# Are you ruder to people on the SDMB than in real life? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379 "2011-06-22T03:28:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/21 "2011-06-22T14:18:51Z")
I say stuff to people on here I don’t know that I would only say to people I know in real life… but I wouldn’t say anything on here that I wouldn’t say to people I know. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/22 "2011-06-22T14:35:06Z")
Everyone is nastier on the Internet than they are in real life. It’s a combination of the anonymity and the fact you can’t see any immediate feedback to what you say. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/23 "2011-06-22T14:59:50Z")
Just awhile ago I would have said no, but I think I crossed over the line a bit recently. However, though I think I may have adopted a ‘stronger’ tone than I might have in the real world, that is due in part to the opportunity I have to carefully consider my positions and then write them out coherently. In real life I don’t have the ability to enter choppy waters with such aplomb. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/24 "2011-06-22T15:50:02Z")
Very rarely. I will occasionally let something slip on here that I wouldn’t say in real life, but I’m pretty non-confrontational in either arena. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/25 "2011-06-22T15:58:12Z")
Not really. I’m probably more likely to get in an argument online than offline, because it’s easier to get into nitpicking matches online. On the other hand, I’ll walk away from an online argument a lot more quickly than an offline argument, because it’s a lot easier for me to disengage when I’m not in the same room as the person with whom I’m araguing. So it averages out. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/26 "2011-06-22T16:12:33Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Everyone is nastier on the Internet than they are in real life. It’s a combination of the anonymity and the fact you can’t see any immediate feedback to what you say. I was nastier on the internet _until_ I stopped to think about it. The different medium changes things a bit, for example I’d be more likely to ignore a jerk or credulous statement in real life than on here. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/27 "2011-06-22T16:19:14Z")
I’m reasonably careful about what I say online because I use my real name, so I don’t have the “anonymous disconnect” that most of you have. My Straight Dope life dovetails directly into my real life. Still, there are times in real life when I’d just leave the room or ignore people, but on the SDMB I go ahead and engage them. I’m much less likely to ignore the spreading of urban legend, pseudo-science, and other wrongness here, partially because of the mission of the place. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/28 "2011-06-22T16:27:11Z")
I have a more sensitive trigger here. I’m not sure why. There’s a lot of rudeness on this board, so I blame peer pressure. But even in real life, if you initiate rudeness with me, you are starting a pissing match that won’t end well for you. Occasionally I start things. Sometimes I’m just a bigger asshole than usual. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/29 "2011-06-22T17:08:36Z")
I interact with a much smaller number of people IRL than on the Dope, and there’s a selection filter there that doesn’t apply here. If I only interacted with the 50 or so Dopers whose virtual company I enjoyed the most, I’d probably be at least as polite here as I am IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/30 "2011-06-22T17:15:19Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I think I’m meaner in real life. +1. I can’t stand stupid questions and banter (if it isn’t witty) so am very terse IRL. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/31 "2011-06-22T23:34:46Z")
Heck yeah. It seems some people prefer ruder conversation, so I try to give it to them. Unfortunately, it led to me actually becoming an asshole, so I’m trying to scale back again. But it’s hard! ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/32 "2011-06-22T23:40:50Z")
I like to think that I am just as sarcastic in real life as I am here, but the truth of the matter is, I probably behave worse at the SDMB. I agree with what RealityChuck wrote in post 22. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/33 "2011-06-22T23:43:55Z")
I try not to be rude either here on in meatspace, though I’m sure I often fail. I suspect that I’m ruder here, not because I don’t value courtesy online (I do) but because I am large and look mean, so I have to work at not seeming threatening in face to face interactions. There’s a big difference between my five-foot-nothing, ninety-pound sister raising her voice and getting in a waiter’s face than there is in my doing so. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2011, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/34 "2011-06-22T23:51:22Z")
I’m much worse in real life. Just ask my students. Or my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/35 "2011-06-23T00:21:39Z")
I am worse on the SDMB. I generally pretty quiet and polite in real life but that isn’t always true. I do get worked up IRL sometimes especially around people I am close to or people I know well but don’t like. I have said like “I think you are an idiot but…” many times IRL. I am usually the one that gets called in to straighten out younger family members when they are making poor decisions because I can be so blunt and direct when I need to. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/36 "2011-06-23T00:27:18Z")
I am, in real life, just like here. Sometimes rude and short tempered, sometimes patient and understanding. More often the former. I don’t suffer fools gladly if at all, and I’ve quite often admitted when I am the one being the fool. (too often…you’d think I’d learn as I get older) ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/37 "2011-06-23T00:56:09Z")
Ruder in real life. I don’t consider it rude. I consider myself honest and passionate. I like to tell it like it is. There’s a lot I don’t get into here that I would get into in real life. Mostly because The Dope has a lot of arrogant people and things can easily turn into a mob mentality. Also, some people on here will be dead wrong or immoral (I think there’s a big section of The Dope that gets off on immoral things and trashing anything remotely converstative) and will just argue forever. If they see they’re losing or your have a valid counterpoint, they start attacking personal traits or grammar. I have a life outside The Dope and I work. So, I’m not going to argue with someone for ages when I known they’re wrong. Also, you only have so much “rebound” time in real life debates/arguments. Here you have days to write a come back. I’m not that vested in arguments and debates. I think I choose my battles on The Dope more than I do in real life. I also want to say, MOST Dopers are more vindictive than anyone I deal with in a personal or business level offline.Once you say something in a thread that is not taken kindly (even out of context), there’s no forgiveness. While I don’t feel this was done to me or anyone is actively doing it, some Dopers are stalkerish in they way they argue/debate. It seems tabs are being kept. (Look at how many times a poster will post someone else’s posting history in a combative move.)That keeps me guarded and less “rude” than I am in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/38 "2011-06-23T00:58:46Z")
I talk to people here like I talk to my friends, which would probably come off as rude out of context, but then again … fuck you if you can’t take a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/39 "2011-06-23T01:14:34Z")
Actually, I’m more polite here. In real life I’m more likely to tell you to go fuck yourself if I think you’re full of it. Here, I’d have to get into a couple days worth of drama and back-and-forth and cite wars as the aftermath. I don’t have time for that, so then posters are like, “Oh, you don’t have the strength to stand up for your convictions…” blah-blah-blah, when really it’s just that I work six fucking days a week and, depending on the week, might have only a few free minutes during each day to respond. It’s a lot easier to either be extra polite, or most of the time just close the thread rather than deal with someone else’s deluded bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2011, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379/40 "2011-06-23T01:17:01Z")
More rude here, but only relatively speaking. I’ve called a few people names here, which I pretty much never do IRL, but by the same token, most of what I’ve ever said is pretty mild compared with ther general run of Pit posters. Er, most. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-ruder-to-people-on-the-sdmb-than-in-real-life/586379.md?page=3)