# Are You, Or Have You Ever Been A Slut? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2006, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098 "2006-02-12T09:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pensandfeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Pensandfeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pensandfeathers)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/21 "2006-02-13T07:52:14Z")
I’m quite the prude, to be honest. I never realized how big of a prude until I had sex with a friend recently… Some people are cut out for casual whatevers. I however, am not. * * * On a side note - am I the only one getting adverts at the bottom of this page about potty training? ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/22 "2006-02-13T08:50:31Z")
I’ve said this before. I discovered shortly after having sex for the first time that 6 weeks without any makes my really unpleasant to be around. I have some sort of big sex timer that starts to go off once it hits 6 weeks and turns me into a complete bitch. At 17 however, long-term relationships just weren’t what I wanted, so I had a lot of “friends with benefits”. When I hit college, that became more like “guys I met once or twice with benefits”. I also tended to sleep with guys once “just to get it out of the way” before becoming friends with them, my three closest male friends in my class all fit into that bracket. The summer after my first year in college, I met irishfella, so for the last 4.5 years I’ve been slutty, but only with my husband, and the 6 week limit was only an issue when we did the LDR thing…so we met every 6 weeks! ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/23 "2006-02-13T08:53:48Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > I also tended to sleep with guys once “just to get it out of the way” before becoming friends with them, my three closest male friends in my class all fit into that bracket. God bless you. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/24 "2006-02-13T11:52:56Z")
I just wish to make an enquiry; women who call themselves sluts, what did you find pleasurable about it? For me, sex is something you have to make “work” over a period of time. I have never understood women having one night stands for this reason. The first times I have sex with someone are bad. Is all sex good for you? And do you think it’s your body (ie; more sensitive genitals) or your demeanor/approach to sex? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/25 "2006-02-13T14:25:46Z")
I took the Slut test **Queen Tonya** linked to, but took it as if I were still 22 years old, which was probably the high point of my promiscuity. I was labeled 60% slut. Because of a lot of deep, ugly issues in my childhood, I did, indeed have a _very_ promiscuous period between the ages of 14 and 23. By the OPs definition, I’m still a slut because hubby almost never has to beg, or try to convince me or anything. But I don’t think that really counts, because it’s been more than 20 years since I’ve had sex with anyone besides my husband. That is, of course, unless you count the phone sex. I don’t count that, though, because I was playing solitaire on the 'puter through most of those conversations. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/26 "2006-02-13T14:38:43Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Slut” is a really hard word to define. (There’s a mediocre documentary named \*Slut \*which tries to do that and more. They’re only moderately effective.) Using your definition, I’d wager that any married person is a slut: my husband doesn’t have to work to convince me to have sex with him. I’m easy to convince. So yeah, I’m a slut. > > But that’s not really what you meant, is it? I propose a slut is someone who has indiscriminate, unabashed, unashamed sex with multiple partners within a short span of time. All of those, of course, are objective adjectives. > > “Indiscriminate” is where I think I lose the slut title. I’ve slept with plenty of men, but I’ve at least made some effort to be discriminating about my partners. I’ve never slept with anyone I haven’t known for some number of months, for example. I’ve never slept with anyone I wasn’t in a one-on-one hanging out or explicitely dating relationship. Some of those were awfully quick relationships, sometimes even measured in days, but I always went to bed expecting either friendship or romance beyond the bedroom. In my experience - a “slut” is someone who won’t sleep with you. A “whore” is someone who will sleep with everyone _but_ you. 😛 VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![MizGrand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@MizGrand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizGrand)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/27 "2006-02-13T17:11:35Z")
> [@Go You Big Red Fire Engine](#): > > I just wish to make an enquiry; women who call themselves sluts, what did you find pleasurable about it? For me, sex is something you have to make “work” over a period of time. I have never understood women having one night stands for this reason. The first times I have sex with someone are bad. Good observation. I actually received NO gratification whatsoever during the slut years. For me it was a calculated pursuit ('cept for those bar hookups back by the dumpster - eek!) and tended toward extremely good-looking (to me) guys. Yes, it got the girlie bits all excited, but nowhere near the big O. In 12 years prior to my marriage I had exactly two orgasms. It was THE POWER! Men were weak and thought with their dicks. Especially if they were will to _cheat_ with me! Yes, I did have poor self-esteem, why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/28 "2006-02-13T21:21:32Z")
Hell yes, I was a slut! From age 17 to about 24 years old. I enjoyed myself immensely. Don’t regret much at all. I feel good about it, because I know I’ll never feel that I missed out with hot sex when I was in my prime. I did it all the way, so to speak. 😉 My only advice for aspiring sluts: speak truthfully and carry condoms. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/29 "2006-02-13T21:32:40Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > First year of college, yes. Who wasn’t? But I, er, learnt my lesson, if you know what I mean. Same here - in fact, I still often refer to that year as my ‘slut phase.’ ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/30 "2006-02-13T21:36:30Z")
> [@Go You Big Red Fire Engine](#): > > I just wish to make an enquiry; women who call themselves sluts, what did you find pleasurable about it? For me, sex is something you have to make “work” over a period of time. I have never understood women having one night stands for this reason. The first times I have sex with someone are bad. > Is all sex good for you? And do you think it’s your body (ie; more sensitive genitals) or your demeanor/approach to sex? It was more about the thrill of the conquest for me. I liked going out, deciding who I wanted, and then reeling him in. I found it thrilling to make out with someone new, there’s a passion in first time encounters that just isn’t there in relationship sex. For me, “it” was good because I was excited by the whole idea of it all. And I’m a show off, so I definitely got off on that aspect of it. Damn, I miss being single. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/31 "2006-02-13T21:48:22Z")
