# Are You Supposed To Be Attracted To Your SO After 50? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439 "2014-02-15T20:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/21 "2014-02-16T02:15:59Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > He’s married to San Francisco San Francisco 69’ers starting tight end ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/22 "2014-02-16T02:18:39Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > i cant think of any women over 50 that i’d want to have sex with [https://www.google.ca/search?lr=&q=christie%20brinkley&bav=on.2,or.r\_cp.&bvm=bv.61535280,d.aWc,pv.xjs.s.en\_US.Pk6WM5xCqOI.O&biw=939&bih=582&dpr=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=mR8AU-yXHsfWyQGJj4GgBQ](https://www.google.ca/search?lr=&q=christie%20brinkley&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.&bvm=bv.61535280,d.aWc,pv.xjs.s.en_US.Pk6WM5xCqOI.O&biw=939&bih=582&dpr=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=mR8AU-yXHsfWyQGJj4GgBQ) [https://www.google.ca/search?q=Jaclyn+Smith&lr=&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=7R8AU6aREOONygGkt4DoDQ&ved=0CAkQ\_AUoAQ&biw=939&bih=582](https://www.google.ca/search?q=Jaclyn+Smith&lr=&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=7R8AU6aREOONygGkt4DoDQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=939&bih=582) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/23 "2014-02-16T02:40:30Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > What does SF stand for? Yeah, wondering about that kept me from really absorbing the point of the first post… (Significant Fooker?) Maybe the OP need better communication skills with his SF … ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/24 "2014-02-16T02:43:25Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > [christie brinkley - Google Search](https://www.google.ca/search?lr=&q=christie%20brinkley&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.&bvm=bv.61535280,d.aWc,pv.xjs.s.en_US.Pk6WM5xCqOI.O&biw=939&bih=582&dpr=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=mR8AU-yXHsfWyQGJj4GgBQ) > > [Jaclyn Smith - Google Search](https://www.google.ca/search?q=Jaclyn+Smith&lr=&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=7R8AU6aREOONygGkt4DoDQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=939&bih=582) no and no ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/25 "2014-02-16T02:46:05Z")
> [@nogwart](#): > > So, I’m 50. Now, I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with me because I no longer find my wife attractive in any way whatsoever. She is my best friend, make no mistake, and I’d lie, cheat, steal, kill and die for her, but, the idea of sex with her is completely out of the question. I simply don’t find her attractive. Am I a freak? Should I feel bad? Am I a horrible person? I feel that there is something wrong with this situation, but can’t define it. Please help me understand my idiocy. Nope, nothing wrong. It happens. Ignore the usuals who will tell you to see a doctor, like there’s something wrong with you. You don’t find the SO attractive, and there ain’t no law of man or nature says you have to. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/26 "2014-02-16T02:52:15Z")
I was just thinking about this very topic on Valentine’s Day - that seeing my husband as attractive, even though he is, isn’t foremost in my thoughts about our closeness like it used to be. In fact, after forty-seven years of marriage. unless I make an effort, I don’t really “see” him anymore. It’s just more of a feeling of security and being bonded to this other person. And he’s the guy who has been with me all these years and helped me when I needed it and appreciates the things I do for him. Then I wondered if it were the same for him. So I’m glad you brought it up. I’m going to remember to ask him. Anyway, I think it’s more about coupleship and less about physical attraction. You know, the whole package and not just the exterior. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/27 "2014-02-16T02:57:20Z")
Some people get stuck thinking a certain age is ‘attractive’ and what they most desire. Where this gets really creepy and criminal is people who think teens and pre-teens are hot and don’t change that view as they get older. Most people such as myself, change their ideal as they grow older. I’m 51 and the women I usually think of as even remotely potential partners range from mid/late 30’s to early 60s. Sure, there are some 20-somethings that I would very much lust after given the chance, but realistically (and this always enters my mind when I’m in the room with them), we would have nothing in common long term and they’re just too different socially/world view/etc for anything to work. So **nogwart** , here’s something for you to consider. Are you stuck in that age-view of what you consider attractive, and do you think that will work for you long term? I’m not saying it won’t, that sort of thing certainly works for the rich and very attractive, but do you think it will work for you, should you leave your wife? Or will you just grow old and frustrated because potentially attainable women are no longer attractive to you, attractive women you want are no longer interested in you, and you left the one woman you had and loved? ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/28 "2014-02-16T04:12:56Z")
Since you seem to care about her, can you pinpoint what it is that makes her unappealing to you? Is it something that could be changed—especially together, like: overweight…you both get a gym membership. Or bikes. Her hair, wardrobe choices…a makeover for both of you (she might be feeling disappointed, too.) If someone else was interested in her would that make her seem more attractive? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/29 "2014-02-16T05:40:05Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > What does SF stand for? Among other things, “stand for”. Isn’t it ironic? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/30 "2014-02-16T05:49:16Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Among other things, “stand for”. Isn’t it ironic? I don’t think so. Ironic usually means “opposite of what was intended.” I think you mean, “humorously coincidental.” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/31 "2014-02-16T05:59:48Z")
