# Are you scary?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 23, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886 "2006-04-23T20:47:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/41 "2006-04-24T18:03:42Z")
I don’t think I’m scary, exactly, but I was surprised to hear stories from many women about getting their bellies poked and patted when they were pregnant. Nobody laid a finger on me during either of my pregnancies, unless they were married to me or had OB/GYN after their name.
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### Author:  [@Wygtya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wygtya)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/42 "2006-04-24T18:23:11Z")
I don’t think I am at all intimidating. I am and always have been kinda dowdy and pudding-ish. However, I cannot get through an airport without the full monty; pat down, radar wand, passport double check nonsense, even before airport security became stricter. So apparently I do look like a drug smuggler or terrorist.
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### Author:  [@jakeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jakeline)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/43 "2006-04-24T18:56:05Z")
> [@Misnomer](#):
>
> Me, too … only without the hidden ability to kick anyone’s ass. I’m definitely not scary. I manage to surprise lots of people who judge me on my appearance (short, overweight, young-looking and also “nice girl”-looking), but never with fear. I’m ok with that. 🙂
You could be describing me as well, except that I definitely do get people who tell me that I’m intimidating. As a matter of fact, there’s quite a few people who won’t walk into my office at work unless I invite them in, and when they leave, they back out. I think that it’s because I can clearly convey when I think someone is wasting my time without saying anything. It works with solicitors, people on the street, and it works REALLY well at work.
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### Author:  [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/44 "2006-04-24T18:58:27Z")
Thanks for the replies. As I said in my OP, I can give off “don’t mess with me” vibes, but I have to do it on purpose. It’s something I put on like a coat if I’m going somewhere by myself. If I don’t do this, I give off “nice girl who will listen to your boring story” vibes.
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### Author:  [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/45 "2006-04-24T19:02:57Z")
I’m not outwardly intimidating. I’m 5’9", wear glasses, and am fairly babyfaced. People tend to underestimate me, which sucks, because I’d much rather not fight at all than fight and win.
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### Author:  [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/46 "2006-04-24T19:03:19Z")
I’ve been told that, yes, in fact, I am [fairly scary](http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/29488828/7019820). The combination of shaved head, goatee, and a muscular build kinda pushes me over the top.
Which is actually pretty funny, since I’m very easy-going. I’m a real pussycat, to tell the truth. I’ve also got a very nice telephone voice, or so I’ve been told.
Still, it’s pretty nice to be able to look scary when I want.
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### Author:  [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/47 "2006-04-24T19:32:38Z")
I’m about as scary as a piece of lint. ~shrug~
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### Author:  [@lokij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lokij)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/48 "2006-04-25T06:32:17Z")
… I’m scary. It used to bother me more than it does now. I’m 6’3 and I’m very broad… just big. I remember the day I realized that people could be scared of me like it was yesterday… I put a girl my age into shock. I was a volunteer performer at the local Ren Faire and my schtick was that I was the youngest son of one of the nobles, BIG boy but childlike. Because I was supposed to have a childlike mind, I was told that I was one of the very few performers who could see and interact with the costumed fairies they had running around. I was told the fairies all knew who I was and were in on the joke, no problem. So, first day of faire I’m going about, hamming it up and I run across a fairy who’s doing her bit waving at me. I goofily wave back and play ‘catch the fairy’ like I was told I was supposed to. She has a smile on the entire time but runs off without being caught (like she was supposed to) and that was that. Only it wasn’t… I get pulled back to the offstage area and grilled about what I had done to the poor girl who was flat on her back, pale as a sheet and being attended to by paramedics… I explained that I hadn’t done anything at all, told them about my character ect. When I was told I literally scared her into shock I cried. Later that afternoon a very close older female friend kindly explained to me that she was a late addition to the cast and didn’t know my schtick, but that I can come across as a very scary, large and intimidating guy and should be more careful. I was 15 at the time, and from that day I realized that I would never again be considered harmless by people who didn’t know me. _shrug_ I mean, intellectually I knew I was a big guy but I didn’t understand completely what it meant or how people saw me. I work very hard at not being threatening and I still have a hard time, because of my size, the fact that I don’t naturally smile, I’m fairly intelligent and there’s just something about me that gives people pause. Hopefully it’ll go away with time.
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/49 "2006-04-25T06:48:26Z")
[Scary mofo](http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/3489/chopper13yn.jpg) (yes, it’s terribly staged and I don’t normally look like that - nice to know I can though)
[Non-scary mofo](http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/2799/baldcunt8sl.jpg) (this is my default setting, and the one that attracts kids, dogs, and jonesing smokers)
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### Author:  [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/50 "2006-04-25T06:58:02Z")
> [@lokij](#):
>
> Hopefully it’ll go away with time.
