# Are you the star of someone else's story? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146 "2012-03-18T17:49:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/21 "2012-03-19T12:43:47Z")
Really I see myself as the protagonist of my own story. ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/22 "2012-03-19T14:27:38Z")
I know my [psycho] brother blames me for the break-up of two of his many relationships. I don’t remember the women at all, but he claims that I was so rude to them that they broke up with him. I don’t even live in the same country as him! I’m pretty sure he’s built up a story in his head where he’s the hero and I’m the villain, and I’ve ruined his life with my “crazed behaviour”. He claims to be bankrupt - which is all my fault, and that I’ve ruined the lives of every person I’ve ever met… I remember him having a GF years ago who could hardly bear to speak to me and I’ve often wondered was she a bitch, or just reacting to his horror stories about me? I also remember (when I was a pre-teen) people asking me if I knew \ “because you’re the spitting image of him” (great, I look like a _boy_?!) and I’d tell them he was my brother, and they’d react with extreme shock cos they had no clue that he had a sister. So for a while I was a “[wo]man in the iron mask” type character in his story. Oh and he thinks I’m a criminal mastermind who stole a ton of money from my late father, and that the bank manager was in on it, cos the bank manager was at Dad’s funeral - which proves it!!! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/23 "2012-03-19T15:16:46Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > I’m always surprised when someone admits to having _known_ me in the past, let alone been affected by me. It’s not that I think I’m an awful person or have done something terrible to people but that I can’t imagine people thinking about me when I’m not right in front of them. I think of myself as permanently transient 🆒. Me too. Hey, you know that person you had a huge crush on and you thought about them all the time and they probably never even knew your name? Well, it is very very likely that _you_ were that person to someone you never noticed. Doesn’t that blow your mind? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/24 "2012-03-19T15:28:08Z")
I have the shameful feeling that is true, **Dung Bee**. I remember a very shy, quiet boy named Jeff who (evidently) worked up the nerve to call me one day, never dreaming that he would call in the midst of a huge whirlwind of activity where I was hosting an out-of-town friend who used to live on our town. Her brother was also visiting, staying with another friend — and the entire “gang” of friends over the course of this summer week were constantly planning things to do and calling each other and rounding people up. (Oh if only we had Facebook back then. Or even cell phones!) Anyway, this poor Jeff calls, and when he identified himself, I thought he was one of my friends named Jeff and I immediately launched into an incomprehensible litany of what we were doing that day, who was going, why, why not, etc. When he finally got a word in edgewise and told me who he was, I was shocked into speechlessness. I can’t remember if we continued to talk or he just said ‘well you’re busy, I’ll let you go’ or something. Poor guy! And I haven’t thought of him, until this moment, in more than 30 years. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/25 "2012-03-19T15:34:37Z")
From the OP, I’m getting the idea that it’s mostly about romantic interests. I’ve been on both sides of that coin. I have one ex that had told me a few times years after we broke up that she still thought of me as the love of her life and wishes things had gone differently, all that sort of thing. It was an amicable break-up, so it’s not like things went terrible or anything, but after I grieved the relationship, honestly, I just don’t really think about her anymore. I did have one particularly bad break up a few years ago, and I feel like I did lose some perspective but, oddly, everyone I know who saw how it went down agrees with my perspective or, interestingly, thinks worse of her than I do (though, to be fair, I harbor no ill-will toward her at all anymore). I’m not really sure where this one goes though since, even with a clear head, a lot of the stuff she said and did just… doesn’t make any sense. I know she tells it differently though since she accused me of things I never did. Oh well… ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/26 "2012-03-19T16:12:45Z")
Oh it doesn’t have to be romantic. I like **WhyNot** ’s story of getting someone to move to LA, and **jimm** , the famous helicopter-wrecker. I also like **MsJinx** ’s story — even though it was sort of the opposite of what I was thinking of. It sounds like a movie plot … like _The Big Chill_, except she wasn’t there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/27 "2012-03-19T16:32:07Z")
Heck, no. I am the wisecracking pal, as played by Una Merkel or Glenda Farrell. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/28 "2012-03-19T17:46:05Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I was the one who wanted out of my first marriage. I knew six months after we married that I had made a mistake. Every time I’d work up the nerve and tell him I wanted out, he’d cry and even threaten suicide, so I stayed for five years and even had a child with him. > > Of course we’ve stayed in contact since we have a daughter, but I imagine I have been the bitch in many of his stories. This is exactly my story. I’ve snipped out your ending which is totally different than mine. In my ending almost 20 years after we split my son and daughter still can’t mention my name in his presence without him sulking. I know I’m the bitch in his stories because he tells them to my children and has done so since they were barely able to talk. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/29 "2012-03-19T20:15:13Z")
A girl I knew for a few years in college and hooked up with one drunken night told me, the next day, that I had been her go-to masturbation fantasy for a while. About two years ago she found me on Facebook and told me it was still true. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/30 "2012-03-19T21:04:15Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > A girl I knew for a few years in college and hooked up with one drunken night told me, the next day, that I had been her go-to masturbation fantasy for a while. About two years ago she found me on Facebook and told me it was still true. I can only imagine one reason for sharing that with somebody. I would imagine I’m the one that got away for a couple of women - one in particular I know I hurt pretty badly. We are not in touch. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146/31 "2012-03-19T21:13:22Z")
Maybe not the star, but a pretty big player. I gave a child up for adoption and later we reunited. Pretty exciting for both my son and I, as well as for his father and his adoptive family. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-the-star-of-someone-elses-story/616146.md?page=1)