# Are you more or less confrontational on the SDMB than in real life? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 23, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807 "2004-03-23T00:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thaumaturge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@Thaumaturge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thaumaturge)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/21 "2004-03-23T07:37:00Z")
Less confrontational here. This place has a higher incidence of intelligent people, which means you have to phrase your arguments more carefully and with better precision. Also, a post can be analysed over a longer period of time. In day to day life, I find that I can argue circles around most of the people I know, and must admit that I take evil pleasure in it. Most people are just so poorly informed about the world they inhabit, it’s like they live in a TV induced fog. I do my part to fight ignorance outside the board. ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/22 "2004-03-23T07:52:52Z")
Less confrontational here, I think because, in general (not always), I don’t consider the ones that confront me here worth the time/effort, whereas in real life there are no ignore buttons or big X’s in the upper right hand corner. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/23 "2004-03-23T08:03:12Z")
[indent] **kniz** [/indent] [indent]BANNED[/indent] That along with pointing out there are no “moderators” in my life, should give enough of a hint. I’m really not sure how I survived the first 600 posts, since I never read the rules and crossed posters like **Collounsbury** , **Monty** and **Red Boss** among others. After that I decided to just be annoying. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/24 "2004-03-23T08:15:52Z")
I’d say less confrontational also. There’s things I’ve seen posted here, that I’d probably be less inclined to pass over, had they been said to me IRL. I figure a lot of the time, it’s a misunderstanding. As others have pointed out, I think it’s easier in the day to day, to predict how my words are going to come across. I don’t think I started out that way here, though. I once responded to someone in a very snarky way, and by the time I realized that I had been whooshed, the thread was locked, and then I had to go to e-mail to apologize. The whole thing was stupid, and I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt now, and hope they do the same for me. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/25 "2004-03-23T09:04:48Z")
Oh, WAY more confrontational here. I’m much more shy in real life. I think it’s great - where else can you have a really good, knock-down, drag-out argument about something without it coming to blows? In real life, I spend a lot of time biting my tongue when people say stupid things, because it’s always a good idea to get along with people. Here, we don’t have to do that; we’re all on equal footing. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/26 "2004-03-23T10:43:18Z")
I’m much, much more confrontational in real life. I have no idea why I’m such a wuss on these boards. Probably for the reasons **Thaumaturge** and **wmulax93** brought up earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/27 "2004-03-23T12:26:28Z")
> [@Airman Doors](#): > > Believe it or not, I’m less confrontational here. Yes, well, considering you drop bombs on people in real life for a living… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/28 "2004-03-23T13:36:06Z")
I don’t even venture into Great Debates. People like to think they are objective and non-confrontational, and a few stick to a hard nosed fact-based debate, but often the confrontational nature wears on me. Even in GQ, things get confrontational, but the answer is a bit more narrow in many circumstances, and if it isn’t, it goes into IMHO. In real life, I prey on the weak and uninformed and attack them until they cry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/29 "2004-03-23T14:16:59Z")
Less confrontational but equally sarcastic IRL. Mostly because I avoid politics and religious discussions in real life. Especially at work. I have a good friend with whom I can have discussions similar to Great Debates. He is very much of a liberal, but a thoughtful and well informed liberal, and we have the sort of understanding that we can go at it hammer and tongs about the Presidency or economic and social policy, but not have it affect the friendship. This is not always possible, unfortunately, as I have learned with some people. But people aren’t used to the kind of debating we do in GD. They aren’t often sure how to react when I say, “I don’t think that is correct, and here is a reference that demonstrates my point.” I was discussing something similar (farm conditions for chickens, of all things), and he reacted poorly to my tactics of stating a point, and then demonstrating the math that underlay it. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/30 "2004-03-23T14:27:52Z")
I’m much less confrontational here … I think … I hate to be misunderstood and that is extremely common on the boards. With a real person it’s easier to say “Wait, no, you’re not understanding me properly, let me rephrase” where on the boards, the thread has gone to its fourth page of train wrecking before you realize you were misunderstood, and there’s not much point derailing further … Also, I don’t like to argue with people who will never agree with me, and the only people on the boards that you really want to call out are the ones you know will never agree with you. Even if most people here aren’t going to come in and tell you what a nasty person you are for thinking what you think, there’s always someone that will. So I usually keep quiet and watch the show. Whereas in real life, there are always people around (particularly since I’ve been in school) who disagree with me but who are interested in talking and learning, rather than shouting and being right. And sometimes people here are actually interested in discussion, rather than confrontation, and I can get sucked into those. But mostly, IRL my ‘style’ is kind of sarcastic and I haven’t figured out how to make that play on the screen, so I usually try to keep it to a minimum. Y’all can’t see the twinkle in my eye when I post … Actually, tho, there’s kind of a crossover … I’ll read something on the boards that I think is ludicrous, but I don’t want to get into it on the boards, so I’ll tell someone IRL “I read the craziest thing …” and then possibly get into a confrontation with _them_ … ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/31 "2004-03-23T16:02:25Z")
