# Are you on the autism spectrum, or is a loved-one? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 30, 2006, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369 "2006-11-30T19:17:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/21 "2010-07-29T14:33:23Z")
1. Who is it on the autism spectrum? My five year old daughter is in the dx process and has been for a while because she keeps changing and growing through therapy. When she was three she was almost completely non-verbal. Now her language comp. scores test her around 4 years, but I think she tests well because there’s less stress than every day. Anyway, the improvement has made the dx process longer. She’s had all sorts of neuro and psychiatric tests and they all have her having features but they want to give her one more year before they put the label on her. You’d never realize unless you’ve been through it how hard the dx process is. So many times I hear it’s being over-diagnosed but I must have the most conservative psychiatrist and pediatricians in the world. Also, my niece has a much more severe case. 1. When was the condition diagnosed? Oh. I think I answered this already! 1. Briefly describe the person and their condition: 2. What have you done to improve the functioning/capabilities of this individual? She has OT and Speech therapy once a week at a clinic and we do Vital Sounds listening therapy twice a day. I am so happy with that therapy and we’ve seen a HUGE improvement since she started in January. I’d recommend it to anyone with sensory and language issues. During the school year she gets Speech twice a week in addition to going to the clinic. She has an IEP set up to address her special needs. Since she was born I haven’t worked. When she was a baby…oh man…she was a VERY difficult baby. Cried all the time. Never in two years did she develop a sleep pattern. I felt like I was losing my MIND. She didn’t sleep 8 full hours until she was almost four years old. She still only sleeps around eight hours and has a really hard time calming down to sleep. Pressure massage and back scratching helps. She has a weighted blanket, and in speech she uses a weighted stuffed animal on her lap to keep her settled. Her psychiatrist suspects she probably has ADHD as well. Or it could just be hyperactivity due to the sensory processing issues. 5. Any questions/concerns for your fellow Dopers? I have been wondering about SS benefits myself. I probably wouldn’t get any help until she’s officially diagnosed? I probably need to look in to that stuff. I’m not big on taking money but we really could use it. I could provide so many more manipulatives and aids if we had some extra cash. I don’t know where to start though. I am hoping it isn’t one of those deals where you have to hire a lawyer and pay to get help. I should probably look into it but my own anxiety holds ME back. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/22 "2010-07-29T14:44:25Z")
And I didn’t realize this was an old thread, but hey, it’s all good. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/23 "2010-07-29T14:47:35Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Her recommendation is for a full eval at the autism clinic. This of course can take months to schedule. > > > > China bambina has issues stemming from hypoxic damage at birth. Now she’s 5 1/2. I’m learning that since there is no proven medical cause for autism, the diagnosis is based on behavior. China bambina certainly has some of the behaviors (hand flapping, delays, less than normal eye contact, etc). It doesn’t seem to matter what the cause of the behaviors is only that one exhibits the behaviors. > > ChinaGuy, I would also see about doing a full evalution at a cerebal Palsy clinic or something with Easter Seals or another place that is experianced with dealing with general developmental delays. > There IS “dead on” classic autism out there, and it does affect a lot of kids. > HOWEVER, I do think that a lot of docs and medical experts are forgetting that not all nereological oddities = autism. Like a kid with a learning disabilty can have a social-emotional delay but that doesn’t mean they have autism/Asperger’s…it’ just that they have a developmental/nereological issue. Silmaialrly, someone with intelelctucal disabilty who has a social delay is simply manifesating that they have full blown developmental delay rather then just autism. > Make sense? > For example, I have some social emotional issues, BUT that’s due to a combo of being raised orally deaf (oral deaf kids have severe non Aspie/autism social issues) and growing up in this Stepford town. From what I’ve seen, clinics where they do autism diagnosis will test for just about everything under the sun first. It should be a rule-out type diagnosis. My daughter has had all sorts of neuro tests in the past two years anyway. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/24 "2010-07-29T15:04:44Z")
Mrs. Homie shows all of the signs of Asperger’s/Autism, but she’s never been diagnosed with her. What good would it do? ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de0a6/32.png) [@Electric\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/25 "2010-07-29T15:09:37Z")
> [@Schuyler](#): > > 1. Who is it on the autism spectrum? My partner, K, has Asperger’s. > [@](#): > > 1. When was the condition diagnosed? At three or four, I think? Somewhere in mid-toddlerhood, anyway. K’s brother is also on the spectrum, and some of their cousins are more toward the classical autism side. > [@](#): > > 1. Briefly describe the person and their condition: If you met them casually, you’d probably have no idea they were on the spectrum. If you got to know them a bit better, you might think they were shy, a bit eccentric and hard to emotionally ‘read’. I don’t really think of it as a condition; it’s just the way K’s brain works, and if it worked any different then they wouldn’t be K. K’s also a huge geek, but in that we’re completely the same. 😛 > [@](#): > > 1. What have you done to improve the functioning/capabilities of this individual? Occasionally I act as an “interpreter” between K and other people, explaining social nuances K misses. It’s a bit like explaining local culture to an immigrant, actually–I think that me being a multicultural kid (I moved from Belgium to America at 10, then to the UK at 20) helps me a little with understanding K. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/26 "2010-07-29T15:22:59Z")
