# Are you planning to be buried? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241 "2011-09-14T02:54:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/81 "2011-09-16T05:04:33Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > I don’t like the “liquefication” route. Too much like turning yourself into soup. > > _shuddering_ Google “coffin liquor”. Liquefaction happens in caskets as well. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/82 "2011-09-16T06:05:33Z")
How are cremains turned into a gemstone? Read about the process here: [http://www.lifegem.com/](http://www.lifegem.com/) Apparently, not ALL the carbon is turned into carbon dioxide and released as a gas during the process. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/83 "2011-09-16T06:11:14Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > How are cremains turned into a gemstone? Read about the process here: [http://www.lifegem.com/](http://www.lifegem.com/) > > Apparently, not ALL the carbon is turned into carbon dioxide and released as a gas during the process. I did a fair amount of research when that process was announced a few years ago. I am satisfied there is no significant carbon in human cremains, trace levels at most. I still say it is a scam; a good one, since there is no way I can prove that diamond didn’t come from Granny’s ashes, but a scam none the less. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/84 "2011-09-16T06:23:39Z")
Ah, [here it is](http://www.mailman.srv.ualberta.ca/pipermail/patho-l/1999-February/006308.html): > [@](#): > > In the cremation of the body, first the water must boil off, since no combustion can occur at temperatures below the boiling point of water. Water accounts for about 70% of total body weight. After that, the carbon-based macromolecules begin to oxidize, breaking down to produce a variety of smaller molecules, most notably organic amines, some of which are volatile and boil or sublimate off (the familiar odors of burning meat, for instance). Other such molecules are further oxidized. Ultimately, the carbon backbone of macromolecules is oxidized completely to carbon dioxide and water vapor. The nitrogenous content of proteins probably boils/sublimates off as small organic amines, and some probably gets completely oxidized to nitrates and possibly nitrogen oxides. The nitrates would become part of the ash, while nitrogen oxides are volatiles. I don’t know what happens to the sulfur content of proteins, but presumably some gets boiled off as small organic sulfhydryl or sulfhydryl/amine molecules, while some of the sulfur gets completely oxidized to sulfates (which become part of the ash) or oxides of sulfur (which are volatile) or may even _itself_ oxidize other substances to produce sulfides, some of which are volatile. > > Once you get rid of the water and the carbon-based macromolecules (protein, nucleic acids, and carbohydrates), that pretty much leaves you with non-volatiles, which constitutes the ash. These would be compounds of calcium (such as hydroxyapatite, the mineral that hardens bones), mineral compounds composed of physiologic electrolytes (sodium, potassium, magnesium, chloride), phosphorus compounds (probably phosphates) and oxides or other oxidized products of the trace metals (iron, copper, iodine, and very small quantities of a few other metals). I presume there may be some tar-like residues of incomplete oxidation of carbon-based macromolecules, but I could not hazard a guess as to the quantity or specific identity of those. ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/85 "2011-09-16T06:29:56Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > [You could turn yourself into a diamond.](http://jewelry.about.com/cs/syntheticdiamonds/a/lifegem_diamond.htm) You do have to be cremated first. I think that’s kinda cool, especially since I make jewelry. Hell, I may make a setting to be put into before I die. > > I doubt my kids would wanna carry me around in that fashion. I’ma ask them. I dunno, apparently people are pretty into that sort of thing… I was entirely creeped out when my husband’s grandfather died… at the funeral luncheon, they passed around a catalogue from [Everlasting Memories](http://www.evrmemories.com/cremation-jewelry-s/2.htm) and almost all of them (kids, grandkids) ordered some bit of jewelry with grandpa’s ashes in it. Most of them got crosses (they’re all VERY Christian) and hubby got a bracelet (he’s not.) Like I said, I was hugely creeped out by this… but I do have a little silver box with a pinch of one of my dog’s ashes in it that I wear. I dunno. It seems different to do it with grandpa… ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/86 "2011-09-16T06:36:16Z")
> [@Feyrat](#): > > I dunno, apparently people are pretty into that sort of thing… > > I was entirely creeped out when my husband’s grandfather died… at the funeral luncheon, they passed around a catalogue from [Everlasting Memories](http://www.evrmemories.com/cremation-jewelry-s/2.htm) and almost all of them (kids, grandkids) ordered some bit of jewelry with grandpa’s ashes in it. Most of them got crosses (they’re all VERY Christian) and hubby got a bracelet (he’s not.) > > Like I said, I was hugely creeped out by this… but I do have a little silver box with a pinch of one of my dog’s ashes in it that I wear. I dunno. It seems different to do it with grandpa… At my wife’s celebration of life, I filled small envelopes with about a teaspoon of her ashes and put about 80 of them out in a bowl. I asked anyone who was so inclined, to take them to some warm, beautiful destination and a spread them, as she didn’t get to travel as much as she wished. They were all gone by the end of the party. ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/87 "2011-09-16T07:40:48Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > At my wife’s celebration of life, I filled small envelopes with about a teaspoon of her ashes and put about 80 of them out in a bowl. I asked anyone who was so inclined, to take them to some warm, beautiful destination and a spread them, as she didn’t get to travel as much as she wished. > > They were all gone by the end of the party. That’s sweet, actually… ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/88 "2011-09-16T12:03:09Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > At my wife’s celebration of life, I filled small envelopes with about a teaspoon of her ashes and put about 80 of them out in a bowl. I asked anyone who was so inclined, to take them to some warm, beautiful destination and a spread them, as she didn’t get to travel as much as she wished. > > They were all gone by the end of the party. My mother ‘wants’ to be cremated, thrown into a Fed Ex envelope, and travel the world. 😉 Instead she is getting buried next to her mother in law. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/89 "2011-09-16T12:53:27Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I think the whole idea of injecting dead bodies with preservatives, then burying them in ornate boxes, sometimes inside concrete vaults…is _ **hideously grotesque** _. Me too. Even though I don’t share the sentiment, it seems that other people get some comfort from seeing the deceased’s body, as done up by the mortician, and the part about preservatives is kinda necessary if you’re going to do that. But if my body must be buried, I’d want it to be buried in a box that will decompose fairly quickly, and the box be buried in a hole in the earth with no concrete liner or anything like that. Hell, put a small wood box in my casket containing a colony of termites; after my body is buried, they can chew their way out of the small box, and then start on the casket itself. If they want to chew up my body too, well, I won’t be residing in it anymore, so let 'em go to town on it. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/90 "2011-09-16T13:31:29Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > I will be cremated and inurned in the family plot which was purchased by my grandparents in 1961. It’s all paid for. The only reason I’d wish to be buried instead of cremated is because my burial and funeral are all paid for as well. My parents bought burial policies on themselves and their kids back in the 1960s (I was born in '66) through Liberty Mutual. I’m not sure how much they paid- a few hundred dollars each over several years probably- but that policy today is worth thousands of dollars: covers embalming, a cheap metal coffin and the basic services. Liberty Mutual Policy is a HATED phrase by undertakers today because apparently they’ve lost money on those policies over the years and consequently they are not only non-transferable but you have to present the actual hard copy policy- basically any excuse not to honor it. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/91 "2011-09-16T14:33:40Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > The only reason I’d wish to be buried instead of cremated is because my burial and funeral are all paid for as well. My parents bought burial policies on themselves and their kids back in the 1960s (I was born in '66) through Liberty Mutual. I’m not sure how much they paid- a few hundred dollars each over several years probably- but that policy today is worth thousands of dollars: covers embalming, a cheap metal coffin and the basic services. Liberty Mutual Policy is a HATED phrase by undertakers today because apparently they’ve lost money on those policies over the years and consequently they are not only non-transferable but you have to present the actual hard copy policy- basically any excuse not to honor it. You can be cremated and buried. That’s what “inurned” means. They bury the urn (box) in the plot. My grandparents bought directly from the cemetery, so when we had her inurned there last year they had no way of getting out of it. We did pay extra to have the plaque removed polished and reset, but putting my grandmother’s name on it was free. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/92 "2011-09-16T14:54:17Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > SiL’s Dad’s ashes finally got scattered last August, two years after his death. SiL just got sick of not being allowed to do it because there was always some relative for whom the set date wasn’t convenient. One of the lines reported by Mom was “he couldn’t be arsed come to the funeral or the cremation, I refuse to be arsed wait for his there-are-children-in-the-room convenience!” > > SiL’s very nice and all that, but when she gets fed up it’s best not to be in her path. Opposite. Our Drama Queen couldn’t bare for the ashes to be scattered in accordance with the deceased’s wishes. So, when one one of her daughters ‘dated’ the funeral directors son, the urn ‘disappeared’. To reappear on Drama Queens mantle a month or two later. Damn family should be on Showtime… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/93 "2011-09-16T15:22:57Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > How are cremains turned into a gemstone? I need you to not use the neologism “cremains.” It bothers me on many levels. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/94 "2011-09-16T15:29:57Z")