Since I come here to socialize and generally just chill, I don’t think I’m ever confrontational. I avoid GD, and if I’m in the Pit, it’s to complain, not to attack. However, since being a member and reading all the different things I have, I’m not as tolerant of idiocy or narrow-mindedness IRL. I’ve found myself calling coworkers and others on their inanity - when it matters. Obviously, I’m not going to waste my time with a passerby who says something stupid, but if it’s someone I have to deal with regularly who is slogging thru ignorance, I’ll do what I must. I’m still nice about it - I can’t help it! But I no longer remain silent if speaking up makes a difference. Doin’ my little part to eradicate ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/32 "2004-03-23T16:47:30Z")
> [@Thaumaturge](#): > > Less confrontational here. This place has a higher incidence of intelligent people, which means you have to phrase your arguments more carefully and with better precision. Also, a post can be analysed over a longer period of time. In day to day life, I find that I can argue circles around most of the people I know, and must admit that I take evil pleasure in it. Ditto. Couldn’t have said it better myself. In fact, I often can’t say it better myself on the SDMB. Part of why I’m less confrontational as well I suppose. I don’t need to be, other people have it covered. I just stand behind them and go “Yeah! What _he_ said!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/33 "2004-03-23T17:06:54Z")
More confrontational here. I’m much nicer IRL, but my evil twin sometimes takes over online. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/34 "2004-03-23T19:12:16Z")
Usually less confrontational, but… 😛 > [@Shodan](#): > > But people aren’t used to the kind of debating we do in GD. They aren’t often sure how to react when I say, “I don’t think that is correct, and here is a reference that demonstrates my point.” I was discussing something similar (farm conditions for chickens, of all things), and he reacted poorly to my tactics of stating a point, and then demonstrating the math that underlay it. In a way, that sounds nice. When I try to debate things, I end up running into people who not only demonstrate that my citation is from a biased source (if it is; I’m getting much better at finding reasonable sources), they offer countercites and appeals to their accuracy from myriad sources. (Well, when it’s feasible, anyway.) Plus, you have the added advantage of real-time conversation. Around here, my brain shifts all too quickly into neutral. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/35 "2004-03-23T21:44:45Z")
I’m about as confrontational here as I am in real life. I don’t make any effort to present myself differently on the boards than I do face-to-face. I hope somebody who meets me in person wouldn’t be surprised at all based on what they know about me from my online presence. However, I do assert myself about a slightly different range of subjects. While I’m as happy talking about movies here as in person, I don’t tell anyone (well, hardly anyone) that I’m an atheist, and a strong one at that, except for here on the boards. With that and other less important exceptions, I’m perfectly able to get up in someone’s grill if they start talking about ouija boards or some other piece of irretrievably stupid bullshit, or if they drop one of those old discredited canards into conversation about humans using one-eighth of their brains or that there aren’t any homosexual animals or whatever. “Actually,” I’ll say immediately, “that probably isn’t true,” and then I’ll spike the argument with great force — but no overt hostility. Unless they try to argue. Then I set phasers on disintegrate. Same as here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/36 "2004-03-23T22:19:52Z")
> [@Neurotik](#): > > Yes, well, considering you drop bombs on people in real life for a living… 😉 Nope. Actually, I [bore them to death](http://globalspecops.com/ec130.html) if they don’t surrender first. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/37 "2004-03-23T22:44:04Z")
I try to respond to people here just the same as I would in real life. To a certain degree I maybe slightly more confrontational, but that’s just because of the nature of the forums. People come to GQ or GD to have questions answered or to debate, so I’m more comfortable pointing out errors or strongly disagreeing with someone than I would be at a cocktail party. On the other hand, I try to treat people with as much civility here as I would in the real world, and maybe more so, since I can wait until I cool down to post something. I won’t call somebody a brainless d\*ckhead unless I would do so to their face in the real world, which I normally wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![kellner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kellner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellner)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/38 "2004-03-23T22:53:27Z")
Although I am not extremely confrontational IRL, I love to debate just about everything when I find a willing opponent. Here I would enjoy doing the same, but language holds me back. In a foreign language I am about as eloquent as a five-year-old. I am slow, I have disadvantages in judging the exact tone of my own and other posts and once in a while I have to check the dictionary. In any confrontation I am bound to lose, or I can’t contribute significantly to my own side. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/39 "2004-03-23T22:58:36Z")
> [@kellner](#): > > In a foreign language I am about as eloquent as a five-year-old. I am slow, I have disadvantages in judging the exact tone of my own and other posts and once in a while I have to check the dictionary. If you were as articulate in German when you were five as you are in English now, then stop beating yourself up! You’re doing just fine. There are plenty of native English speakers around here who could stand to check a dictionary once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807/40 "2004-03-23T23:11:22Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Now, just thinking off the top of my pointy head, I’d pay to see the responses to the OP’s question from certain others here, particularly **Aldebaran** , **Brutus** and **askeptic** … Why? Salaam. A [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-more-or-less-confrontational-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/235807.md?page=3)