**Electric Sky** , are you aware of any web resources/good books for spouses of Aspies? ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de0a6/32.png) [@Electric\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/27 "2010-07-29T15:32:25Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > **Electric Sky** , are you aware of any web resources/good books for spouses of Aspies? Unfortunately, no. I’ve read a few, but they were either overly clinical or overly…pitying, toward both Aspies and their partners. If you ever want to chat about it, though, send me a PM. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/28 "2010-07-29T15:32:56Z")
Yep. My oldest sister is severly autistic. The rest of us are… special little children. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/29 "2010-07-29T16:45:38Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > Mrs. Homie shows all of the signs of Asperger’s/Autism, but she’s never been diagnosed with her. What good would it do? There’s all sorts of therapies for those who have trouble dealing with symptoms, but a diagnosis also might be a relief if one has wondered for a long time whether or not they have it. If not, they can move on and see if it’s something else. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/30 "2010-07-29T16:54:22Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > > [@HeyHomie](#): > > > > Mrs. Homie shows all of the signs of Asperger’s/Autism, but she’s never been diagnosed with her. What good would it do? > > There’s all sorts of therapies for those who have trouble dealing with symptoms, but a diagnosis also might be a relief if one has wondered for a long time whether or not they have it. If not, they can move on and see if it’s something else. Well I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think I’ll ever convince her to go to therapy. And really, it doesn’t affect her life all that much. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/31 "2010-07-31T07:58:58Z")
> [@](#): > > From what I’ve seen, clinics where they do autism diagnosis will test for just about everything under the sun first. It should be a rule-out type diagnosis. My daughter has had all sorts of neuro tests in the past two years anyway Yes, tell me abt it. I know of people who go " My kid has PDD-NOS" Ummm no they don’t. It’s just the nereological manifesations of the syndrome. Rushgeek, I still would reccomend that ChinaGuy look into organziations like Easter Seals or UCP for an evalution…they can be awesome for conditions that are nereological but not exactly autism ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Stevens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@Mark\_Stevens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Stevens)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/32 "2010-07-31T16:09:32Z")
[quote=“AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet, post:31, topic:382369”] > [@](#): > > I still would reccomend that ChinaGuy look into organziations like Easter Seals or UCP for an evalution…they can be awesome for conditions that are nereological but not exactly autism I’ll keep that in mind as we go down the testing path. I’ve had both Denver Children’s Hospital and Seattle Children’s Hospital plus assorted pediatricians opine that CP is highly unlikely. That said, CP coping therapy may also be applicable. I’m girded for a pretty long process…wait times for the Seattle Children’s autism clinic are 4-6 months.:mad: We have other options though and now it’s wait for that first referral letter. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/33 "2010-07-31T18:59:21Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > > [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > > > > [@HeyHomie](#): > > > > > > Mrs. Homie shows all of the signs of Asperger’s/Autism, but she’s never been diagnosed with her. What good would it do? > > > > There’s all sorts of therapies for those who have trouble dealing with symptoms, but a diagnosis also might be a relief if one has wondered for a long time whether or not they have it. If not, they can move on and see if it’s something else. > > Well I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think I’ll ever convince her to go to therapy. And really, it doesn’t affect her life all that much. That’s great though! If it’s not needed there’s no point. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/34 "2010-07-31T23:40:38Z")
> [@Schuyler](#): > > 1. Who is it on the autism spectrum? > My 12-year-old daughter. > > 2. When was the condition diagnosed? > About two years ago, after 6 years of testing, meetings with all sorts of experts (hearing, sight, mobility, neurology, psychology, everything). > > 3. Briefly describe the person and their condition: > Our daughter is sunny and bright, and enjoys physical games and comedy. She has trouble relating to others, for which her mom and I facilitate frequently. She likes solitary games and make-believe, and it can be hard to break into her world, especially for people with whom she is not familiar. At school, she has a full-time classroom aid who mostly helps her with maintaining focus on academic tasks, and she also goes to Speech and OT 2-3x per week (which she hates if it requires her to leave the classroom). She is at or above grade level on some academic areas (reading, especially), but has trouble following multi-step instructions, understanding verbal directions, and performing fine-motor tasks. She also will happily read (or have read to her) the same books, watch the same video, or play the same game (such as sorting her little plastic animals) for days on end. > > My daughter is very similar to yours. > > She also has specific problems, like following instructions, or coping with conversations in a crowded room. For example, one swimming teacher refused to adapt at all, but another has been wonderful; we go to lessons with him even though it’s further away. > > Most of the time, when she’s with me, I don’t notice she’s any different to the average kid. In group situations, I really do. For example, there’s the time she went round a party full of adults and made them all climb into a compost bin. And filmed them doing so. I thought she was happily talking to a friend of mine that she knew well, but no. > > She also has NO sense of direction. My sense of direction isn’t great, but she still gets lost in our flat - a 2-bedroom one-storey flat that we’ve lived in since