To Fear Itself: Thank you for the description of the breakdown of the body components. I’d actually need more information, though, to determine how much carbon is left in the cremains. The description talks about the “oxidation of the carbon macromolecules,” but there are other carbon containing compounds in the body. The extremely high heat does ensure a very thorough breakdown of just about everything, but I don’t see how ALL the carbon can be burned away to carbon dioxide. That would mean there is exactly enough oxygen available for totally complete combustion. I don’t have an analysis of the gemstones created by the process, but the other minerals in the cremains could have formed crystals, and probably provide the color. Perhaps carbon is even added to the sample–you really don’t send very much to the company to make a gemstone. Anyway, I’d do a bit more research before I’d dismiss the whole thing as bunk. To RTFirefly: The time is NOW for you to do research on cemetery requirements. If you wish to forego the concrete liner, you might have trouble finding a final resting place. Many cemeteries require this. The liner keeps the ground above the grave from collapsing. After the casket is placed and the concrete box is closed up, the cemetery maintenance wants to shovel the dirt back and roll the sod over. They mow and water, and that’s about IT. Cave-ins would prevent the mowers from doing a quick job of keeping the acres of grass clipped. My idea of being buried on my land just keeps sounding better and better. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/95 "2011-09-16T15:34:54Z")
To bup: I’m not crazy about the word “cremains” either. However, this is a tidy little term fashioned by the funeral industry to describe the stuff that is in the box after you have Grandpa cremated. People traditionally call them “ashes,” but technically, they are NOT. Once the process is finished, there are big and little pieces of the body that are composed completely of minerals. They certainly are NOT the light and fluffy debris you sweep out of the fireplace. These pieces are placed in a drum and reduced to powder, and then put in the box or the urn or whatever you choose to hold Grandpa. It’s HEAVY. And it is the consistency of sand. If you have a better word than “cremains,” I’d be happy to hear it! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/96 "2011-09-16T16:41:31Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I am surprised at all the graveyard hate! Have you ever visited Woodlawn or Green-Wood in New York? Lovely park-like cemeteries, chock full of gorgeous sculpture and historic monuments. I also love the old graveyards of Europe and New England: they are history lessons and art lessons in one. I also cut through the local graveyard near my house on the way to the market, and read the tombstones and look at the photos attached–_fascinating_. > > I won’t wind up in a cemetery, but I \*love \*'em. I also love them, and want the ones we already have to be preserved and maintained, but don’t think we need to expand them. There are better alternatives (I think, I have no idea what the environmental impact of cremation is) The evolution of head stone styles fascinates me. It’s fun to me to walk through a whole cemetary and try and ascertain the relationships. (Hmm, is this beloved wife and mother the daughter of the pair two rows back? That sort of thing.) My family hasn’t buried anyone since my great-grandfather died in 1963. We’re cremators. I do intend to do as much donation as I can before going that route. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/97 "2011-09-16T16:46:26Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I need you to not use the neologism “cremains.” > > It bothers me on many levels. May I ask why? It’s seems a fine coinage to me: easily pronounced and clear in meaning. It’s more compact than “ashes of the deceased,” less ambiguous than “ashes” alone, and distinct in meaning from “remains.” ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/98 "2011-09-16T17:06:14Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > May I ask why? It’s seems a fine coinage to me: easily pronounced and clear in meaning. It’s more compact than “ashes of the deceased,” less ambiguous than “ashes” alone, and distinct in meaning from “remains.” Yeah, but number 1, it’s such an obvious neologism, like ‘pro-active,’ ‘neologism,’ and the like, which I dislike in general, but especially in the realm of dealing with the dead; number 2, it sounds like something you’d put in coffee; and number 3, it’s icky in the way ‘panties’ is, or ‘moist’ is for some people. It’s a visceral reaction. I mentally recoil. I think ‘ashes’ is generally fine, and not likely to cause confusion. In fact, I think I’ll start a poll. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/99 "2011-09-16T17:23:24Z")
Figuring out the family relationships in cemeteries is like a puzzle. I found one grouping where a man was obviously buried between his wife and his mother. I thought, “Geez, the poor guy isn’t gonna get rest even when he’s dead!” ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241/100 "2011-09-17T00:02:25Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > May I ask why? It’s seems a fine coinage to me: easily pronounced and clear in meaning. It’s more compact than “ashes of the deceased,” less ambiguous than “ashes” alone, and distinct in meaning from “remains.” And also more correct, since “ashes” are actually dust from crushed bones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-planning-to-be-buried/596241.md?page=6)