# Are you OK with porn stars as neighbors, friends, teachers & babysitters? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 19, 2015, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954 "2015-06-19T16:41:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/21 "2015-06-19T22:26:21Z")
I’d generally be more concerned about what others might do and say to them than anything they could do or say to me or my loved ones. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2015, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/22 "2015-06-19T23:40:12Z")
Assuming the person isn’t a jerk, I wouldn’t have any issues. Porn star is like bank manager - high in the (pardon the expression) pecking order and basically as professional as any other professional. Some $5 handjob hooker may be an issue for me but once you (again pardon the expression) claw your way up to at least the strip club level, I’m OK with it. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2015, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/23 "2015-06-19T23:46:11Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > … Some $5 handjob hooker may be an issue for me… Man it’s cheap in PA… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/24 "2015-06-20T00:43:48Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Man it’s cheap in PA… Scaled pricing, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/25 "2015-06-20T00:57:07Z")
It’s fine. We are sexual creatures, some a little moreso than others. I know women who have lost count of around 60, I’m sure most attractive, highly sexual people have likely had a lot of partners, pheraps more than some porn stars. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/26 "2015-06-20T01:10:53Z")
I have no problem with it. If somebody has issues that would be different, but I’m not going to look down on a porn star just for getting paid to do something people gladly do for free. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/27 "2015-06-20T01:52:45Z")
I have no problem with the women, but I would never leave one of the men in charge of my children or a classroom. Have any of you seen “mainstream” porn lately? It’s not _Deep Throat_ or _Insatiable_ with Marilyn Chambers; it is misogynistic, abusive material. Any man who is willing to have violent sex on film for $100 a day is not someone I’d want to be around, as a neighbor or friend. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/28 "2015-06-20T02:44:14Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > I have no problem with the women, but I would never leave one of the men in charge of my children or a classroom. Have any of you seen “mainstream” porn lately? It’s not _Deep Throat_ or _Insatiable_ with Marilyn Chambers; it is misogynistic, abusive material. > > Any man who is willing to have violent sex on film for $100 a day is not someone I’d want to be around, as a neighbor or friend. Maybe I don’t watch enough mainstream porn but just who are these men being misogynistic to, if not the women in porn? Or are you just saying that the men should be holding out for more money? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/29 "2015-06-20T03:35:20Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > Maybe I don’t watch enough mainstream porn but just who are these men being misogynistic to, if not the women in porn? > > Or are you just saying that the men should be holding out for more money? 🙂 They’re misogynistic toward the women: pulling hair, twisting tits, smacking hard enough to leave handprints, spitting, abusive language. I think the women are stupid, and damaged, for submitting to it, but I don’t think they get off on hurting people. The men get off on hurting people. The reason I speculated on their motives regarding pay is that if a college guy could make $500 a day by slapping women around on film, maybe that’s an incentive to make porn. I never made $500 a day in college. But the dudes make less than they would waiting tables. Obviously, they’re doing it for another reason; I suspect it’s because they enjoy having sex that way. And I think that’s gross. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/30 "2015-06-20T03:47:07Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > My impression, justified or not, is that porn stars are often (not always, but more often than the “general population”) damaged people: they have substance abuse problems; they have a history of being abused or molested; they have mental health issues, etc. I would have to know more about whether this was true, in general and/or about the particular individual, before I could answer the OP’s question. I’d go with this. It’s bad enough leaving kids with _anybody_, let alone somebody who has been in that lifestyle. The indiscriminate sex isn’t a problem, it’s the drugs and damaged psyche. Of course, I suspect that not all porn stars are on drugs, but, the consensus seems to be in line with **Thudlow Boink’s** assessment. As for friendship, neighbors, etc… I’m perfectly OK with it. Unless it’s a smoking hot babe…then, every asshole in the state would be hanging around, coming over, etc… at all hours of the day and night. If it’s a washed up female ex, then fine. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/31 "2015-06-20T03:52:43Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > They’re misogynistic toward the women: pulling hair, twisting tits, smacking hard enough to leave handprints, spitting, abusive language. > > I think the women are stupid, and damaged, for submitting to it, but I don’t think they get off on hurting people. The men get off on hurting people. > > The reason I speculated on their motives regarding pay is that if a college guy could make $500 a day by slapping women around on film, maybe that’s an incentive to make porn. I never made $500 a day in college. But the dudes make less than they would waiting tables. Obviously, they’re doing it for another reason; I suspect it’s because they enjoy having sex that way. And I think that’s gross. This reminds me of something our “resident pornographer” said in a [thread from a few months ago](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=749371): > [@Another AMA for the (not so) Amateur Porn Director](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/35): > > I have said many times that this industry is destined to attract two types of men, those who love women and those who hate them, of late we seem to be innundated with the ones that hate them. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/32 "2015-06-20T04:04:31Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The sheer volume of porn that now exists would lead me to suspect that a lot of women have done some kind of porn - probably enough of them that almost everyone under 40 knows co-workers, relatives, friends et al. who’ve done some porn. That doesn’t make them porn STARS, I guess, but they’ve done some porn. > > Given the vast number of women who have shot at least a cheap porn video or two I also have trouble accepting that they’re all broken. Heck, I knew a woman in a professional capacity once who, with a few drinks in her, told me she’d been an escort. She was a pretty with it woman, didn’t seem broken at all, but for a couple of years was an escort? Why? “It was an exciting way to make a lot of money in university.” Are there any porn STARS anymore, earning big money from it? How, given that there is so much free porn available? And given how the young people of today are so free about taking naked & sexual photos of themself, and sending them off to their boyfriend/girlfriend of the moment (who can send them on to anyone else – if not then, after they break up – how long do highschool relationships average – 60-90 days?), and given how well google/facebook/etc. are indexing all the data out there, soon everyone under 30 will have naked/sexual pictures available somewhere on the internet, and available to be found. So everybody will be a porn star! ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/33 "2015-06-20T04:57:10Z")
A friend of mine lives in an area of LA where some porn actresses live and he’s friendly with some of them. He says that even the ones he’s friends with carry a bit more baggage with them than he wants to get even peripherally involved in. Cause it gets tiring listening to someone continually complain about the same poor decisions or repeating the same sort of mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/34 "2015-06-20T06:39:10Z")
They should be treated like anyone else. What’s the problem? ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/35 "2015-06-20T07:15:10Z")
I’d be predjudiced, but keep an open mind. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/36 "2015-06-20T13:00:00Z")
If he/she is an A-hole, then yeah, get lost. If they are cool, then welcome. Mortgages are for 30 years generally & Good neighbors are worth their weight in gold. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/37 "2015-06-20T13:03:47Z")
Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d actually rather live next to a porn star than, say, a fundamentalist. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/38 "2015-06-20T14:46:44Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Friends, neighbors, and baby sitter would pose no problem at all. My only objection to having one as a teacher would be the distraction to the class if/when their past became common knowledge. I fail to see how a kindergartener would know who Tracy Lords was … [OK, Hyapatia Lee? I don’t really know more than a couple names of 70s vintage porn actresses, mainly from threads here =)] > [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > Sure, why not? It’s not like they’re Unclean just from doing porn and must be shunned by all us proper ladies and gentlemen. If they had a history of hard drug use or mental health issues, then I’d want to be assured that the drug use was long over and the mental health problems were in check before turning my hypothetical kids over to their care, but I’d feel the same way about anyone else with that baggage. This. > [@Lightnin](#): > > Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. > > I’d actually rather live next to a porn star than, say, a fundamentalist. This. I would have serious issues with some damned biblepounder trying to turn my kid into a prejudiced, ill educated kneejerk reactionary following a book written thousands of years ago as the only true source of wisdom. Someone with a previously odd career/habit choice? I am more than certain that there are more closet ‘freaks’ with sexual choices that are just as excessive but not commercially profitable around us and we know absolutely nothing about it. If you are not in my circle of personal friends, you would not know anything about me - I might have a lover in 30 different states and have monthly orgies as I visit each of them in turn, or I might be monogamistically happily married. I could tell you that I have a dungeon in my barn and currently have 3 guys hanging there waiting to service me [heh] But unless/until you are a personal friend and in my circle, you have absolutely no idea what the truth is. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/39 "2015-06-20T16:04:44Z")
I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I have more respect for a porn star, than I have for a deadbeat who sits back and collects welfare. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954/40 "2015-06-20T19:04:06Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > They’re misogynistic toward the women: pulling hair, twisting tits, smacking hard enough to leave handprints, spitting, abusive language. > > I think the women are stupid, and damaged, for submitting to it, but I don’t think they get off on hurting people. The men get off on hurting people. > > The reason I speculated on their motives regarding pay is that if a college guy could make $500 a day by slapping women around on film, maybe that’s an incentive to make porn. I never made $500 a day in college. But the dudes make less than they would waiting tables. Obviously, they’re doing it for another reason; I suspect it’s because they enjoy having sex that way. And I think that’s gross. Well, my point is that I don’t see much difference between a man who likes to hit women and a woman who likes to be hit. Which is not to say that people who like violent sex are bad, but it is to say that I still think people who are going to do that on camera have made some poor choices. If violent porn is a poor choice for a man, it’s a poor choice for a woman too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ok-with-porn-stars-as-neighbors-friends-teachers-babysitters/722954.md?page=3)