Two words for the OP: [_ **Mary Steenburgen** _](https://www.google.com/search?q=mary+steenburgen&client=safari&hl=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=dFMAU6qgC8O32wX244DACw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAA&biw=1024&bih=648). ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/32 "2014-02-16T06:04:24Z")
There’s also this list: [Zimbio’s 50 Sexiest Women Over 50](http://www.zimbio.com/The+50+Sexiest+Women+Over+50) 1. Katey Sagal 49 Jessica Lange 2. Sigourney Weaver 3. Pam Grier 4. Leeza Gibbons 5. Janice Dickinson 6. Debbie Harry 7. Queen Noor of Jordan 8. Chrissie Hynde 9. Cassandra Peterson 10. Geena Davis 11. Joan Allen 12. Kim Cattrall 13. Susan Lucci 14. Cher 15. Ellen DeGeneres 16. Jane Fonda 17. Tina Turner 18. Susan Sarandon 19. Katie Couric 20. Lynda Carter 21. Dorothy Hamill 22. Beverly Johnson 23. Mary Steenburgen 24. Goldie Hawn 25. Ellen Barkin 26. Sophia Loren 27. Raquel Welch 28. Suzanne Somers 29. Olivia Newton-John 30. Peggy Lipton 31. Rene Russo 32. Sharon Stone 33. Ann Curry 34. Diane Sawyer 35. Cheryl Tiegs 36. Angela Bassett 37. Joan Jett 38. Jaclyn Smith 39. Sela Ward 40. Kim Basinger 41. Andie MacDowell 42. Jane Seymour 43. Madonna 44. Helen Mirren 45. Christie Brinkley 46. Iman 47. Jennifer Tilly 48. Michelle Pfeiffer 49. Holly Hunter ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/33 "2014-02-16T06:08:20Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Two words for the OP: > > [_ **Mary Steenburgen** _](https://www.google.com/search?q=mary+steenburgen&client=safari&hl=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=dFMAU6qgC8O32wX244DACw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAA&biw=1024&bih=648). Unless the OP is married to your examples, I don’t know what the fuck that has to do with anything. ETA: but I do applaud your raising the bar. Women are just too ugly, and need to look more like movie stars and models. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/34 "2014-02-16T07:15:35Z")
Well it’s not like we would all know Jane Doogansplitzer who is your next door nieghbor. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/35 "2014-02-16T15:51:57Z")
**Nogwart** , if you have a typo in your thread title, report the post and ask a mod to fix the typo, don’t start a duplicate thread. I have merged the duplicate threads and corrected the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/36 "2014-02-16T16:14:24Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > There’s also this list: [Zimbio’s 50 Sexiest Women Over 50](http://www.zimbio.com/The+50+Sexiest+Women+Over+50) > > 1. Katey Sagal > 49 Jessica Lange > 2. Sigourney Weaver > 3. Pam Grier > 4. Leeza Gibbons > 5. Janice Dickinson > 6. Debbie Harry > 7. Queen Noor of Jordan > 8. Chrissie Hynde > 9. Cassandra Peterson > 10. Geena Davis > 11. Joan Allen > 12. Kim Cattrall > 13. Susan Lucci > 14. Cher > 15. Ellen DeGeneres > 16. Jane Fonda > 17. Tina Turner > 18. Susan Sarandon > 19. Katie Couric > 20. Lynda Carter > 21. Dorothy Hamill > 22. Beverly Johnson > 23. Mary Steenburgen > 24. Goldie Hawn > 25. Ellen Barkin > 26. Sophia Loren > 27. Raquel Welch > 28. Suzanne Somers > 29. Olivia Newton-John > 30. Peggy Lipton > 31. Rene Russo > 32. Sharon Stone > 33. Ann Curry > 34. Diane Sawyer > 35. Cheryl Tiegs > 36. Angela Bassett > 37. Joan Jett > 38. Jaclyn Smith > 39. Sela Ward > 40. Kim Basinger > 41. Andie MacDowell > 42. Jane Seymour > 43. Madonna > 44. Helen Mirren > 45. Christie Brinkley > 46. Iman > 47. Jennifer Tilly > 48. Michelle Pfeiffer > 49. Holly Hunter _Hold la Queen Noor_ Genocide supporters/Mass-murders are kind of a turn-off. (Its why there’s no Eva Braun porn) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/37 "2014-02-16T17:19:52Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > _Hold la Queen Noor_ > > Genocide supporters/Mass-murders are kind of a turn-off. > (Its why there’s no Eva Braun porn) Wait, I’ve spoiled the list. Sorry. Let me add Patricia Richardson & Patricia Heaton. (I’d have added Sandra Bullock too, but her birthday is in July.) You know, among the list of Beautiful Women who are happily married, happily relationship’d and happily don’t know any of us from a hole in the wall. But lets count our blessings, right? I mean, if they did know you… would you _really_ want to stand there while they pointed at you and laughed…? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/38 "2014-02-16T17:24:53Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Unless the OP is married to your examples, I don’t know what the fuck that has to do with anything. > > ETA: but I do applaud your raising the bar. Women are just too ugly, and need to look more like movie stars and models. I believe they are responding to post #12 not the OP. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/39 "2014-02-16T17:34:56Z")
My wife and I are nearing 60 YO and have been married for 36 years. We still have a great sex life. As to the OP, are you sexually attracted to any others? If not, maybe it’s something you should see a doctor about. If yes, maybe it’s something you should talk to a marriage counselor about. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439/40 "2014-02-16T18:16:29Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > i cant think of any women over 50 that i’d want to have sex with Thanks for this valuable contribution to the thread. > [@Chimera](#): > > Some people get stuck thinking a certain age is ‘attractive’ and what they most desire. Where this gets really creepy and criminal is people who think teens and pre-teens are hot and don’t change that view as they get older.\ I’ve been finding that, too. Wrinkles don’t look ugly to me - they look like the lines that people get on their faces from getting years of experience. Laugh lines aren’t unattractive at all - I like people who like to laugh. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-supposed-to-be-attracted-to-your-so-after-50/681439.md?page=3)