she was 5. So I practiced familiar routes over and over and over. Most of the time she would still set off in one direction and would’ve kept going till she fell in the Thames if I hadn’t stopped her, but she’s starting to get it now. > > 1. What have you done to improve the functioning/capabilities of this individual? > Getting her help at school, via the diagnosis, was the big one, because it’s group situations she has the most trouble with. > > I have her copy out lists of everything she needs to regularly do, in time order (that’s important). Seriously, you would not believe how much easier mornings became once she had a list on the wall with things like put left sock, put right sock on, put trousers on,’ etc, broken down in such detail. Before that she’d get to a certain point and then just sit there with a dazed look. > > I tell her teachers about the list thing, and about how she needs to kinda be ‘brought back into the present’ every now and then. She doesn’t necessarily need help with academic tasks - she needs to be reminded that she’s supposed to be on this planet doing algebra, not on Loony Lagoon swimming with the purple dolphins, even though that does sound like more fun. > > 1. Any questions/concerns for your fellow Dopers? > One of our daughter’s special interests is animals, and she loves playing with stuffed/plastic toys, and would love to have a pet. We’ve held off because our current apartment doesn’t allow pets, but when we move I’d like to add a pet to her life. It’s got to be low-maintenance, clean, and gentle. I was thinking a bunny (her favorite) or guinea pig, or maybe a box turtle, any thoughts? > > I also have all sorts of questions about the long-term future: will she grow up generally happy, will she transition well to independent living, will she engage in a career, have a family, etc. Any comforting stories along these lines would be really cool. I don’t have any questions of my own, but to answer yours… My daughter’s still a child, but is doing so much better than she was just a couple of years ago. She has a best friend, who’s lovely (and is a BIG help at school), several interests, and is generally happy. Weirdly, secondary school, which seemed like a nightmarish prospect with all the different rooms and teachers and the big kids and everything, is suiting her much better than primary school. I’ve never had any doubts that she’ll be a happy, successful adult. Some things will be more difficult, but they’re not out of reach. She’s very good with animals. I don’t think the autism plays a part there. Actually, I do have a question: did you tell your daughter her diagnosis? I didn’t, because I didn’t want it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. (Having a helper atschool didn’t stand out, at least not to her). Then one of the teachers told her. Some of her schoolmates have found out now too, and are always asking questions - one of them treats her like a total mental case. I do wish she hadn’t found out yet; it hasn’t explained anything for her because it’s just another way of saying ‘yes, your brain works a little bit differently to the majority of people’s brains,’ which was patently obvious anyway; now it’s as if she has to be this way or that way and always will be. Hopefully what I tell her and do with her will make her understand that that’s not so, but outside influences are very strong. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/35 "2010-07-31T23:58:31Z")
Bugger, I left a quote tag in there and messed it up altogether. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/36 "2010-08-01T00:23:23Z")
I decided to respond to the first post and then read the thread and respond to other posts to avoid having one enormously long post, so didn’t realise it was a zombie thread - sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/37 "2010-08-01T00:37:40Z")
It’s okay. I’m sure I’m not the only one still looking in so maybe we can make up for the zombie-ism. I haven’t even thought about when to tell my daughter! She doesn’t see it yet at her age, but other kids see it. They don’t hesitate wrinkling their noses up and asking what’s wrong with her right in front of her face so I imagine it won’t be long now I’ll have to explain things. She knows she gets to leave class for therapy so I guess that’s how I’ll jump in to a discussion. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/38 "2010-08-01T09:03:32Z")
Mark, Although it might not be CP, the organizations are still really good for services and stuff for kids who might not fit into other specific catagories. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/39 "2010-08-01T09:35:55Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > Yes, tell me abt it. I know of people who go " My kid has PDD-NOS" Ummm no they don’t. It’s just the nereological manifesations of the syndrome. You’ll have to clarify for me. They put it on the same list as OCD or ADHD, and it does have diagnostic criteria. What makes it different from any of these others? Is it the NOS? That it’s one that’s “not otherwise specified”? Because, to me, saying a child has a pervasive developmental disorder makes perfect sense. What distinction are you making between “neurological manifestations” and a mental disorder? ---
**Author:** ![catflea12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@catflea12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catflea12)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369/40 "2010-08-01T11:04:38Z")
My daughter, age 24. with autism/mild mental retardation. (the mr may be because testing is especially hard for my daughter) Diagnosed at age 3 She is very loving and happy, and always has been. She did do the echolalia, handflapping and odd vocalizations when she was younger, but has largely stopped that by now. She has received various therapies/special education courses since she was diagnosed. The school system she was in was very good at handling her autism, in grade school she had a full time aide, and as her verbal skills progressed, they moved her into more mainstream classes in middle and high school. She is very high functioning, although I don’t think she will ever drive a car or be able to live on her own. Right now she lives in a group home, and I hope she will be moving into an assisted living apartment within a year or so. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-on-the-autism-spectrum-or-is-a-loved-one/382369.md?page=3)