# Are you willing to rub my nipples during an interview? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 10, 2006, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173 "2006-06-10T05:47:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/41 "2006-06-12T17:50:58Z")
[QUOTE=Inner Stickler] SNIP And the applications! Why did you leave your last job? A)Quit B)Fired C)Laid off. I was hired to paint a fence! When the fence was painted I was done. Do I pick A or C? (Okay, this one I truly don’t know and I would appreciate an answer.) \*Actually, I think it is perfectly clear what I need to do. I need to steal rims from K Mart. [/QUOTE] If you are a consultant and all the work is over, the customer tells the agency that your services, while performed adequately, are no longer needed. At that point, you are laid off: eligible to return to work should economic conditions change. Incidentally, this is the distinction between who gets unemployment insurance in most cases. When come back, bring rims from K-Mart! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/42 "2006-06-12T17:56:59Z")
[QUOTE=The Weird One] I remember one summer I was home from college and looking desperately for a job. I picked up an application from the local organic co-op. I only got as far as the question, “Why are you excited to work here?” The only reasonable answer, “Because I enjoy unskilled menial labor,” seemed unlikely to get me hired, so I chucked it. Fucking hell, I’m supposed to get _excited_ about being paid crap to get treated like shit? [/QUOTE] You’re meant to be able to lie convincingly to that sort of question. How else are you going to be able to interact with customers who want to know which flax seed oil cat enema is going to be least enviromentally damaging. When I was interviewed for work in GCHQ (equivalent to the NSA) I got asked, “have you ever taken drugs?” to which I answered truthfully that I had tried marijuana on a holiday in Amsterdam, I got the job. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/43 "2006-06-13T02:59:10Z")
I give **ZebraShaSha** points for that well constructed exclamation that led off the second paragraph. Does **Opal** still maintain her page-O-flames? If she does, someone please send that in. (And tell her we all said hi.) I’ve only recently seen those screening kiosks – and only in certain minimum wage places. You can do better elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/44 "2006-06-13T05:45:32Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] Fabuolous rant, and bonus points for demonstrating that the word “chav” has made it to No’ Ca’lina. I suggest that you aim for mom & pop stores (if there are any left) rather than the corporate nadgers. [/QUOTE] Neither “chav” nor “nadgers” have made it to this particular corner of the Midwest. Li’l he’p? Brilliant OP, though. I’m currently waiting on my bank account to bottom out so that I have adequate incentive to get off my ass and find another job. I appear to be several months away from that, but (needless to say) I don’t look forward to it. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/45 "2006-06-13T06:00:35Z")
[QUOTE=Dijon Warlock] Neither “chav” nor “nadgers” have made it to this particular corner of the Midwest. Li’l he’p? [/QUOTE] [Chavs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav) Also known as NEDs, for **N** on- **E** ducated **D** elinquents. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/46 "2006-06-13T12:31:15Z")
I had the same problem when I was applying for jobs in my Green-named NC town earlier this summer. Filled out the same damn application and questionairre approximately 47,000 times. Never heard back from any-damn-body. Gave up and talked to some friends who worked on the university campus who hooked me up with a job. I have officially given up on the corporate world. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/47 "2006-06-13T14:41:45Z")
I’ll point out that I have been in the Job markey for some 35 years. Never, ever have a got a job from a “cold call application drop off”. I am convinced this is useless. All my jobs have been from networking or being headhunted. I’ll point out networking is easier than you think. For those just entering the job market- Get ahold of your close employed freinds, some teachers or ex-teachers, maybe ex-bosses, or freinds who have parents who know you. Tell them what you are interested in, and ask them to ask around. Belonging to a Fraternal org, a church, or a large club is good, also. JC’s, Masons, etc. Most “networking” at this level is just “Hey, Bob, my frat Brother over at XXXXX sez they are hiring, so sent them an aplication/resume”. But it still works hwaaaaay better than sending in a cold-call application. Being a “regular customer” can help get many a retail job, that’s networking too. As for headhunting- post that resume on Monster and such similar sites. I posted my resume, and also sent my resume. None of the resumes I sent got anything but regrets. I got dozens of offers from headhunters/recruiters who used search engines to find keywords in my resume- including offers from companies I had sent my resume to and who had replied “no thanks!” :eek: Experiences- include volunteer work. During the summer, unless you _have_ to get a burger-flippng job, get an internship or do volunteer work. You’d be suprsed how much “Docent at local Tech Museum…” with many nice keywords added will help for someone with little other experience. Volunteering for a Political campaign can help a lot if they win, soooo- pick someone who is a sure winner and volunteer. 😃 As to those tests- what they \*want to see \* is that you don’t steal, and that stealing is wrong, no matter what the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Spidey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Spidey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spidey)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/48 "2006-06-13T15:10:03Z")