Mebby you will luck out better than Hubby has. He’s NEVER been small, weighed 13 lbs at birth. Currently, at 47 yrs old, he’s six foot five and 250 lbs. All his life he’s wanted to be accepted as who he is, but seldom does it work out; especially when he was in his late 20’s/early 30’s when he was very muscular and strong.
Sometimes it’s very sad to me, to take him to the grocery or Wal Mart and half the people there sidle up to the edges of the aisles or just turn around and hasten off. Geez, people, do I need to put him on a leash for crissakes?? ☹
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### Author:  [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/51 "2006-04-25T06:59:33Z")
BTW **The Loaded Dog** , how _you_ doin ?? 😃
I should come to Australia sometime 😉
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### Author:  [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/52 "2006-04-25T10:21:38Z")
It’s hard for a 5 ft 103 lbs Asian girl to be scary, but somehow I manage. Only in certain situations though - in the classroom, for example (both as a teacher and as a student). I have a pretty loud voice, which people don’t usually expect from a small person, so I guess that helps.
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### Author:  [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/53 "2006-04-25T10:25:17Z")
Not in the least. I’m short, thin and look… well, nice. Which makes me the perfect supervillain. No-one would ever suspect me.
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### Author:  [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/54 "2006-04-25T10:31:45Z")
> [@Telperien](#):
>
> I am not. I am a perfectly harmless person and that’s generally the impression I give off. Little children and animals that I don’t even know will come right up to me without provocation. I can project an aura of “don’t mess with me,” but I have to do it purposefully.
>
> So are you someone with a natural air of “Stay away or there will be trouble” or not?
I’m not scary, but I do tend to look aloof & frosty. It’s not something I’ve intentionally cultivated, but my friends tell me that.
VCNJ~
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### Author:  [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/55 "2006-04-25T12:17:55Z")
…and just what, my dear **Telperien** , might have inspired you to start this particular thread? 😉
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### Author:  [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/56 "2006-04-25T15:49:24Z")
> [@Roland Orzabal](#):
>
> …and just what, my dear **Telperien** , might have inspired you to start this particular thread? 😉
You are _so_ self-centered. 😉
And you didn’t answer the question, either.
\*\*HazelNutCoffee, \*\* oddly enough, small women tend to frighten me more than big guys. I blame my mother, who is not particularly large, but quite scary.
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### Author:  [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/57 "2006-04-25T16:27:57Z")
> [@trublmakr](#):
>
> Yes, I am.
>
> I’m very, very sensitive, so this appears dichotamous.
>
> But I’ve been a single mother for many years, and by now I’ve got the whole being scary thing down. I’ve had to. Not being paranoid, but there are predators out there looking for a victim. Many, if not all of them, size you up first. If you’re someone who appears weak and easily overpowered, either physically or mentally, there’s a good chance you’ll be chosen. As the sole protector of my clan, I’ve gotten to where anytime I’m out in the world, I project the image of being a badass. And it works- people pretty much leave me alone unless I initiate a conversation. And I like it that way.
>
> When I come home, however, I let down my guard a lot and I make my home very comfortable and feminine. Only at home can I truly relax and be my sensitive, quiet, girly self. My home’s very important to me.
This is me exactly.
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### Author:  [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/58 "2006-04-25T16:50:49Z")
People don’t tend to find me scary or intimidating at all until they start stuff. This has happened twice in my life.
When I was in college, there was a guy that starting stuff in one of the dorms. I let him slide until he started grabbing at my best friends sister. Everyone told me that I looked like a completely different person when I blankly got up, went into the hallway, grabbed they guy in question by the neck, and broke a water fountain on him. Then I took a breath and went back to my Diet Pepsi and Tetris. I was happy-Danny after that.
There was another time that a drunk dude went after me at a bar with some sort of broken bottle thing. He came in straight, I side-stepped, and punched the man right in his stupid goat triangle hair patch thing on his head and laid him out. I am really good friends with the manager of the bar and he said that it was like I was possessed for a brief minute.
I might be a slight bit scary by rep but I am more of a wus really.
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### Author:  [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/59 "2006-04-25T18:57:18Z")
Scary isn’t the right word - I’m an average sized girl, so I’m not in any way physically intimidating.
However, I share with my mother the unconscious ability to generate an aura of “no sane person jerks her around”. My personal theory is that we’re both seriously alpha-female personalities and very, very dominant.
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### Author:  [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-scary/353886/60 "2006-04-25T20:33:53Z")
At 6’2" and in the neighborhood of 300 pounds, I can be scary when I want to.
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