I’m still potentially marriageable. But only to a cat lesbian/bisexual. I don’t go for the dog lesbians. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/23 "2014-09-12T18:24:06Z")
Pretending my beloved doesn’t exist… From a love/respect/fun point of view then yup! From a make enough money to support a family and start boinking out little ones…probably not and from a make love every night with sex toys, buffaloes, experimentation, David Brenner, broken headboards…oh yeah… ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/24 "2014-09-12T18:24:10Z")
God no. I’m a douchebag. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/25 "2014-09-12T18:33:34Z")
I don’t think so. I just don’t trust that anyone would want to be with me forever and not leave. I’m also pretty set in my ways and it would be tough to adjust to someone else. Also, I am celibate till marriage and who would sign up for that. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/26 "2014-09-12T18:33:36Z")
No. Apart from the fact that I don’t have the desire, I am way too independent to be partnered with someone in a traditional sense. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/27 "2014-09-12T19:07:27Z")
Men seem to think I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/28 "2014-09-12T19:12:34Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > Men seem to think I’m not. Haha right? Maybe we are but the problem is convincing others of the fact! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/29 "2014-09-12T19:14:04Z")
Sure, I guess, in that I’m not currently married but not categorically opposed to the idea. It would have to be fairly soon, though, since I’m 38, female, and really do not see the point of marriage if there is no possibility of having children. (That is, of course I’m fine with _other_ people being married who can’t or don’t want to have children, but for me it is a package deal.) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/30 "2014-09-12T19:17:11Z")
My wife insists I’m not. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/31 "2014-09-12T19:57:57Z")
This is an interesting question for me to ponder. I’ve been married previously. I don’t currently have marriage as a goal, and I’m not sure I’d even say I’m willing to be surprised. I do think however, that (in the event of a Skald type hypothetical scenario in which I were required to marry) that those past experiences have given me the tools to be a good partner. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/32 "2014-09-12T20:27:47Z")
I’m a few months separated, the divorce is final by the end of this year. So no, not ready. I’m damaged goods. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/33 "2014-09-12T20:50:09Z")
Nope. And I’m not sure I’ll ever be. I like my solitude. The only way I can imagine being married is if we maintained separate residences (so we could go to our own spaces every so often) or we had a REALLY BIG house. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/34 "2014-09-12T20:50:13Z")
My wife has stuck with me for 18 years, so I suppose I am. Until we met I didn’t draw much interest, even though I was gainfully employed, dependable, and not that hard to look at. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/35 "2014-09-12T21:25:00Z")
I’d like to think I am. The men that I find marriageable do not share that opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/36 "2014-09-12T21:42:37Z")
I find it very difficult to ponder the potential of a relationship without some sense of who I’d be in the relationship with. Am I marriageable material right now? In the broadest sense, yes. But of all the married couples I’ve known, no two of them seem to do it exactly alike. So for me the more interesting question is: “for a given woman, X, are you ready for the type of marriage you and X could make together?” That’s also a tougher question to answer. Yes, I know I phrased that like an algebra question. That could be part of the problem. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/37 "2014-09-12T21:47:48Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > God no. I’m a douchebag. +1. Just ask my ex-wife. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/38 "2014-09-12T21:59:51Z")
I am and always have been NOT marriage material. And yet I am married. I just shouldn’t be. Doesn’t suit me. ETA: I told you I was trouble; you know that I’m no good. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/39 "2014-09-12T23:10:50Z")
No, believe it or not, I can be quite selfish and an asshole. I am genuinely eccentric too and it isn’t getting any better as I get older and I don’t want it to. I never really saw the point in marriage in the first place even though I did it for 10 years mainly to have kids. Now that is finished, it serves no purpose for me. You might as well ask me if I want to sell myself into slavery in Africa for the right price. It is just a different version of the same question to me. Out of all the married couples I have known in my life, at least 75% have been open about their unhappiness and the vast majority of the remaining ones have been really bad actors using marriage as a cover for some other more terrible thing. I only know of 3 couples in my whole life that have shown good evidence that they really are happy and better off being together for the long term. There are plenty of books, advise columns and TV shows that will give you advise on how to grind through daily married life and somehow manage to keep both the courts and police away for decades at a time. They will also tell you that it takes a whole lot of ‘work’ and you have to give up most of yourself and just surrender to your fate in the process. What they won’t tell you is why you should be doing it in the first place if it requires that much pain and sacrifice. I don’t know about you but I don’t like either of those things. It is like the old joke. ‘Doctor, it hurts when I do this!’. The doctor replies, ‘Well stop doing that.’ That is the way I feel about marriage. Being single is awesome in all sorts of ways and marriage usually fails in small and big ways even if you don’t get a divorce. Why the do concerned people keep telling me that I really need to get married again? I think they are jealous because I have found one of the biggest cheat codes in life. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2014, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283/40 "2014-09-12T23:44:23Z")
I’m 51, and though I’ve asked, no luck. I would have liked a wife kids. I guess I’m too old now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-marriageable-material-right-now/698283.md?page=3)