The two I hate the most are: Q: Why do you want to work for us (Horse-Manure-Barehanded\_Shovellers inc.) ? A: Actually I dont _want_ to work for you guys, just get paid by you guys. But I think the only way that happes is if I do some work. Q: Why should we hire you? A: Thats really your question to answer here. You’ve already asked me to provide a truthful report of my own skills and experience (i would never embelish), I can’t also draw the conclusion for you. But yeah I think they just want to see if you write a funny answer - If you still think youre funny, then you aren’t desperate enough to need this job. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/49 "2006-06-13T20:20:29Z")
I came here for tit rubbing and damn if I’m leaving without reading about some! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/50 "2006-06-13T20:49:45Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] I came here for tit rubbing and damn if I’m leaving without reading about some! [/QUOTE] [totally juvenile] I rubbed your mom’s tits last night. [/tj] ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/51 "2006-06-13T20:56:56Z")
[QUOTE=The Weird One] [totally juvenile] I rubbed your mom’s tits last night. [/tj] [/QUOTE] A necrophiliac eh? You sick bastard. At least I can leave the thread now. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/52 "2006-06-13T21:03:58Z")
[QUOTE=The Weird One] [totally juvenile] I rubbed your mom’s tits last night. [/tj] [/QUOTE] Let’s leave moms out of this, 'cause, you know… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/53 "2006-06-13T21:27:28Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Look, just calm down and pee into this cup. [/QUOTE] From _here?_ ---
**Author:** ![Gamaliel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b487fb/32.png) [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/54 "2006-06-13T23:32:57Z")
[QUOTE=Operation Ripper] Get off my lawn, you punk kid. Weren’t we promised nipples? [/QUOTE] And a hovercraft. Where’s my hovercraft? ---
**Author:** ![bitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bitizen)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/55 "2006-06-14T03:33:30Z")
Many thanks for this. Was in a huge unemployment funk myself and this really cheered me up. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/56 "2006-06-14T13:37:32Z")
More seriously, I see they’ve added another layer of wheat/chaff separation: used to be there’d be the headhunter interview, where they see if you have anything remotely like the skills necessary for the job, to find out if it’s worth bothering a tech for the tech interview, where they find out whether or not the headhunter is a moron, and if you pass that, you get the manager interview, where they find out whether or not you fit into the Corporate Culture and are willing to be a Part of the Team and Enhance the Productivity Paridigm and follow the Seventeen Steps of Moderately Productive Drones. To all of this, they’ve added the pre-screening of finding out if you’re willing to jump through a hoop, and, if so, how high can they pick it up off the ground before you say “screw this” and go do something else, and, especially, are you willing to wear a frilly pink dress while you jump through the hoop. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/57 "2006-06-14T19:39:48Z")
[QUOTE=Martini Enfield] [Chavs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav) Also known as NEDs, for **N** on- **E** ducated **D** elinquents. [/QUOTE] _Danke_, **Martini**. Now that I know, I can safely state that I am not one. Yo, noamsain? Word. Ssup? …and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/58 "2006-06-14T23:11:01Z")
I want to add my accolades to ZebraShaSha for a topnotch rant. I’ve filled out some of those damn forms myself. I must say, though, that they do prepare one psychologically for the ignominy of being forced to pee in a cup as if one were just an unapprehended addict. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/59 "2006-06-15T11:47:13Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] I want to add my accolades to ZebraShaSha for a topnotch rant. I’ve filled out some of those damn forms myself. I must say, though, that they do prepare one psychologically for the ignominy of being forced to pee in a cup as if one were just an unapprehended addict. [/QUOTE] I’ve never did drugs in my life. I’ve also decided that if a job requires drug tests either before or during employment, I ain’t doing it. I’ll see how that goes for me if I ever quit my current 11+ year job. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173/60 "2006-06-15T12:40:05Z")
Job apps? I could pit the British Immigration and Nationality directorate. They changed all their paperwork last September just so they could ask if any students wishing to stay and complete their course in the UK had commited genocide or any other crimes against humanity :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-you-willing-to-rub-my-nipples-during-an-interview/360173.md?page=4)