By the OP’s definition, I’m probably a slut… but no one’s ever tried to convince me to have sex. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/32 "2006-02-13T22:12:44Z")
> [@Go You Big Red Fire Engine](#): > > I just wish to make an enquiry; women who call themselves sluts, what did you find pleasurable about it? For me, sex is something you have to make “work” over a period of time. I have never understood women having one night stands for this reason. The first times I have sex with someone are bad. > Is all sex good for you? And do you think it’s your body (ie; more sensitive genitals) or your demeanor/approach to sex? I found the sex pleasurable. I think of sex as something you do for fun. For me, a correct amount of friction, maintained for a sufficient length of time, inevitably leads to orgasm. It’s not rocket science or an Olympic caliber sport. That said, I’m sure that the reason I’ve never had bad sex is because if whatever we’re doing isn’t working for me, I _say so_, and we do something different, and not because I have SuperClitoris. I can’t conceive of being “convinced” to have sex. I’m either interested in sex with you, or I’m not. I may let you \*think \* you’ve “convinced” me, if that appears to get you off. But rest assured that if you’re having sex with me, it was my idea. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/33 "2006-02-13T22:18:09Z")
Another question: Some of you who profess to being sluts didn’t seem to have any trouble simply stopping and then settling down with your current partner (or longterm partner, if you’re no longer together). But were the individuals you settled down with fellow sluts and you both “quit the game” at the same time? Or were they more conservative and prudish in relation to the experiences you’ve had? If the latter, did it cause any friction early in the relationship because of your conflicting views on sex? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/34 "2006-02-14T00:28:07Z")
> [@Soapbox Monkey](#): > > Another question: > > Some of you who profess to being sluts didn’t seem to have any trouble simply stopping and then settling down with your current partner (or longterm partner, if you’re no longer together). But were the individuals you settled down with fellow sluts and you both “quit the game” at the same time? Or were they more conservative and prudish in relation to the experiences you’ve had? If the latter, did it cause any friction early in the relationship because of your conflicting views on sex? I’ve never had a problem being faithful when I’m in a relationship. I’ve just never felt that I have to be in a relationship with someone just because we have sex. I’ve never had a problem with an SO over numbers/experience. I don’t talk numbers, period. And I don’t play the “have you ever?” game. No good ever comes of it. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/35 "2006-02-14T00:56:39Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I don’t talk numbers, period. And I don’t play the “have you ever?” game. No good ever comes of it. What if he asks? This seems like the kind of thing where avoiding the question is pretty much the same thing as admitting you’ve been with a lot of people. ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/36 "2006-02-14T01:48:14Z")
Yes I was promiscuous as a teenager but for different reasons than I’ve seen shared here. I was so needy for love and acceptance that I equated sex with love. I don’t look back on those days with pride or enjoyment … more shame and embarrassment. DH is aware of my early promiscuity and it’s never really been an issue between us, although if I could go back and have a “do over”, I’d have been a virgin for my husband. That’s the ultimate give a woman can give the man she loves, IMHO. By today’s standards, I don’t know if the level of my sexual activities (10 partners before marriage?) would qualify me as a bonefide, card carrying slut, but by the values I now embrace I certainly was. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/37 "2006-02-14T03:46:20Z")
> [@Soapbox Monkey](#): > > What if he asks? This seems like the kind of thing where avoiding the question is pretty much the same thing as admitting you’ve been with a lot of people. And I’m not trying to convince him otherwise. I just tell him to pick a number between one and one thousand. I’m thirty five years old. I’ve been with a number of men. Anyone who can’t accept that isn’t someone I want to be in a relationship with anyway. Besides, in my experience, men don’t care how many people you’ve slept with. As long as it’s not more than they have. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/38 "2006-02-14T04:59:47Z")
> [@Soapbox Monkey](#): > > Another question: > > Some of you who profess to being sluts didn’t seem to have any trouble simply stopping and then settling down with your current partner (or longterm partner, if you’re no longer together). But were the individuals you settled down with fellow sluts and you both “quit the game” at the same time? Or were they more conservative and prudish in relation to the experiences you’ve had? If the latter, did it cause any friction early in the relationship because of your conflicting views on sex? Point of order: Though I know the distinction hasn’t been made in this thread, I want to say that even in my sluttiest years, I never considered myself a “stud”. That’s another thing entirely, and I’m not really sure which is “better” or “worse”. Even as a young, straight, promiscuous male, I was the very definition of “slut”. Now then. By 1999, when I met my wife, we were both in committed relationships. We both dumped our respective partners and never looked back. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/39 "2006-02-14T05:04:23Z")
Addendum: We met in '99, started dating in '00, enjoyed a year or so of threesomes (she was WAY better at picking up girls than I), and _then_ we went the monogomous route. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098/40 "2006-02-14T05:35:12Z")
Slutty for about a month in 1993. 🙂 Slept with three different guys, after being married and faithful for 27 years. I married the third one and haven’t been slutty (outside of marriage) since. It wasn’t that I forgot my dating etiquette from the 1950’s – it was because I suddenly discovered that I could have sex if I wanted to. And I wanted to. I’d only seen one real penis in my whole life, and I’d never engaged in oral sex. I was like the proverbial kid with a new toy. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-or-have-you-ever-been-a-slut/344098.md?page=3)